NO, YOU'RE NOT INTERRUPTING.

by Orson on Jul 30, 2008 2:13 PM EDT

Oh, excuse me. I should have locked the door. No, it's okay. You just caught me working out with my shirt off, that's all. It gets so hot, you know, that I have to take it off or I get the whole thing sweaty. If you're comfortable with it, I'll just keep it off.

You don't mind? I'm pleased to hear that.

I like being comfortable with people. Especially a beautiful lady like yourself. Is that...yes, I think it's Hermès' 24 Faubourg, right? Why, thank you, but it's hard to forget a smell like that...and harder still once you smell it on someone as beautiful as yourself.

Please, don't blush. You shouldn't. You deserve more. That's what I want to talk to you. I know you've been hurt by what studs did to you. I know it, because I probably did it to you, too. I don't want to pressure you, but I can't stop thinking about you. You know, you don't even really have to be my girlfriend, but...I just want to know your name.

We could hang out, hook up, or just chill. I'm not usually this forward, but we're both adults here. I know that you're not used to a man treating you the way you should be treated. Or, if he did, it only happened, say, 7 out of every 12 times it went down. I promise you that, even if there's a rocky start, we can do better than that.

I'm good all by myself, but something's telling me that we could be a force when we're together.

You've got my number. I've got yours. Life's short. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go receive a sports massage. The release it offers my tired muscles is almost unequalled by anything else, except for something a gentleman only shares with the woman he loves, cares for, and holds in his hand like the tiny baby sparrow she is.

Sincerely,

The Georgia Tech defense and Brad Jefferson.

ps. My friend Michael is available, as well. He's a sensitive poet-warrior who requires a firm hand and a soft heart. I have enclosed a picture of him for your friends to examine.

FYI: He likes open mike night at spoken word and watercolors.

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Comments

I know a couple of UVA football players that wouldn’t mind having a dance and drink with these fellas.

by Geaux Irish on Jul 30, 2008 2:16 PM EDT reply actions

Needs more Courvoisier.

by GamecockTony on Jul 30, 2008 2:19 PM EDT reply actions

All 32 ladies at GT will be impressed.

by mb on Jul 30, 2008 2:21 PM EDT reply actions

Needs more Courvoisier.

No, no, it’s not like that. Brad isn’t a playa like that. He’s sober and ready for you when you are.

by Orson Swindle on Jul 30, 2008 2:23 PM EDT reply actions

“sensitive poet-warrior who requires a firm hand and a soft heart” who “likes open mike night at spoken word and watercolors”.

that kills me.

by dogtown gator on Jul 30, 2008 2:23 PM EDT reply actions

When did Flex Wheeler enroll at GT?
Man, these new MuscleTech supplements must really really work.
It has been my experience on the football field, most guys who are built like Tarzan, end up playing like Jane. Except in the case of Notre Dame, built like Jane, play like Jane.

by Mr.Pelican Pants on Jul 30, 2008 2:25 PM EDT reply actions

I’m getting a little concerned with the direction of EDSBS. Seems to be a bit too much fawning over muscular, shirtless football players. Might want to put up a picture of Erin Andrews before your sports blogging rights are revoked.

by Edsall is God on Jul 30, 2008 2:27 PM EDT reply actions

Your friend Michael would like to respectfully challenge Percy Harvin to an Arm-Wrestlin’ match, and pose down.

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Jul 30, 2008 2:27 PM EDT reply actions

Michael’s the one action figure missing from my Masters of the Universe collection.

by Bagger Douche on Jul 30, 2008 2:30 PM EDT reply actions

Yeh, um, Orson, the guys…umm….well shucks, they, uh have been talkin……and we kinda need to balance this out so we voted and we need some action shots of some hot cheerleaders workin out….before things get weird around here….

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Jul 30, 2008 2:40 PM EDT reply actions

And what’s wrong with fawning over muscular, shirtless football players? Equal time, fella. Orson is just making up for the bunda from the past. Thank you, Orson.

Actually one of those came into my gym yesterday to work out. Fall workouts for [name redacted] hasn’t started yet and I guess he needed a place to do whatever it is they do. (Not anything like the weight training I do.) Nice looking kid. He struck up a conversation…and, wow, not much on top. Hopefully he plays for some other university in the general area. All I could think of was, damn, we just won a [title redacted] a couple of years ago. Looks like we are in for a LONG dry spell.

by blon57 on Jul 30, 2008 2:43 PM EDT reply actions

Speaking for the female commenters…we have no problem with EDSBS heading in this direction.

None.

