FULMER CUP: WVU TAKES THE LEAD, BOGGLES IMAGINATION
Really?Kendall Washington, redshirt freshman, puts West Virginia in a tie for the Fulmer Cup.
CANTON The man told police the masked robber came to his bedroom as he slept, demanded money and jewelry, then shot him twice.
The victim couldn’t see the gunman’s face, but city police have charged former St. Thomas Aquinas High School football star Kendall M. Washington with aggravated robbery and felonious assault. A grand jury now will take a look at the evidence to see if he should stand trial.
Blanket allegedlys all around, but: breaking into someone’s house, stealing things at gunpoint, and then shooting someone in the head in front of their five year-old means large, large points no matter what the charges. Currently, as it stands, Washington’s charged with aggravated burglary and felonious assault. Under FC rules as they stand:
Grand Larceny: 4 points. We use this as a catchall for players being involved in crime so outrageous and well-planned it can only be described as ‘nefarious,’ ‘professional,’ or ‘legislation.’ Applies to large drug rings, chop shop operations, and the Haitian human trafficking ring that’s been run out of the Miami locker room since ‘93. (We kid! They didn’t get that thing humming ’til ‘95 at the earliest.)
Assault doesn’t seem to cover this; nor does generic burglary charges. Therefore, we award four points for each charge, and a bonus point for, well, HOLY HELL IN FRONT OF A FIVE-YEAR OLD CHILD? That’s Killing Joke Joker territory, there.
The total comes to nine points total, a sum which places in WVU in a tie for the lead in the Fulmer Cup. That’s not score manipulation to tie things up and make some excitement in the idle days of late July; if anything, that’s some circumspect scoring for a crime of astonishingly random, nasty cruelty.
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51
GamecockTony says:
@ Pelican Pants 33,
Ok, ok. I’ll agree to chaperone.
July 30th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
52
Pick6bamr says:
The incredible thing is that whenever the word championship comes up on college football discussions some Barner immediately starts screaming about how Bama claims 47 National Championships. Just be proud of the one you have….As they say jealousy is a terrible thing
July 30th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
53
Mike says:
Once they process the WVU kids’ scuffle with the Pittsburgh cops at the Pirates game Monday, it will be all over. WVU, new national champs…
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/news/story?id=3509577
July 30th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
54
dudis41 says:
#53
Mazulla and Thoroghgood play basketball, didn’t think that counted.
July 30th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
55
InsaneCoachPosse says:
I would give anything to hear his “four different versions of I didn’t do it” recorded at the police station
oh the possibilities that come to mind….
“….well, uh,….you see, uh….. it was the Israeli mafia that had a gun to my head….. yeah, they made me do it”
July 30th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
56
SundayGun says:
So Jimmy Johns gets fifteen points for dealing coke but this guy gets nine points for Armed robbery and then shooting the guy twice. WOuld that not be attempted murder and a whole load of points. Seems like someone wants some drama with a late season tie to me.
July 30th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
57
The Snake will Drive Again! says:
Check the records! A month ago I predicted that Bama will collapse in the final few minutes and somehow manage to lose the coveted FCMNC. Shula’s slack ass recruits once again put another L in the column for us. Surprisingly, it wasn’t a team from Louisiana that beat us.
July 30th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
58
Mike says:
Crap….hold the presses…it appears that this kid hasn’t been an active member of the football team since Spring per WVU SID Mike Montoro.
Should he still count for WVU’s score?
July 30th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
59
fife in the bay says:
@41
next is genocide followed by nuclear holocaust. but keep in mind, he’s a “good kid” and his mother “did an awesome job raising him”
July 30th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
60
Terry Tate, Office Linebacker says:
just in the interest of giving everyone a fair shot, are there any larger point values available for really egregious violations such as international terrorism, animal prostitution, espionage, or the like?
I mean, some of our lower teams could really put their shoulder into it and jump up there down the stretch if they didn’t think they had to go through the whole drug cartel or attempted murder pain in the ass…
July 30th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
61
CrimsonCommodore says:
Judging from the comments, tt seems pretty clear that WVU has already won the “people’s championship” in terms of the FC. Lets see those point totals adjusted guys…
July 30th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
62
sevenDs says:
Pick6bamr,
It’s not just us barners, the bammer nation has created the stereotype of claiming mythical championships by listing 12 on thier website, media guide and t-shirts. Once Notre Dame fans saw that, they did their research and exposed the truth to other parts of the country.
Surelt you don’t think any of my people have made your claim a puchline. After all, we’re Auburn, no one listens to us anyway.
Unless we chop block them
July 30th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
63
Tetse Fly says:
Oh h#$% no !!! Come on Bammer you can pull this NC out yet !!!!!
