WE'RE ALLERGIC TO SOBRIETY AND HARD WORK. DOCTOR'S ORDERS.

by Orson on Aug 11, 2008 1:10 PM EDT

This is undoubtedly the strangest career-ending football condition you could conceive of besides the physically impossible, like "pregnancy" or "vertigo of the testes."

Ole Miss offensive lineman Kermit Tyler, a freshman from New Orleans, has been diagnosed with an allergic reaction to strenuous exercise.

Haha, go ahead and laugh, but Kermit is flat done for football thanks to what appears to be exercise-induced anaphylaxis, which is not one of those funny hee-hee allergies like the one your dad gets where his eyes swell shut, you knock him to the floor, and then steal his wallet and head to Biloxi as fast as Greyhound will take you. Nooo, this is the unfun chokey kind that could, in theory, kill someone.

Houston Nutt will honor the scholarship because he's not evil. Bravo for him.

Is there a fun note in all this? Certainly. Exercise induced anaphylaxis is listed on about.com on the same page with "itchy pants syndrome," which you didn't know you had, but suspected after that last trip to Ibiza and its unfortunate, antibiotic-consuming aftermath.

BTW: This is your first result for "exercise allergy" on image search. (SFW) Norman Rockwell's idea of a doctor was sick, sir, simply sick.

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Comments

Colonel Nutt, did you order the Code Reb?!?!?!?!

by Allahver Fist on Aug 11, 2008 1:20 PM EDT reply actions

“Houston Nutt will honor the scholarship because hes not evil. Bravo for him.”

Nick Saban, on the other hand, just fired an assistant coach for not coming up with that one.

by Vol on Aug 11, 2008 1:26 PM EDT reply actions

/makes obligatory “it’s not easy being green” joke

by Ryno on Aug 11, 2008 1:45 PM EDT reply actions

Does this make Colonel Reb cry? I think we all agree on that.

PS Saban clearly does not have time for this shit.

by RockSteadyFreddie on Aug 11, 2008 1:50 PM EDT reply actions

Rudy Carpenter is taking notes.

by Bagger Douche on Aug 11, 2008 1:54 PM EDT reply actions

If only the NCAA allowed Ole Miss to shoot the guy up with Epi every 15 minutes…

Talk about a rampaging lineman…

by NewAZTiger on Aug 11, 2008 2:21 PM EDT reply actions

Man, if I’d had this an excuse to get me out of teeball practice instead of “stomach aches” my dad probably wouldn’t have called me a worthless pussy.

by Biggus Rickus on Aug 11, 2008 2:24 PM EDT reply actions