Go sleep with someone you don’t know. Go urinate in a public place. Go get a three-day hangover. Go stain a futon in a shocking way. Go shit your pants in a crowded bar and refuse to admit it, thus earning the name “Mr. Poopy Pants” for the remainder of your college career. Go purchase a bottle of 151, consume a third of it while playing NCAA 2009, and then challenge a lamppost to a fight.

Go be the number one party school in the nation, Florida.


Seconds later the camera was covered in a stream of projectile vomit.

On our own despicable checklist of things done in the name of a Florida undergraduate degree:

–Sleeping with an anthropology major? Check.
–Vomiting up three bottles of Boone’s Farm? across every square inch of a dorm bathroom? Check.
–Waking up naked on the floor of a communal shower? Check.
–Waking up naked on the floor of a communal shower multiple times? Check.
–Walking around on the ledge of a fourth-story dorm? Check.
–Drunkenly coming to in an apartment where people are huffing freon? Check.
–Urinating “in a secluded corner” that, after careful examination, was “in a secluded corner in front of fifty people?” Check.
–Taking a sledgehammer to a VW van as part of a “Sledgehammer Party?” Check.
–Vomiting a stain into carpet that steam-cleaning couldn’t budge? Check.
–Drunkenly deciding to “drive to Miami WOOOOO!!!!” at 2 a.m.? Check.

We like sharing, so leave your own tender resumes of wasted youth/liver capacity in the comments.