At all.

by zzgator on Jul 30, 2008 2:43 PM EDT reply actions

Pelican Pants – this is our pennance for enjoying 3 months of Cheesecake Fridays.

by Ryno on Jul 30, 2008 2:45 PM EDT reply actions

By the tone of the comments, one would surmise that this is NOT normal behavior in the gym, said the 35 year old eloquent softball player on steroids.

by ethanator1088 on Jul 30, 2008 2:47 PM EDT reply actions

Looks like Paul Johnson has figured out longevity at GT, forget about ACC Titles and beat UGA (note mirror behind Sgt. McFlexalot). O’Leary would still be there if it wasn’t for that pesky resume thing.

by Mitch Cumstein on Jul 30, 2008 2:51 PM EDT reply actions

This is an interesting new marketing ploy by Tech. Your school’s located in Midtown Atlanta? Market it to the gays!!!

by The Gentleman Masher on Jul 30, 2008 2:52 PM EDT reply actions

GA Tech – .500 football team with .900 muscles

by fife in the bay on Jul 30, 2008 3:00 PM EDT reply actions

Orson? Smoove B’s lawyer on Line 1, something about copyright infringement?

by sjs1959 on Jul 30, 2008 3:02 PM EDT reply actions

He will be serving the finest chocolates from China, followed by the most succculent fruits of the Far East. And there will be corn.

by yoyofutbawl on Jul 30, 2008 3:10 PM EDT reply actions

two things:
1) pelican pants lasts less than 30 seconds against former ND “jane” Tom Zbikowski.
2) orson, what’s your click-through rate on the Gay Bear Dating banner?

by bj on Jul 30, 2008 3:19 PM EDT reply actions

Uh, Mitch – re 15 – as I recall, George had left GT when the resume thing came out. He got fired from ND, not GT.

by Fat Charlie the Archangel on Jul 30, 2008 3:20 PM EDT reply actions

How to treat a lady classes courtesy of Joe Hamilton…..

by Last Dragon on Jul 30, 2008 3:20 PM EDT reply actions

#20
Whats even funnier, is that per Wiki, Tom Zbikowski, also is a pro boxer, and his first fight,on June 10, 2006, Zbikowski made his professional boxing debut at Madison Square Garden in New York City, beating his opponent, Robert Bell of Akron, Ohio, by TKO within 49 seconds of the first round. The fight was compliant with NCAA guidelines. Bell, who is an Ohio State fan, wore an Ohio State football jersey into the ring…..doomed from the start..funny nonetheless…

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Jul 30, 2008 3:42 PM EDT reply actions

lo siento poor wording. Replace pesky resume thing with Leaving a 9-4 team to pursue your dream job only to get left without a chair when the music stops once it is discovered that you emblished your resume.

by Mitch Cumstein on Jul 30, 2008 3:55 PM EDT reply actions

Actually, Georgia Tech was 7-5 at the time O’Leary began his pursuit of the Guiness world record for shortest tenure as Notre Dame’s head coach. Obviously you’re not a Tech fan, or you’d be plenty familiar with that number by now.

by Doug on Jul 30, 2008 4:02 PM EDT reply actions

I bet Mikey hadn’t even heard the phrases “anabolic” or “HGH” the last time GT beat the Dawgs.

Is that LaVar Arrington in the first pic?

NEED MORE MINIMALLY CLAD WOMEN.

by ShrunkenPebbles on Jul 30, 2008 4:45 PM EDT reply actions

“pelican pants lasts less than 30 seconds against former ND jane Tom Zbikowski”

in the ring…on the field…in the bedroom????

by gerry dorsey on Jul 30, 2008 5:00 PM EDT reply actions

@27
Yeh, I outran his slow ass in the 40, six different times.
Plus he got mad that I had him confused with
Jeff “Zihad” Zmardzija or any other ND Alphabet-soup for a last name player. They ought to have an All Name Polish, Russian or Czech edition, just for the schools up north. Cheer up ND, Regis still loves you, Danny Boy.

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Jul 30, 2008 6:19 PM EDT reply actions

Michael Johnson is about the only player GT has that is ripped like that. As a team they’re still a bunch of pussies.

by jmonroe35 on Jul 30, 2008 8:12 PM EDT reply actions

After seeing the guy in blue all I can think of is this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgAPFKDL6Sg

by Charles on Jul 30, 2008 11:57 PM EDT reply actions

Hilarious that the little insecure UGA mutt sidewalk fans try and make comments about O’Leary without having a single fact. George left Tech before the resume issue ever came out. He was fired from Notre Dame. What idiots.

Emjoy your 8-9 win season with fattford. UGA – Preseason NCAA Champions 26 years straight!!! lol. Ignorant rednecks. “Hey, I was too stupid to get into UGA, which is extrememly sad, so I went to Valdosta State”. lol. dumbasses.

by Reality Check on Jul 31, 2008 10:17 AM EDT reply actions