--Hello?

--Yes, I'm calling regarding job opening #828D. May I confirm that this position has been filled please?

--That's the corporate representative and public relations position, referent to the athletic program, correct?

--Yes, mademoiselle. I believe if you look at the CV submitted, you'll find my friend is very--

--The position has been filled, sir. I'm very sorry, and encourage you to apply for other positions in the future.

--Is there any reason why my...client was not picked?

--He just wasn't what we were looking for, sir. We had many qualified candidates, and it was a very difficult process.

--I...I understand. Thank you very much, madame.

--WHAT THEY SAY?

--You were not what they required.

--WHAT THEY MEAN? MAUAJI DESTROYER OF FOES HAVE CHARISMA AND SEX PEEL!

--There is no way to know.

--MAUAJI KNEW HEAD SHOTS WERE BLURRY.

--I would not beat yourself up, friend.

--MAUAJI NEVER SUCCEED AS ACTOR AND SPOKESANIMAL! FATHER OF MAUAJI WAS RIGHT!

--Now, now. Can Steve buy you something to make you feel better? An infant kebab, perhaps? A little spicy ke-baby for my best friend in the whole world make it all right?

--MAUAJI TOO SAD TO EAT.

--Now, I know you can turn down one ke-baby...but two?

[begins sobbing]

--MAUAJI...MAUAJI SO LUCKY TO HAVE STEVE. NOT NEED MASCOT JOB WITH FRIEND LIKE YOU!

--Aww, that's the child-eating terror of the streets of Bamako I know and love.

--AND FEAR?

--Of course, buddy. And fear. Now, let's go get those ke-babies!

--YAY KE-BABY TIME!!!