CORRECTIONS, 08/08/08
by Holly Anderson on Aug 8, 2008 11:50 AM EDT
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PrintLast week's interview with West Virginia's Steve Slaton inaccurately labeled the following passage as a quote about Slaton's roommate and teammate Pat White:
The alarm goes off once, but if you hit snooze he jumps off your nightstand (up to 3 feet) and wheels around your room looking for a place to hide before he sounds the alarm a second time. The snooze time can be set from 0-9 minutes, so if you set it at 0 he runs right away. Nothing like a little hide-and-seek to get you going in the morning.
Wheee!
In fact, White had merely purchased a Clocky Runaway Alarm Clock for his roommate to speed their departure for early practices. We regret the error.
In Monday's exclusive preview of our forthcoming Tim Tebow biography, it has come to our attention that our staff may have inadvertently but falsely inflated the hopes of many of our young readers. Mr. Tebow, as of press time, is not in the habit of punching out loose teeth of wee Gator fans as they sleep and leaving money under their pillows, nor is he currently employed as a spy, astronaut, cowboy, railroad engineer, or dinosaur hunter (although the latter would be a stone awesome premise for a TV show). We regret the error.
In Tuesday's Curious Index, we reported that USC's Rey Maualuga has perfected an on-field finishing move inspired by Mortal Kombat, wherein he is able to tear out an opposing player's spinal column and fashion it into a fetching boa in one fluid motion. Maualuga in fact intends to construct xylophones out of the bones he collects this season. We regret the error.
Fight on.
Last week's edition of the Ryan Perrilloux Memorial Crime Blotter reported that LSU's entire defensive line had been spotted joyriding through the Spanish Lake Basin in a custom airboat outfitted with satellite radio, detachable sidecars, a full-size barbecue grill, and working gun turrets. Boosters for the Tigers have since assured EDSBS that the turrets and weaponry aboard are purely decorative in nature. We regret the error.
Elsewhere in our SEC Literary Roundup, we misidentified the title and contents of a forthcoming book by Georgia Bulldogs coach Mark Richt. The book is a memoir entitled Dawg Eat Dawg World, not a guide to Dixieland sexual acrobatics called DoggyDog World, as previously reported. We regret the error.
CLARIFICATION: We have received a number of complaints regarding our Pac-10 rankings for the upcoming EDSBS-Golden Flake Fantasy College Football Draftacular Presented By YellaWood. It seems that many readers failed to ascertain our sarcasm in referring to UCLA's offensive line as "fortress-like" and are having trouble rearranging their draft boards at the last minute. The following graphic of said fortress was unintentionally omitted from our printed draft guide.
We regret the error, and have shifted the draft date ahead one week to acommodate all necessary adjustments. Thank you kindly, and enjoy your weekend.
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“DoggyDog World” – shouldn’t I just wait for the movie adaptation?
by GamecockTony on Aug 8, 2008 12:01 PM EDT reply actions
This shameless hero worship of Tim Tebow must end! The things that are said about him are ridiculous! No QB is capable of over 4,100 yards of combined offense..
Wait. What?
by Brewdog on Aug 8, 2008 12:21 PM EDT reply actions
Not just mounted AK’s mind you… actual gun turrets. Of the 20mm variety. Tank Williams wanted to buy the vessel but would have no where to use it in Dallas…
by dudis41 on Aug 8, 2008 12:27 PM EDT reply actions
In my world, “no” and “where” deserve to be separate words.
by dudis41 on Aug 8, 2008 12:30 PM EDT reply actions
I will be the official unofficial Tim Tebow biographer.
The name of the book will be called
“Jumpass”, I mean “Jump Pass”, and I will lockdown the rights to jumppass.com too.
I was thinking of going with “Tim Tebow,Cuttin Loose: My time in overseas Medicine”
by Mr. Pelican Pants on Aug 8, 2008 12:35 PM EDT reply actions
Re: “Nowhere”
Obviously, you’re not a fan of ‘Boodock Saints.’
“Where you goin? Nowhere!”
by Sullivan013 on Aug 8, 2008 12:37 PM EDT reply actions
That’s “Boondock Saints”
Damned fat fingers.
by Sullivan013 on Aug 8, 2008 12:38 PM EDT reply actions
tell truth Holly… which one in the picture is you?
by InsaneCoachPosse on Aug 8, 2008 12:54 PM EDT reply actions
That lipstick. That come-hither stare. That sexy lingerie. That’s not a pillow fortress, that’s a pillow whorehouse.
by Harris on Aug 8, 2008 1:52 PM EDT reply actions
I haven’t seen such a well-constructed pillow fort since the war.
by Biggus Rickus on Aug 8, 2008 1:53 PM EDT reply actions
Orson, how is your man-crush affected by Eric Berry’s statement that he intends to be “noticeably more aggressive” this season?
by Clawsome on Aug 8, 2008 2:04 PM EDT reply actions
No. 1, You mean like a Mark Richt sex tape? I can see it now. Night. Lights off. Courtyard Inn by Mariott. Double beds pushed together. Pat Boone playing in the background. Picture of Jesus turned facing the wall. Under the blankets. Hospital corners still in tact. Missionary. Superman onesie PJs straight rockin’ it.
by waycross on Aug 8, 2008 4:06 PM EDT reply actions
OH…btw…. LSUfreek now has some serious competition in our beloved ms HRA
bravo Holly…well done!!
by InsaneCoachPosse on Aug 8, 2008 4:40 PM EDT reply actions
LSUFreek and I coexist because we have different skillsets. His is GOOD Photoshop.
by Holly on Aug 8, 2008 4:42 PM EDT reply actions
Judging solely on recent interviews, Pat White may not approve of his likeness on a white alarm clock.
… and #16:
1. Superman onesie PJs? Don’t you mean his Herschal Walker PJs?
2. The money shot would be called by Larry Munson.
“My God all mighty ! Did you see what he just did? We just spunked on her face with a hobnailed dick and broke her nose! We just crushed her face!
3. Mrs. Richt brings him a glass of water.
by The Crimson King on Aug 9, 2008 11:47 PM EDT reply actions
As a South Carolina fan, I’m just glad it’s not a Darren McFadden alarm clock; we’d never catch it!
by CockDonor on Aug 11, 2008 1:31 AM EDT reply actions
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