–Hello?

–Yes, I’m calling regarding job opening #828D. May I confirm that this position has been filled please?

–That’s the corporate representative and public relations position, referent to the athletic program, correct?

–Yes, mademoiselle. I believe if you look at the CV submitted, you’ll find my friend is very–

–The position has been filled, sir. I’m very sorry, and encourage you to apply for other positions in the future.

–Is there any reason why my…client was not picked?

–He just wasn’t what we were looking for, sir. We had many qualified candidates, and it was a very difficult process.

–I…I understand. Thank you very much, madame.

–WHAT THEY SAY?

–You were not what they required.

–WHAT THEY MEAN? MAUAJI DESTROYER OF FOES HAVE CHARISMA AND SEX PEEL!

–There is no way to know.

–MAUAJI KNEW HEAD SHOTS WERE BLURRY.

–I would not beat yourself up, friend.

–MAUAJI NEVER SUCCEED AS ACTOR AND SPOKESANIMAL! FATHER OF MAUAJI WAS RIGHT!

–Now, now. Can Steve buy you something to make you feel better? An infant kebab, perhaps? A little spicy ke-baby for my best friend in the whole world make it all right?

–MAUAJI TOO SAD TO EAT.

–Now, I know you can turn down one ke-baby…but two?

[begins sobbing]

–MAUAJI…MAUAJI SO LUCKY TO HAVE STEVE. NOT NEED MASCOT JOB WITH FRIEND LIKE YOU!

–Aww, that’s the child-eating terror of the streets of Bamako I know and love.

–AND FEAR?

–Of course, buddy. And fear. Now, let’s go get those ke-babies!

–YAY KE-BABY TIME!!!