CURIOUS INDEX, 8/5/2008

We prefer to think of them as an entrepreneurial youth group. Missouri redshirt freshman safety Gilbert Moye has interests including networking with other young urban youth, the color blue, and interpretive hand signal exchange. David Boren just told Bob Stoops to kick him off the team, and wants none of these excuses about him going to another university with an entirely different football team.

SMQ kindly points out to Stoops that no significant members of "the internet culture" called for Josh Jarboe's removal; in fact, prior to the day of Josh Jarboe's dismissal, neither did Stoops. The unsubstantiated but persistent rumor you will hear on the internets culture is that the order came directly from OU President David Boren, which makes sense. You would have to deliberate for days to come up with a response as harebrained and trigger-happy (get it?) as the decision to boot Jarboe; being a former Senator, bad decision-making and nitwit policy flow from him naturally.

(Big ups to Boren for the Boren National Security Language Fellowship, though. Let's not be totally unfair, here...just slightly unfair.)

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS. All-Caps Mike Gundy ENJOYS THE TASTE OF RED BULL. He says he sticks to coffee until around 11 in the morning. We assume "coffee" means "espresso poured directly into eyeball because HE IS MAN 40 ETCETERA RAAAARRRGGH.

Ed Orgeron was the last coach we could remember being an avowed Red Bull drinker. If Gundy loses his job after the season, we'll call it a trend of two: declare love for Red Bull publicly as a coach, and then immediately lose job.

It also explains some things of course. Contrast exhibit A:

"When you combine those two together, you always have a risk," he said. According to Clemens, some major concerns with mixing these two drinks include, but are not limited to, cardiovascular risk, impaired judgment, shortness of breath, dizziness, disorientation and rapid heart beat.

Exhibit B:

It gives you STROOOOOOOOOOOOOKES!!!

Joel, who has a thing for fonts and logos, analyzes both the scariest (eep!) and the blandest of logos. Air Force really deserves better, but our suggestion of a mushroom-cloud font would have only flown through the approval process at the peak of the cold war.

Cocaine is funny except when it isn't. John Reaves, the one-time Gator great, is arrested for cocaine possession, but only after pointing a gun at two men in an altercation. How the hell do you get to 58 being a cocaine addict? Do you have a heart you use only on weekends and a removable septum?

George O'Leary speaks to the Orlando Sentinel for UCF's Media Day. That's so nice of him.

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