STEPHEN AND MATTHEW GET BACK ON THE TEAM

Hee-hee!! You cuss so much! I feel so naughty, just reading all your meaningless, grunting ghetto slang. It’s pure genius! Get this man a Pulitzer! Except, we can call it a FUCKING Pulitzer!! And we can put it in ALL CAPS!!! Then it would be HILARIOUS!!

Brah!!

The Fucking Pulitzer would go to Big Daddy Drew, for the record.

You must be a Tech fan, Sage. Only they can be so humorless…

God Bless the USChikins. Never a dull moment in Cola.

“Entendre is french for penetration.”

Nice…. brah.

A trivial thing
Coach needs a sober QB
Tommy Beecher starts

I PEED a little at this, I think:

I’m caressing your soul right now…WITH MY JUNK!

Wait, is peed cursing? I can’t tell anymore…

Ask Sage that question.

What you don’t find my sarcasm humorous? What’s wrong? You a Tech fan or something? Or is it just that you aren’t impressed by unfunny stupidity? At least we have that in common, right?

For the record, I’m a South Carolina fan and daily reader of this otherwise fine blog. But when you can sense barely-concealed juvenile glee in a conspicuously talented writer, who degrades himself by aping the most ingorant and degraded language as a means of getting cheap laughs from the equally ill-educated, it simply can’t go unremarked upon forever. Since I’ve been tracking the site for several years without a mention, I’d say one critical comment isn’t exactly a sign of total humorlessness on my part. Just good taste and a wistful sense of disappointment in seeing genuine talent so contemptuously wasted.

I don’t think it’s exactly cursing.

As you can see, I’m just angling for a job at EDSBS as a contrarian editor, my life’s one unfulfilled aspiration. Some day, Swindle and company will regret not hiring me on. In the meantime, I’ll just blog-stalk them until the FBI shows up.

In the meantime, I’ll just blog-stalk them until the FBI shows up.

See? Now that’s love.

Were I one of the ill-educated masses not blessed with reading comprehension skills, I’d unremark on the use of 47-word sentences when not necessary. However, I’ll just say that the prior missive is not providing my power animal with the appropriate wind beneath its bejeweled wings to fly higher than the highest treetops, into the shimmering air where only eagles and Gamecocks dare, brah, like every continuing example of SG and TFFM does.

Well soared Mr. Swindle.

In honor of John Mark Stallings, ROLL TIDE!

FMM says “War Cocks”!

Hithertofor my quasi-acrimonious musings in reference to the overly conspicuous variety of obiter dictum that invariably commence upon the review of the musings made public on this said vessel of quasi-juvenile multi-daily essays have been in a tacit form rather than overtly expressed. Yet given the passionate prose affected in such an etiologic manner by Mssr. Swindel’s excogitations am moved to comment in this instance. Invariably though, I find my sentiments expounded upon in a manner of excellence by another whose efforts outstrip mine own powers of humble expression, in this case a singular and incisive observation by Dale Carnegie: “Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do.”

As funny as this is, I think that Florida lost its moral high ground when they “reinstated as a walk-on” the former leader of the AK-Mafia. Just saying.

(O: I will note here, for the record, that you did state your disgust for the addition of the player in question to the current roster. And the statement was for all to see.)

Latin!

Nat’l. Department of Pomposity has just increased the Sesquipedalian Threat Level to “New York Times Book Snob”

Charlestowne, to paraphrase P.J. O’Rourke: we’re not worried about what’s right or wrong re: Garcia, we’re only concerned now about what’s fun.

That’s what the Great Eagle Spirit is telling us, anyway.

“Entendre is french for penetration.”

Nice. Very nice.

i wish i could unread the comments and just pretend like all of them were praise for the use of FMM and trying to take a parrot off a pirate’s shoulder

complaining about the use of foul language is the last refuge of great depression-era ninnies and fans of an irrelevant college football program grasping at straws to deny the painful stagnation of the perpetually mediocre

i think i’m going to have to submit sage’s posts to http://mindofagamecock.blogspot.com/

Sage, you sensed “barely concealed jeuvenile glee?” – the irony of your 47 word “explanation” for your attempt? at sarcasm must elude you (or, my explanation of my sarcasm was itself sarcasm and now we are meta, brah), but in any event (a) Orson rarely if ever attempts to conceal his juvenile glee, and second, you’re gonna be fucking outnumbered on this one.

So the Freek is doing commission work now? You think he could get me sacking Troy Smith like Earl Everett did?

This site sholl is gettin uppity…

to paraphrase a greater sage:

you use your mouth prettier than a french whore….

God bless you, Slim

Hmm, so you picked a Mamba as your snake of choice? How much time did you spend in Africa?

Well said, Sage. This garbage has got to go.

you’re gonna be fucking outnumbered on this one.

I never would have fucking thought otherwise, Ltrain. Not sure what that proves, though. At any rate, Orson knows good and well that nobody will ever love this site like me. Nobody.

Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays.

#20

I like grads (or fans) that have a sense of humor about their own football program. Those of us in Texas have an especially well-developed one.

Especially entertaining comment from the Gamecock blog:
- …Garcia has earned his way back onto campus. He has paid the price and has been given a second chance.
*editor’s note: For those keeping count, this is Garcia’s 4th chance.

29

Sorry, sir, this is the SEC.

Ergo, this is Garcia’s 3rd 2nd chance

#25

When it comes to Mambas, I think it’s more “How much time did you spend at The Lodge and Spa at Cordillera?”

Seems like it would be difficult to parody Garcia and McConoughey without using the f word a few times.

I like grads (or fans) that have a sense of humor about their own football program. Those of us in Texas have an especially well-developed one… and especially when it comes to one of UT’s more infamous grads, McConoughey.

I used to think McConoughey was a moron but I then I saw Donny Deutsche interview him on The Big Idea and he comes across as very articulate, intelligent and very highly driven. Who knew.

#33:

And high as a kite.

Sage, if you can’t handle this tiny bit of innocent ribbing, you wouldn’t last 2 hours as an ND fan. I should think you’d feel honored to have your school garner some sort of acknowledgement here, and not bitch about it.

Godspeed, Stephen. And don’t let the fire extinguishers taunt, brah.

Brilliant!

Only 26 days until I get to watch Pelini’s new defense “entendre” the Western Michigan offense.

#25: Orson likes his Mamba’s like he likes his women, his coffee, and his memory.

@38

Short and black?

hey hey.. funny !

clever “play on words” about the “double entendre”… is Garcia as gullible as this ???

tips for Garcia: “double penetration” is “double penetration” in french.

I will be at the opening Carolina game versus NC State. I hope they’ll let me in with my giant “RAPE THE BULL BY THE HORNS” sign.

#34

With bongos.

How… expected? Cackalacky gets some attention and a Cackalackite gets his panties in a wad. Pull em out dude!

30: cocktail!

37: Will you be playing the Bo Pelini Polka in the background?

#37

Hell yeah brother….. I’ll be there…North-Endzone getting cancer fromt he big board and watching Bo Pelini’s ’shirts knock some poor motherfucker into 2010!

As for the actual essay as it were. It is low comedy like this that make me check this site 5-6 times a fucking day. I swear between this and mr AK a few days ago I have been a happier healthier person!

@43

Yo ho ho! Everybody knows!

There is no quicker way to clear my girlfriend from the room, unless it involves flatulence.

Well played sir. I only wish I had my own personal TFMM… imagine the possibilities.