MAY I SPEAK WITH HUMAN RESOURCES PLEASE THANK YOU
by Orson on Aug 12, 2008 11:24 AM EDT
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--Hello?
--Yes, I'm calling regarding job opening #828D. May I confirm that this position has been filled please?
--That's the corporate representative and public relations position, referent to the athletic program, correct?
--Yes, mademoiselle. I believe if you look at the CV submitted, you'll find my friend is very--
--The position has been filled, sir. I'm very sorry, and encourage you to apply for other positions in the future.
--Is there any reason why my...client was not picked?
--He just wasn't what we were looking for, sir. We had many qualified candidates, and it was a very difficult process.
--I...I understand. Thank you very much, madame.
--WHAT THEY SAY?
--You were not what they required.
--WHAT THEY MEAN? MAUAJI DESTROYER OF FOES HAVE CHARISMA AND SEX PEEL!
--There is no way to know.
--MAUAJI KNEW HEAD SHOTS WERE BLURRY.
--I would not beat yourself up, friend.
--MAUAJI NEVER SUCCEED AS ACTOR AND SPOKESANIMAL! FATHER OF MAUAJI WAS RIGHT!
--Now, now. Can Steve buy you something to make you feel better? An infant kebab, perhaps? A little spicy ke-baby for my best friend in the whole world make it all right?
--MAUAJI TOO SAD TO EAT.
--Now, I know you can turn down one ke-baby...but two?
[begins sobbing]
--MAUAJI...MAUAJI SO LUCKY TO HAVE STEVE. NOT NEED MASCOT JOB WITH FRIEND LIKE YOU!
--Aww, that's the child-eating terror of the streets of Bamako I know and love.
--AND FEAR?
--Of course, buddy. And fear. Now, let's go get those ke-babies!
--YAY KE-BABY TIME!!!
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I imagined him eating ke-babies…just seems right. Figures the aggies would go for a no-balled loser like that. MAN-UP AGGIES! Get a freaking hyena already.
by COB on Aug 12, 2008 11:37 AM EDT reply actions
If A&M had gone with Mauaji, would class have been automatically dismissed when he wandered into a classroom, jumped up on the front desk, and mauled the professor? They’re some nutbags down there.
by JD on Aug 12, 2008 11:40 AM EDT reply actions
So when did Mauaji and Steve visit College Station?
It’s a shame they travelled all that way and didn’t even get a sit-down interview.
by beerbaron on Aug 12, 2008 11:58 AM EDT reply actions
Dang! That creature looks like the offspring of Cerberus, if one of it’s heads happened to get dibs on a wayward hyena/dalmation mix down in, oh. . . .say. . . .HELL!
And that homegrown? No need to put an Uzi in his hands. He CAN TAKE my money.
Too bad about that j.o.b. “It’s like a jungle, sometimes it makes me wonder, how I keep from goin’ under. Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, HUH!” (always tryin’ to keep the po’ boys down, ALWAYS)
by BixBeiderbecke on Aug 12, 2008 12:01 PM EDT reply actions
Mauaji’s face may be fierce but his heart is crying… thinking of not getting a chance to eat Bevo’s heart
by InsaneCoachPosse on Aug 12, 2008 12:08 PM EDT reply actions
Mauajis face may be fierce but his heart is crying thinking of not getting a chance to eat Bevos heart
That alone makes me cry…
by I R A Darth Aggie on Aug 12, 2008 12:21 PM EDT reply actions
I got some weird looks at the front desk I work at, b/c I was tearing up a little bit. Damn you Orson, for making me look like a fool; it’s alright though, I am a Royals baseball fan, so I’m used to it.
by J-Mac=WMD on Aug 12, 2008 12:24 PM EDT reply actions
Western Kentucky needs to contact Steve so they can replace that ridiculous “walking uvula.”
by hunglikehussein on Aug 12, 2008 12:30 PM EDT reply actions
Mauaji, Destroyer of foes = Crocodiles from Pearls Before Swine.
That is to say, +100 to you Steve.
by Ground0EastLansing on Aug 12, 2008 12:42 PM EDT reply actions
I don’t know why Mauaji, Destroyer of foes is so upset? He’d never get past the credit check anyway.
Can’t have any tax lien’s or defaulted credit cards if yo ass wants to work up in da station.
by Ryno on Aug 12, 2008 12:47 PM EDT reply actions
Was Michael Vick consulted on this choice of pooches?
by Ackos on Aug 12, 2008 1:03 PM EDT reply actions
I think we all can only hope to have such infinite sex peel.
by Digital Headbutt on Aug 12, 2008 1:04 PM EDT reply actions
No matter how many times you post that picture, I always get a chuckle imagining the guy on the back of the motorcycle to the left of Mauaji praying that hyenas don’t chase cars. And the guy to the right of “Steve” who’s not going to take any chances.
by MaconDawg on Aug 12, 2008 1:15 PM EDT reply actions
Any occasion to revisit Mauuji is a worthy one.
/looking for Hyena Chow
by Der Schatten on Aug 12, 2008 1:51 PM EDT reply actions
I keep that picture in a digital frame in my office along with a picture of Dr. Rockso. Thanks for the content EDSBS.
by blazin on Aug 12, 2008 2:03 PM EDT reply actions
Does the chain really need to be that freaking huge?
by mykiec on Aug 12, 2008 2:26 PM EDT reply actions
Steve keeps a bucket of kitties by the cot he sleeps on so Mauaji has fresh snacks in the middle of the night… A ghostly old man with an M on his hat recommended it to him…
by PeterPumpkinhead on Aug 12, 2008 2:32 PM EDT reply actions
A&M spent all that time looking for a new mascot and ended up with the same breed of dog.
Why does this not surprise us?
by blon57 on Aug 12, 2008 2:33 PM EDT reply actions
- wrong question. The question is, “Is the chain strong enough?”
The answer, sadly, is no.
by Hyena Chow on Aug 12, 2008 5:10 PM EDT reply actions
What more scarey than Mauaji with AIDS?
The motherfucker that gave it to him.
by BallsDeep on Aug 12, 2008 6:49 PM EDT reply actions
Anyone else just feel really bad for Mauaji? I mean, he may be a child-eating terror, but he just wants a job making people cheer. And really, is he that much worse than most mascots?
by Justin on Aug 12, 2008 10:18 PM EDT reply actions
Just the $60MM man trying to make a buck or three. Good to see he’s still alive over there.
by yoyofutbawl on Aug 12, 2008 11:10 PM EDT reply actions
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