Comments on: GO CURE CANCER. GO DRINK A CAR BOMB.

By: J

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 04:28:39 +0000

Was that the Sledgehammer part in the student ghetto around ‘94? That was excellent, though I remember some skinheads (I think) causing a few problems at one point, and the bus nearly overturning onto people trying to tip it over. Damn, I miss the student ghetto.

By: secFTW

secFTW — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 03:27:40 +0000

Mons Venus…. enough said

By: Barnyardian

Barnyardian — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 02:58:23 +0000

Well. Florida has always been a great school. Although, I think they are overlooking South Carolina. Wait… we are not allowed to party. My bad. http://www.barnyardian.com

By: Lindsay

Lindsay — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 00:32:48 +0000

Freshman girl. Tequila shots. Drunk bus. Pole.
That was me you saw spinning around in circles on the pole going “wheeee…”

By: Al-D

Al-D — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 00:29:05 +0000

oh and how could i forget, going to FSU the year the zooker beat bobby on bobby bowden field night, talking more shit then i have in my life, cutting through indian village and having a small crowd of fratish fsu guys start to gang up on 3 friends and i, my boy who played DT for FAMU coming out of his apartment outrageously hammered and fading the first guy to talk shit, quickly ending things before they escalated

By: Al-D

Al-D — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 22:33:59 +0000

-getting arrested at the band shell for smoking out last day of freshmen year
-living at a huge house nicknamed the porno palace due to abundance of naked chicks always in pool, and 70s style shag carpet
-having huge party after ‘05 tenn/fla game where random guy shows up to bitch at his ex-girlfriend and start shit, having your roommate knock him the fuck out, only to awaken 5 minutes later, stumble away and proceed to slash 35ish cars tires parked on street on way out, having the cops called about it, being told “you guys are having a bitching party, surprised we hadnt been called about it” by alachua county sheriffs deputy
-getting evicted from said house after 4 months
-all four roommates withdrawing from same semester due to all failing grades
driving from jacksonville to savannah for st patty’s day on a saturday when gators were playing in ncaa tourney on friday and sunday, last thing i remember is being down by the river in savannah, waking up to my granddad (was staying at his house in jax) beating on my window at 630am saying he’s been knocking for at least 5 minutes and thought i was dead along with my gf passed out next to me,
-going the next week to minneapolis for second round of ncaa tourney, get a bottle of jack at a random club which friend blake and i polish off with a couple of chicks in vip, blow all our money and have to walk 20+ blocks back to our hotel at 3am in 10 degree weather, attempt to get into the room one floor below ours for 10 mins repeatedly telling people to get out of my room before being escorted to my room by hotel security, blake passing out in the bathroom between the door and the toilet where i couldnt get in, so decide to piss in the hallway instead. get billed by hotel because my “incident” was on the security camera, all resulting in resulting in me getting viciously ill and having fever and chills and nearly blacking out during fla-georgetown game the next day.

By: tvr'11

tvr'11 — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 21:48:07 +0000

Have sex on the grass in front of the six pack after being forced to drink insane amounts of everclear punch at frat house…check

Wake up next morning and notice that text books r wet and I am naked…
Next walk to my laundry basket with fresh laundry from the day befor and notice that its all wet…get suspicious…
Go to desk to get ipod and notice that everything in my drawer is in about a half inch of liquid…
Throw away water bottle and notice that in my dorm room trash can there is about an inch of water…
Realize my entire room smells like piss and that for whatever reason I went on a sleep peeing rampage and ruined half of my fucking room…CHECK

By: Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive

Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 21:31:04 +0000

jumping onto the field after unranked AU beat #1 UF with last second field goal, parading around with players and coaches, getting on ESPN about half a dozen times, carrying the goal-posts around the stadium, getting thrown off a wall by cops and then maced for “resisting”, then drug through the hedges and across the field amongst chants of “Rodney King! Rodney King!”, then placed in holding cell under stadium while parents call me to tell me they saw me getting arrested on SportsCenter. Had to go to hospital to get 7cm long piece of hedge limb removed from calf muscle and then 6 staples and 11 stitches.
Everyoone else arrested (that didn’t hit a cop) got off with youthful offender and community service and a fine, but i was on tape as the first one on the field (with 3 seconds left in game), so they pin me with inciting a riot charge. Community service was to clean the stadium at 6am the morning after the iron Bowl. I didn’t feel like participating, so I went to WalMart on the way (hammered), and bought a arm sling, and a football and a sharpie- got all other arrestees and cops to sign football for posterity.
oh, and this was only after hitting spurrier in the head with a Jack Daniels miniature at halftime.

not the most wild thing i did in my 7 seasons at Auburn, but definitely one of my favorite memories ever.

screw you, florida.
War Dame Eagle.

