COUNTDOWN: 20
“It is the still, small voice that the soul heeds, not the deafening blasts of doom.”
August 8, 2008
CORRECTIONS, 08/08/08
Last week’s interview with West Virginia’s Steve Slaton inaccurately labeled the following passage as a quote about Slaton’s roommate and teammate Pat White:
The alarm goes off once, but if you hit snooze he jumps off your nightstand (up to 3 feet) and wheels around your room looking for a place to hide before he sounds the alarm a second time. The snooze time can be set from 0-9 minutes, so if you set it at 0 he runs right away. Nothing like a little hide-and-seek to get you going in the morning.
Wheee!
In fact, White had merely purchased a Clocky Runaway Alarm Clock for his roommate to speed their departure for early practices. We regret the error.
In Monday’s exclusive preview of our forthcoming Tim Tebow biography, it has come to our attention that our staff may have inadvertently but falsely inflated the hopes of many of our young readers. Mr. Tebow, as of press time, is not in the habit of punching out loose teeth of wee Gator fans as they sleep and leaving money under their pillows, nor is he currently employed as a spy, astronaut, cowboy, railroad engineer, or dinosaur hunter (although the latter would be a stone awesome premise for a TV show). We regret the error.
CURIOUS INDEX, 8/8/2008
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The SN Column is up, and it’s a laundry list of things we won’t do, but will eventually do, and are just copping to early. It’s ADDriffic, as is this edition of the CI, which is being typed from the lobby of a very spiffy Hampton Inn in Statesboro, GA. (Assignment: Chris Hatcher and GSU, who play UGA in week one and could provide some smart insight into what makes Georgia so vrry, vrry hyped.) Canes defensive tackle Antonio Dixon is out of the hospital in Miami following an overnight stay due to heat-related symptoms at a Miami practice. You might say, “What in the hell is someone from Miami doing having problems with the heat?” We would ask, “If someone from Miami is having trouble in practice, it must be hotter than Satan’s asshole out there, and they would know better than you.” R.I.P., Simpson Pepper. A moment of silence for the longtime Bama P.A. man, please. Have you hugged your P.A. announcer today? You should. Please drive safely. Steele Hull. Grrrrr. LSU adds a walk-on fullback named “Steele Hull,” who just became the default starter at the position for our all-name team. We still await the real life version of Leslie Nielsen’s “Dick Steele” from Spy Hard, and if you’re mocking our double lowbrow, direct to DVD movie tastes in this instance, you haven’t lived until you’ve seen Evil Andy Griffith talk about his pretty robotic arms. SMQ is not a crook. He moves on, and we flash Ali G shoulder thumps and peace signs in his general directions. Respek, sir. |
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