Because things are beginning to spin out of control, and that’s not a bad thing if you’re wearing a helmet. Fortunately for us, we’re like Michigan’s football players and wear one at all times.

We’d never seen this photo before. If you haven’t, you should see it. It is wonderful in ways undescribed by most world religions’ descriptions of the wonderful. It’s also week three this year for college football fans.

This was the “Yakety Sax” game, which might explain why we missed the pic, what with the convulsive laughter and repeated watchings of this.

Your program is more felonious than ours because we are better people than you. Eleven Warriors points at Michigan Against the World’s Buckeye arrest tally in the Tressel era and says, well, yes, we’ve had quite a few people arrested. We still own you, because we don’t care. Okay, they’re much more conscientious about it than we would be, but that’s what we would say.

Kirk Ferentz is going to do things a little differently this year, but not in a Bud Dwyer kind of way.

A custom schedule maker is never a bad thing to have hanging around the virtual house.

Matt Patchan of Florida, back on the field after being shot this offseason in a random incident in a Tampa park, seems to have kept his wit about him:

When asked what he felt he brought to the Florida defensive line, freshman Matt Patchan didn’t hesitate from unleashing the first zinger of preseason camp.

“Long hair and attractiveness,” the curly-haired Patchan said.

Cosmo-reader Dicky Lyons has his own spot on UK’s website. If you loved Nicholas Cage decking women in The Wicker Man, you will love Dicky’s inner monologue revealed.

Alabama has no depth chart. Really. Not even close.

Yes it’s easy to point and scream “FRUITY HIPPIES” at Colorado’s plan to compost stadium waste and have valet parking for bicycles, but consider for a moment the real environmental sense it makes to…um, wait. Valet parking for bikes? Okay, go ahead and continue screaming whatever you like, because that is SuperMechaGodzillaRetarded.