WE’RE ALLERGIC TO SOBRIETY AND HARD WORK. DOCTOR’S ORDERS.
This is undoubtedly the strangest career-ending football condition you could conceive of besides the physically impossible, like “pregnancy” or “vertigo of the testes.”
Ole Miss offensive lineman Kermit Tyler, a freshman from New Orleans, has been diagnosed with an allergic reaction to strenuous exercise.
Haha, go ahead and laugh, but Kermit is flat done for football thanks to what appears to be exercise-induced anaphylaxis, which is not one of those funny hee-hee allergies like the one your dad gets where his eyes swell shut, you knock him to the floor, and then steal his wallet and head to Biloxi as fast as Greyhound will take you. Nooo, this is the unfun chokey kind that could, in theory, kill someone.
Houston Nutt will honor the scholarship because he’s not evil. Bravo for him.
Is there a fun note in all this? Certainly. Exercise induced anaphylaxis is listed on about.com on the same page with “itchy pants syndrome,” which you didn’t know you had, but suspected after that last trip to Ibiza and its unfortunate, antibiotic-consuming aftermath.
BTW: This is your first result for “exercise allergy” on image search. (SFW) Norman Rockwell’s idea of a doctor was sick, sir, simply sick.









1
Allahver Fist says:
Colonel Nutt, did you order the Code Reb?!?!?!?!
August 11th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
2
Vol says:
“Houston Nutt will honor the scholarship because he’s not evil. Bravo for him.”
Nick Saban, on the other hand, just fired an assistant coach for not coming up with that one.
August 11th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
3
Ryno says:
/makes obligatory “it’s not easy being green” joke
August 11th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
4
RockSteadyFreddie says:
Does this make Colonel Reb cry? I think we all agree on that.
PS Saban clearly does not have time for this shit.
August 11th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
5
Bagger Douche says:
Rudy Carpenter is taking notes.
August 11th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
6
NewAZTiger says:
If only the NCAA allowed Ole Miss to shoot the guy up with Epi every 15 minutes…
Talk about a rampaging lineman…
August 11th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
7
Biggus Rickus says:
Man, if I’d had this an excuse to get me out of teeball practice instead of “stomach aches” my dad probably wouldn’t have called me a worthless pussy.
August 11th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
8
John Vierdsen says:
I’m drunk and not working right now. Orson = pwn3d.
August 11th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
9
MV3 says:
Any truth to the rumor that they sold the naming rights of Vaught-Hemingway Stadium at Hollingsworth Field to Lazy-Boy Furniture?
August 11th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
10
NativeSon says:
Hard to believe he made it all the way to 18 years of age as an athlete and never exercised even once. Astounding, even.
August 11th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
11
Ole Miss Grad says:
He was misdiagnosed and will be returning to the team.
September 14th, 2008 at 10:35 am