OKLAHOMA APOLOGIZES? AROO?
Somali 1975 Barry Switzer thinks you’ve gone soft, son.We sometimes think of the Big 12 as the sister conference to the SEC, and for a number of very good reasons. They, too, care a lot about football, sometimes to the point of ripping each others testicles off. Their constituency, like SEC fans, often exhibit social behaviors that cost them teeth, houses, sobriety, and most painfully, their cable television. (Read: both trashy.) And most importantly, they’re the only conference that can actually (in a vestigial fashion, at least) trump the academic skullduggery of SEC schools.
(Also, Big 12 fans lack teeth in numbers almost comparable to SEC fans, and are second in terms of college football fans and their frequency being seen on television running shirtless down dirt roads with a police spotlight on them. They’re first in being interviewed after tornadoes, but lag in being interviewed after tornadoes while shirtless.)
Yet, there are some differences at the root of things between the conferences. Like, say, the issuance of apologies between schools in the short matter of a few years over past conflicts. Oklahoma is holding a ceremony this year to commemorate the “Game of the Century” in 1971, which if you watch on ESPN Classic is actually one of the few vintage games that will grab a modern viewer by the shorthairs and force you to watch it. (It looks like the Ragnarok of football games, a hard-pounding contest under grave, apocalyptic skies between two teams hitting each other very, very hard.)
The Game of this Century in question: the 30-3 dishumiliarrassment of Nebraska by Oklahoma, the same one where Bill “Fucking hillbillies” earned his nickname buy calling Oklahoma fans “fucking hillbillies.” This created “bad blood” between teams, which for some reason is…a problem?
Just look at the intro, for Switzer’s sake:
The last time Nebraska played at Owen Field, atypical bad blood spoiled the night.
Bad blood is…atypical? Do not…grok. As an SEC fan, we consider wanting opposing kickers to be thrown head first into whirling helicopter blades to be a mere start on enmity, not a problem to be corrected. We also think your books on dinosaurs are charming, as they clearly fall for the tricks Satan has played on you and your “scientists.” (Kansas, you’re feeling us here. We know it. You’re like Cobb County with corn and half as many people, baby.)









1
AgnosticTheocrat says:
I’ll be honest, I went to middle school in Cobb County (good old Hightower Trail) back in the Clintonista years when His Most Glorious Leader Newt was our rep, and I never got the ID brain blender treatment in Biology class that I remember. Of course, when I transferred to a High School in northern Ohio it was like I’d skipped 2 grades, but seriously, since when is education ‘apposed ta be more important than FOOTBAW!?
August 5th, 2008 at 11:39 am
2
Doug says:
Your SEC-Big XII comparison is off base, sirs. As football-crazed as we get down here in Dixie, I am unaware of any SEC fans who have tried to gain the upper hand in a given rivalry through testicular larceny.
August 5th, 2008 at 11:44 am
3
dudis41 says:
#2
Fans? Maybe not. Mascots however…
http://www.gocollegiate.com/editor/UserFiles/UGA%20a...
j
August 5th, 2008 at 11:50 am
4
dudis41 says:
And I know that specific occurence may not be a traditional rivalry, but attempted testicular larcency transcends such things.
August 5th, 2008 at 11:52 am
5
NewAZTiger says:
#2 – we have had fathers attempt to shoot their sons, which is more like ripping your own testicles off.
August 5th, 2008 at 11:55 am
6
twogreattastes says:
How could you have any bad blood toward, or for that matter attempt to rip the testicles off of, someone wearing pants that bitchin?
August 5th, 2008 at 11:58 am
7
beckett929 says:
one of my favourite moments from King of the Hill comes from Hank telling Peggy about Bobby entering the junior rodeo –
“The calves just run around all over the place, no plan or direction… its like Barry Switzer is coaching them”
August 5th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
8
Malcolm Kass says:
Ahem, Kansas has wheat, Neb and Iowa have corn! Get it straight, morans!
BTW, check out the US News rankings again cowboy.
SEC Big XII
Vandy 19 UTexas 44
UF 49 A&M 62
UGA 59 Baylor 75
Ala 91 CU 79
Auburn 96 ISU 85
UTenn 96 KU 85
USCar 112 UNeb 91
UKenn 112 Mizzou 91
Ark 124 OU 108
LSU NR KSU 124
Ole Miss NR OSU NR
MSU NR TTech NR
*NR is not ranked.
The Big XII and the SEC looooookkkkkk pretty similar to me. But again, who cares about academics? And when is the last time evolution meant anything beyond cute little 2 hr specials on the Discovery channel? Biology blows.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
9
blon57 says:
Re: Big 12- Their constituency, like SEC fans, often exhibit social behaviors that cost them teeth, houses, sobriety,…academic skullduggery of SEC schools…Big 12 fans lack teeth in numbers almost comparable to SEC fans, etc…
I cannot even begin to express the moral outrage of this. I don’t where to start…
Oh, and doesn’t sweet Barry look like a porn star from the 70s with really bad taste in clothing?
August 5th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
10
The Song of Hiawatha Francisco says:
Ahem, Kansas has wheat, Neb and Iowa have corn! Get it straight, morans! . . . who cares about academics?
A gallon of irony spilt, etc.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
11
Will Collier says:
Bad blood is…atypical? Do not…grok.
I dunno. I went to a few Texas-OU games in the 90’s while at UT for grad school, and was surprised to find the atmosphere exceptionally lame compared to any in-conference game in the SEC. Quiet crowd that sat on its hands (on both sides) and the games themselves were pretty good. General vibe was analogous to an SEC team in an off-year playing Southern Miss. In Austin, Texas had the lamest home-field fans I’ve ever seen (and not heard). I was the most fired-up guy in the student section most Saturdays, and I frankly didn’t give a crap whether UT won or lost.
