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FULMER CUPDATE: SPRINTING TO THE END

This week's extremely lively Fulmer Cupdate is brought to you by Brian, who is hung like Reggie F'n Nelson and just as fast with the returns for scores. Clarifications, corrections, and gross errors follow.

Arkansas bumps up four for their DUI charge for Marques Wade this weekend, a reminder that if you are going to drive drunk, be sure not to break serveral standing rules on top of the basic law you're already breaking, e.g. being tanked, underage, and almost hitting a cop. It's one thing to rob a bank; it's another to do it while double-parked and driving on expired tags while smoking indoors, sir.

Oregon picks up two points for linebacker Kevin Garrett's DUI this past weekend. "There was resistance," said a local policeman regarding the arrest, but after the B-52s were called in and little bit of cleanup work followed from the Predator drones, Garrett simmered down and went along with it. imagine, recruit: your personalized comic book could include a testy DUI!

Mizzou receives a correction for one point left off of their tally for Jeremy Burge leaving the scene of an accident after hitting a mailbox. Don't ever, ever cross the USPS. They will find you, son. They will. And when they do...you will wait in line as one cashier works and three others fiddle with their autoscales. Welcome to hell, Jeremy Burge. You should think about this next time you try to run over an innocent mailbox.

Kentucky picks up one point for their third-string qb getting into a fight outside of a Lexington restaurant. Following the arrest of qb Curtis Pulley this past weekend, Kentucky's only recent arrest-free qb, Brian Mike Hartline, got baked, put in an old copy of Interstella 5555 and ate an entire quart of ice cream just because he could. I'm not in jail, right? Captain Starter's having a little in-house oven action, okay? Ssshhhhhh. This is my favorite part. The part with the guitar ship. YEahhhh NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

South Carolina has one point go up in smoke due to the dismissal of simple marijuana possession charges against Dion Lecorn. What do you mean, 'Where's the weed?' (Cough cough cough cough...)

This is Alabama's to lose. Mizzou and West Virginia are both right there, but Jimmy Johns, touted as a championship-caliber player coming into Bama, may have proved to be just that--albeit, in ways they never could have expected.

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Comments

Display:

Much like our seasons of late, I fear that we will have a late FC swoon, snatching defeat from the certain jaws of victory.

by Der Schatten on Jul 29, 2008 12:45 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Does anyone know the highest number of points ever awarded to a school in the Fulmer Cup?

by blon57 on Jul 29, 2008 12:49 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

And are they keep a running total of the most schools to win the Fulmer Cup, like Alabamans 300+ NCs?

by blon57 on Jul 29, 2008 12:52 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Blon57

While I don’t have the figures off the top of my head, Ellis T Jones III, who has the award for individual achievement in the field of felonies and misdemeanors, had more points HIMSELF than Alabama does so far. However, I recall the Tide doing well in previous years only to come up short. Illinois won last year if I recall and was a favorite this year, only to disappoint. PSU was up high last year also, but again, another Big 10 pretender. SEC schools have usually been steady, probably lead all conferences. Big 12 has done well also, may be closer than I think.

by Crabapple Buck on Jul 29, 2008 1:06 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

The battle for third bears watching. I’d like to see Va throw a monkey wrench in the works with a white collar crime. Maybe the third string guard pulls an embezzlement charge while working a co-op job in the athletic department.

by OhioDawg on Jul 29, 2008 1:11 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

blon,

http://www.sportsargumentwiki.com/index.php?title=Fulmer_Cup

For all your Fulmer Cup needs. Includes links to past champions and all time point totals.

by CincySooner on Jul 29, 2008 1:12 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

CincySooner,
Thanks. :-)

by blon57 on Jul 29, 2008 1:17 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Oregon PD should be flagged – 15 yd penalty for piling on. 2 misdemeanors AND 5 citations. I guess he must have pissed them off.

by hobeg8r on Jul 29, 2008 1:18 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Orson,
I think Kentucky’s backup is named Mike Hartline, brother of WR, Brian Hartline, who for a WR, has no business making plays like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JiSSlyWy70

by TAFKastOSUB on Jul 29, 2008 1:21 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

I’m not jumping on the Alabama bandwagon just yet. Saban’s only doing it with Shula’s recruits.

