Tim Tebow hasn’t led Florida to a fourth-quarter comeback win or won an SEC championship WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM MY GOD?

There’s logical quibbles to be had with the premise–how many sophomore quarterbacks win SEC titles or lead fourth-quarter comebacks to begin with, much less in their first year starting?–but the essence of the thing is an accurate variation on the preseason fluff piece. Tebow good, could be better, Tebow improve, Tebow not care about awards, etc, etc. All true, especially the bit about becoming a better pocket qb. Then again, he’s probably the only junior in the country with a frame of expectations hung around “a.) needs to win conference title, b.) must lead at least one fourth quarter comeback.” (Stafford’s close, but much of the heat is dispersed by proximity to Knowshon Moreno.)

There’s also the issue of metaphorically burying the Heisman, which LSUFreek works up nicely below. Magic trick!

All due apologies to budding superstar Ricky Jean-Francois, who was chosen because he looked like a badass from LSU, and not because we think a Heisman should be slammed up his nose. Oh, and let’s pre-empt the usual list of Tebow-relevant comments, since God forbid an opposing fan admit a player was exceptionally talented.

–”He’s a glorified fullback.” Who completes 66.9 percent of his passes.

–”He’s the best 9-4 Heisman winner evarrr!!!” Totally his fault for not playing defensive tackle.

–”WOOOOOO GEORGIA!!!” You can count! Even with half your population failing to finish high school! Good for you, Chester!

–”Tebow sucks.” Yes, probably the best of the arguments here, since it doesn’t even start with a logical premise, bypasses reason, and instead moves directly to invective. Just go ahead and use this instead of any of the weakling verbiage above.