July 30th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
64
Allahver Fist says:
#62
The chop block is the E.F. Hutton of college football.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
65
CrimsonBarrister says:
Barners are right…Bama fans shouldn’t go around proclaiming “Got 12?”…
How about “Got 2?”… would that be better?
July 30th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
66
sevenDs says:
Hey Barrister,
No, that would be lying too. We only have one, from the AP in 1957.
Unless you mean Heisman trophy winners.
Why can’t you be satisfied with the 6?
Of course with no playoff, they’re all mythical, so I guess the 12 is just as realistic as the 6.
July 30th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
67
crimson daddy says:
Apologies if this has been said…..
But how in the heck does Jimmy Johns get 20 points while this waste of flesh gets off with only 9?
And were the points awarded to Alabama for Rashard Johnson’s arrest taken off since the charges were dropped?
July 30th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
68
David Puddy says:
I’ve driven past Washington’s old high school in Canton, and also driven past the county jail where he’s currently being held. Good ol’ Northeast Ohio, business as usual. And on top of it, he was recruited to my Alma Mater. Double whammy for this Youngstown native and WVU guy.
July 30th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
69
PeterPumpkinhead says:
Ok, the tiebreaker thing is cute, and if he had resisted arrest after getting wasted, smashing up a car, and burning a couch, I’d think it was the cleverest idea I had heard all week.
HE SHOT A GUY. IN THE FACE. TWICE. IN FRONT OF A 5 YEAR OLD.
I’m not even sure anything this violent should get cup points… that it should be involved at all. What if the guy dies?
I’m seriously beginning to wonder if the Fulmer Cup has outlived its usefullness… I mean, if this is the kind of stuff we’re going to have to keep track of, it’s not really funny anymore.
July 30th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
70
PeterPumpkinhead says:
SevenDs,
First of all, it’s 7 if we’re going with AP/UPI. Second, there was no AP in 1926 when Bama went undefeated, traveled by train across country, and defeated an undefeated Washington (this is way back before Ty… this is the era Washington is talking about when they talk about “Tradition”) team in the Rose Bowl. Several well respected polls crowned them then. So that’s 8.
I can go on, but the reasonable number is probably 10… and I wouldn’t rely on getting my MNC data from a school that tries to claim 18 of them.
July 30th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
71
PrestonCo says:
OK, something seems weird here….He shot somebody in the head…..but the article didn’t even mention the victims condition and Washington was only charged with assault…..instead of attempted murder. I don’t get it.
July 30th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
72
Jeff says:
FYI guys…At the end of the spring semester, Coach Stewart told Washington that his scholarship would not be available for this year. When Coach Stew said he was going to “recruit men with character, not characters”, he meant it. Over the last couple of months, he’s let a couple guys go, who haven’t gotten in trouble yet, in order to clean up some of the behaviors with some of the recruits that Rodriquez took a chance on.
It was also quoted on MSNsportsnet that Washington has not been a student of WVU or member of it’s football team since the end of the spring semester.
I’m sure this will get cleared up, and the points will be appropriately deducted.
July 30th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
73
Michael says:
I’m no bammer fan, but this guy makes Jimmy Johns look like citizen of the year.
July 30th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
74
Uh-huh says:
Good news, Bammers!
Washington was dismissed from the team 10 weeks before this incident occurred.
Roll Tide!
July 31st, 2008 at 12:21 am
75
UPSDawg says:
Clint Boling’s DUI charges were dropped today…will adjustments be made to UGA’s point total for that, as well as Jeremy Lomax’s weapons charge being dropped? Thanks just the same, but this is a championship I DON’T want the Dawgs contending for…
July 31st, 2008 at 8:07 am
76
Nic says:
Don’t expect the fact that the charges are dropped to change the point total. If that were true, then points would have been taken from Bama’s score when Rashad Johnson’s disorderly conduct charges were dropped.
July 31st, 2008 at 9:11 am
77
Cz says:
This guy isn’t even a Mountaineer.
“He is no longer part of the team and has not been since May,” WVU Director of Football Communications Mike Montoro said Wednesday.
http://www.dailymail.com/Sports/WVUSports/200807310101
July 31st, 2008 at 10:22 am
78
hobeg8r says:
#77 – I did pull up the 2008 WVU football roster (updated 7/15/2008) – before Washington was arrested – and I agree – he is NOT on the roster. I guess we need a ruling on this as to whether or not the points should be assessed to WV.
July 31st, 2008 at 10:36 am
79
Ron says:
More details about the whole “Washington isn’t on the WVU team” thing can be found here: http://www.timeswv.com/wvu_sports/local_story_213002244.html.
This is like having the game-winning (or is that game-losing?) hail mary called back for holding. I assume the points will be adjusted today?
July 31st, 2008 at 10:38 am
80
ALEXIS says:
HES INNOCENT!
August 13th, 2008 at 1:47 pm