By: Baron

Baron — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 21:10:19 +0000

Day-long, full-on black-out? Check.
Threw full cup of beer at Chief of Medicine Spin Doctor, from floor of O’Connell center, before a Pauly Shore show? Check.
Pissed on a pile of feces pooped on the band shell stage? Check.
Fired several water balloons at the volleyball tourney from Graham window? Check.
Severely beaten for the effort? Check.
Puked entire gallon of water and four aspirin onto third floor hallway Graham, used same for slip’n’slide? Check.
Flunked out after one semester? Hell yea-uuhh, bitches!

By: Timugen

Timugen — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 19:40:53 +0000

Showing up so cockeyed plastered to your Differential Equations final that you sit down and realize that you need to have your frat brother write your name on your exam booklet because you can’t? Check

Turning in an exam booklet that probably still has some poor TA feeling violated to this very day? Check

By: WarCardinals

WarCardinals — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 18:36:56 +0000

“You know you’re too drunk to drive when you get into your car to drive home, and you realize you are home.”

By: IceVol21

IceVol21 — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 18:08:30 +0000

Shooting Roman Candles and other articles of fiery goodness onto Cumberland Avenue from Clement Hall after a UT game-Check.

Use Krazy Glue to attach drunk roommate’s boxers to his skin after puking from his bed-Check

Hitting same roommate in the head with a 3 iron after he punches you later that morning while you are trying to sleep off your own drunk coma-Check

Telling RA that “I couldn’t reach the 3-wood” as an explanation for said behavior above-Check

Projectile vomiting on row in front of you at the 1990 Auburn-UT game after drinking 20 PBR’s before the game and deciding to take a three finger pinch of Copenhagen to settle your stomach. Check.

Telling people in row that you vomited on that it was OK, because its raining and the rain will wash it away. Check.

Showing up for fall commencement still hammered with an 18 inch Christmas tree on your mortarboard-Check.

Whipping your broken hockey stick into a crowd of asshole UK fans at a UK-UT Hockey game in Lexington and nearly starting a riot. Check.

Passing out in a sauna at a random hotel in Pigeon Forge and being woken up by a maid with no idea how you got there. Check. Getting smacked in the face by same maid after thanking her for waking you up and asking her if there was any chance for a rub and a tug. Double Check.

By: Brian O'Blivion

Brian O'Blivion — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 16:41:50 +0000

Playing ‘Bet Your Liver’ while wearing nothing but Depends undergarments and pissing yourself? check.

Running fullspeed into large bovines behind Greenwich Green, for fun? check.

Pissing in your neighbor’s dryer, as he arrives home, and then throwing his clothes (whites!) in it and turning on the dryer to cover your tracks while climbing out the back window? check.

Smoking out at the cave, in complete darkness, somewhere outside of Gainesville and then jumping off of the fucking cliff at that sinkhole? check.

Smashing pumpkins after Halloween by tossing them off of Beatty tower? check. Laughing at screaming student who was sprayed with pumpkin explosion? Check.

Getting a blowjob in an alley at Mardi Gras for beads (for beads! Mardi Gras is an alternate reality). check. Passing out on the floor of a Circle K later that night? check.

By: Bucking Drunk

Bucking Drunk — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 16:33:38 +0000

-Drinking in Boulder with 5 people off a full keg until sunrise, walking home, hopping in my car to get mcdonald’s breakfast only to be 50 cents short on a $2.70 egg mcmuffin meal (this is before mcd’s took credit cards), having the drive thru lady give me the meal anyways, and then waking up at 1:30 pm and having to check my living room to make sure it really happened, check.

-Waking up drunk and confused on my Korean neighbor’s couch, they would not stop yelling, affirmativo.

-Getting blacked out at my buddy’s house, walking home, and driving my car 1/4 mile to my girlfriend’s house, only to wake up with her asking me if I drove, to which I replied, “I dunno, is my car outside”?

-Black out drunk, pissing all over said exgirlfriend’s backpack, complete with her semester textbooks, claiming it was water.

-Two weeks later, pissing all over her room at 3 am, again. This time she woke up while I was doing it, thus ruining my lie, check.

-Living in a floor at CU-Boulder whose entire male wing of 20 people compiled an estimated 5 bongs, 2 steamrollers, and probably 15 pieces, check.

-Said floor having stoners who spent enough time to create an air seal in their room composed of cardboard boxes, duct tape and box fans, check.

By: Timugen

Timugen — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 16:28:09 +0000

Throwing a 2ft tall sidewalk ashtray through my car window after leaving the bar because we were “locked out” of the car…..

just to get in and sit down in the driver’s seat and pull the keys out of my pocket to start the car, thinking nothing of it.

Then driving friends back to their dorm and pissing on the RA’s door (oops, he was actually still awake.)

And a little bit later launching aforementioned ashtray from a 5th floor window into the parking lot so I could customize someone else’s car much like we had done mine.