by Doug on Jul 29, 2008 1:31 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

#10
Doug for the win.

by CapstoneAlum on Jul 29, 2008 1:34 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

WVU ain’t done yet!!!!!!!!!!http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/news/story?id=3509577

by PROTHRO'S GOOD LEG on Jul 29, 2008 1:40 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Sorry thought there was a football player with them. Disregard #12 Damn it!

by PROTHRO'S GOOD LEG on Jul 29, 2008 1:42 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Not only did LeCorn test negative for marijuana. The “marijuana” the cops confiscated tested negative for marijuana. Cayce’s Finest at work!

by mattain on Jul 29, 2008 1:48 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Come on Mizzou, you guys need one last party before fall camp starts. Dig deep, Tigers !

by BamaCPA on Jul 29, 2008 2:10 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

@ HJS

Ahhh, but like the Hat, it’s what he does with those players. I’d say right now (pre- Strip ban), we’ve mastered FnDC, armed robbery, blow. This ain’t your “getting drunk almost sliding into a cop with 2000 pounds of steel” coaching…this is CHAMPIONSHIP coaching, baby!

Whoot! Get that statue ready for the Walk of Champions

by Der Schatten on Jul 29, 2008 2:23 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

oh oh oh. UVA players arrested for stealing beer from a cooler at a gay bar. so cavalier of them!

http://www.towleroad.com/2008/07/uva-football-pl.html

by adam on Jul 29, 2008 3:47 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Why are the comments in layers of 10 now? It sucked bad enough when it was 25.

by Last Dragon on Jul 29, 2008 3:59 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

The Hogs will not go down without a fight. Being reported in Arkansas that DL Ernest Mitchell was pulled over by a state trooper with dope, a bong, and a gun.

But, in his defense, he was pulled over in Forest City so the gun was pretty much a must have.

Woooo Pig Sooooieee!!

by Rick Shaeffer's Stylist on Jul 29, 2008 4:21 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Word, Rick Schaefer’s Stylist. Things are already looking better without Nutt. We haven’t finished aything this strong in years. Since the national media is jumping on Petrino for leaving Louisville with discipline problems, I wonder if they will say the same about Nutt now. I keed, I keed. Criticizing the Nutt clan is impossible when every question is aswered, “My brother has the cancer. You can’t be mean to us.”

by Hootie's Man Boob. on Jul 29, 2008 4:40 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

@18 – I agree, it’s annoying. My guess is that it’s to generate more clicks for Swindle Industries.

by Brian O'Blivion on Jul 29, 2008 4:59 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

#21: I suspect you’re right. At first I thought it might reduce the server load, but since people are typically going to view a large percentage of the comments it probably makes it worse instead (at least for new, active articles – older ones that are picking up a couple comments a day, tops, it might be slightly more efficient).

by SpartanDan on Jul 29, 2008 5:25 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Hootie’s Man Boob, it’s a bleeding brain, not cancer. And it only flares up in times of trouble. Like when it is discovered that the hard drive of your computer may be used to prove that you and the bull dyke friend your family runs around with collaborated to send your 8-0 Parade All American QB a hate filled email urging him to transfer because he hurt the head coaches feelings by calling him a dork while said QB was in high school. By the way, Mustain called the nuttless wonder a dork after hearing the infamous “That was a called play and I called it!!!” interview, which was later proven to be yet another lie as Casey Dick and Marcus Monk both confirmed that they play was an audible at the line.

by Rick Shaeffer's Stylist on Jul 29, 2008 5:47 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

I completely missed it. How did Alabama sprint to the lead like that?

by Mark on Jul 30, 2008 11:20 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

GEORGIA’S TOTAL SHOULD BE REDUCED! Clint Boling’s DUI was reduced to a misdemeanor reckless driving (he never took a breathalyzer and was not proven drunk) and Sturdivant and Anderson’s battery charges for touching a pregnant chick’s stomach were settled and dropped completely. The possession of weapons charges on another player were dropped too. So the UGA total should reflect only Michael Lemon (kicked off team for fighting) the misdeameanor driving charge and two underage drinkers. That can’t possibly put them in 8th place can it?

by Chris Kennedy on Jul 31, 2008 10:58 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

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