Never made it to a Texas/TA&M game, though. That might well be a different story.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
12
Malcolm Kass says:
Looking at the schools at the top of the US news and world report, can you imagine how boring going to those institutions would be? Seriously, how lame must you be to go to Princeton, Cornell, anywhere in Mass or Northern Cali?
August 5th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
13
NewAZTiger says:
#10 – methinks you’re not quite so hip to internet memes.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
14
blon57 says:
#11
Wow. Where were you sitting? I’ve never been to a “quiet” UT-OU game.
You need to come back to Dallas this year. We’ll show you the real animosity between the states.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
15
Malcolm Kass says:
#13
I was wondering how long until someone notices. Although I did think it was “Get it straight” vs. “Get a brain”. My bad.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
16
The Song of Hiawatha Francisco says:
No, the bad is all mine. I think I’ll show myself out.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
17
Jonathan says:
Stranger in a strange land references? Wow, did you get handed a list of books you need to read when you turned 8, and finished the list? Always impressed with the variety of references you use.
“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. “
August 5th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
18
Will Collier says:
Wow. Where were you sitting? I’ve never been to a “quiet” UT-OU game.
The last one I went to (I want to say 1995), I was on the goal line about five rows up, I think on the Texas side. That game came down to a goal-line stand for the UT defense literally right in front of us. I guess there were about half a dozen of us in my group, jumping up and down and screaming like idiots for the last series (Texas held, and won the game).
Texas “fans” behind us were telling us to sit down. During the last play. Which happened (again) right in front of where were were (not) sitting.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
19
HeadThief says:
#11 – you must have gone during the Blake vs Mackovic era. Of course even when Blake was coaching – I mean being paid to be the head coach – the grandma behind me threatened to “go down on the field and kick Blake’s ass”. Good times.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
20
meatybob says:
blon57,
I remember when the Big XII formed, the word on the street was that UT fans are the “come late, leave early, talk amongst yourselves” type. Maybe that has changed now with UT’s success, but that is even more sad if true.
August 5th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
21
Gen. Stoopnagle says:
I don’t know, blon. I kinda like red pants.
August 5th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
22
blon57 says:
#19- I try to block out the Mackie era, like most orangebloods. No one liked the man.
#20- Unfortunately, UT students/fans aren’t always the nicest group of people and yes, there were a lot that would come late (usually after drinking at tailgate parties) and would leave early if the team was behind. Fans were known for booing our own players. Things have changed for the better in the Brown era. Now they just scream at the coach when we lose to Kansas St.
NO. NO RED PANTS.
August 5th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
23
Flatlander says:
Have to say I don’t think Big XII fans as a whole are all that crazy inside the stadium. But I’ve seen flipped cars with Okie plates in Lincoln and had beer bottles thrown at me walking down the street in Boulder. Speaking of, my aunt from Missouri drives AROUND Kansas to get to Colorado. So yeah, there’s a little bit o’ bile built up. Maybe we just show it differently.
August 5th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
24
umrkd495 says:
As someone who grew up in Oklahoma, with Mizzou lovin’ parents, lived in KC during the whole initial ID debate…there are TONS of similarities between the Big XII and the SEC. But even I maintain the SEC has better rivalries. Or maybe the SEC just has a better fan base of non-alumni without teeth…
August 5th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
25
NRBQ says:
Red Sans-A-Belts, baby!
Awesomely comfortable + pure manliness.
August 5th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
26
tf says:
Don’t know where this Cobb County business is, but I’m guessing they didn’t go 12-1 and win the Orange Bowl last year!!! FOOTBAW!!! Whoo!!! FOOTBAW!!! Whoo!!! ROCK CHALK!!! Whoo!!!
#23- We Kansas fans actually take the opposite tact. We try to help out poor Misery as much as possible, because Jeebus, have you been there recently? Nothing but meth, porn shops, and soon to be incarcerated college athletes.
August 5th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
27
Will Collier says:
I remember when the Big XII formed, the word on the street was that UT fans are the “come late, leave early, talk amongst yourselves” type. Maybe that has changed now with UT’s success, but that is even more sad if true.
That was certainly my experience a decade or so back. The only fans that impressed me in all of the old SWC were Texas Tech fans. They traveled to away games (nobody else did, including Texas fans; UT-OU was the exception) and they got loud. Must be something to do with the whole dry county thing…
August 5th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
28
hooverdam says:
I understand your comments about the whole shirtless nation, since you are affiliated with the shirtless, cut-off capital of the world aka Gainesville. But try not to paint the SEC with such a broad brush.
August 5th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
29
okiedomer says:
i’m actually happy about this – one of the worst things about callahan is that he turned the husker fanbase into a bunch of assholes, much like himself, when they’d always been the best fanbase in the big 1+11 – nebraska is the only big 1+11 team that i actually want to be good
as for OU/tx being tame…the last OU/tx game i went to (06), i had a buddy show up badly bruised with a black eye and whatnot b/c he and another buddy, who was in the hospital, got jumped by some horn fans – then my buddy who was in the hospital showed up
August 6th, 2008 at 12:15 am
30
soonertruth says:
“The only fans that impressed me in all of the old SWC were Texas Tech fans. They traveled to away games …”
…and that’s only because ‘happiness is Lubbock, texas in my rear-view mirror’
August 6th, 2008 at 11:52 pm