TWO TALES OF NUTT

by Orson on Jul 25, 2008 10:11 AM EDT

And I like to WIN.

Houston Nutt story number one. Please read all of these in a voice triangulated somewhere between Bill Clinton and George Bush's, and remember that for proper effect you should point and attempt to spellbind someone while doing it.

Tale One:

Houston Nutt is speaking to an assembled group of Ole Miss boosters. Someone mentions Enrique Davis, the late switcheroo commit from Auburn who opted for the Rebels late this year. Nutt answers thusly.

You know what I like about Enrickey?

(LONG DRAMATIC PAUSE. SPELLBINDING STARE. THUMB FIST POINT.)

He's FAST.

Tale Two:

Nutt is at his first major meeting with Ole Miss types. He's relating a story about his upbringing hanging out with deaf kids. (Nutt Sr. was a coach at the Arkansas School for the Deaf.) No one's really sure where this whole thing is going.

When I was a kid, I'd go out and play with the other kids, who were deaf. There was an African American on that field, a Hispanic on the field, a Native American on the field...it didn't matter what you were or who you were, just as long as you could sign and communicate.

(LONG DRAMATIC PAUSE. SPELLBINDING STARE. THUMB FIST POINT.)

...And I like to WIN! (APPLAUSE.)

The N in Nutt officially stands for "Non Sequitur."

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Comments

if coaches were pro wrestlers, Houston Nutt playing himself would be the perfect gimmick

by beckett on Jul 25, 2008 10:22 AM EDT reply actions

What? It made perfect sense to me.

by RaginCajunRebel on Jul 25, 2008 10:37 AM EDT reply actions

Maybe it was the weed, but watching his interview on ESPNU yesterday was high comedy. Now, if he was still spewing that same bullshit as the head coach of my Hogs, I would not find it so amusing and I would have had to move on the heavier drugs to get through it.

One thing we definitely know for sure about Nutt after yesterday………he loves bowls!

Hell, he won 2 of them at Arkansas!!! Woo Pig Sooiee!

by Rick Shaeffer's Stylist on Jul 25, 2008 10:37 AM EDT reply actions

Thank God Nutt is still in the SEC. There is enough material from him for a post a day minimum. This is the one guy where satire is not needed, but when there is a sendup it needs to be noted in bold to distinguish it from reality.

by Crabapple Buck on Jul 25, 2008 10:38 AM EDT reply actions

i don’t know why i find this guy so damn funny.
i mean, just clicking the “crazier than a sack of weasels” is sure to make me almost fall out of my chair.

funniest.
head coach.
eva.

/muted clap

by dawgaddict on Jul 25, 2008 10:47 AM EDT reply actions

I’m still not sure if he knows Davis’ first name is “Enrique” or if that’s actually how it’s pronounced. I’ve seriously even started calling him “Enricky” in a completely non-satirical manner.

by TheGhostofJayCutler on Jul 25, 2008 10:53 AM EDT reply actions

(LONG DRAMATIC PAUSE. SPELLBINDING STARE. THUMB FIST POINT.)

Is Powe kwallifyed?

by Allahver Fist on Jul 25, 2008 11:06 AM EDT reply actions

giggidy.

by Ltrain on Jul 25, 2008 11:20 AM EDT reply actions

Y’all have got to remember who the Rebs have been dealing with the last few years. Compared to Coach O, may he rest in peace, Nutt seems downright sane.

Also, it’s Ole Miss. The school for whom Foghorn Leghorn is the model of elocution.

by The Tusk on Jul 25, 2008 11:22 AM EDT reply actions

(LONG DRAMATIC PAUSE. SPELLBINDING STARE. THUMB FIST POINT.)

You gonna eat that sammich?

by decemberist on Jul 25, 2008 11:25 AM EDT reply actions

I say thar, if The Tusk don’t stop talking so much he’ll get his tongue sun burned. That boy’s as strong as an ox, and just about as smart.

by Bagger Douche on Jul 25, 2008 11:29 AM EDT reply actions

yes! he’s back, baby!

by fife in the bay on Jul 25, 2008 11:34 AM EDT reply actions

U-Dub Threadjack:

http://www.thenewstribune.com/sports/story/423327.html

Willingham on the board with one recruit. He says recruits are waiting to see if he’ll have a job next year. Gee, ya think?

/threadjack

by Geaux Irish on Jul 25, 2008 11:47 AM EDT reply actions

(LONG DRAMATIC PAUSE. SPELLBINDING STARE. THUMB FIST POINT.)

That JEEE-VAN Snead kid’s gonna be the second coming of Matt Jones. Only slower. And without the wacky weed.

and in other news it seems Matt Stafford is just dreamy: http://www.dawgsports.com/2008/7/25/579015/if-you-read-nothing-else-a

by Badcaseofthegiggities on Jul 25, 2008 11:50 AM EDT reply actions

and he really really loves bowls, he’s a bowl man.

by alextupelo on Jul 25, 2008 11:57 AM EDT reply actions

14, just wow, Stafford is dreamy, but I liked his floppy highschool hair doo much better than the freshman buzz cut. This shit really writes itself sometimes. Big HT: Life

by skinnyphatman on Jul 25, 2008 12:07 PM EDT reply actions

Houston Nutt is all we have left.
The unintentional comedy in the NCAA as we knew it:

Coach O-RIP
Marquis Slocum-RIP
Jimmy Johns-RIP
Vanderbilt Football-RIP
tOSU after USC-RIP

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Jul 25, 2008 2:08 PM EDT reply actions

Hopefully we’ll see a revival of Las Chronicas De La Boss Hawg (Rebel) coming to an internets near you real soon.

Oh, how I miss them.

Gyewt, gyewt, gyewt.

by fresh on Jul 25, 2008 2:29 PM EDT reply actions

Maybe this was the Nutt that Jesse Jackson wanted to cut off…

by I R A Darth Aggie on Jul 25, 2008 3:29 PM EDT reply actions

Thar’s bound to be a cutie workin at the Tupelo Teevee station.

by yoyofutbawl on Jul 25, 2008 4:05 PM EDT reply actions

I would like to see Will Ferrell do Houston Nutt.

by Knowshon on Jul 25, 2008 4:23 PM EDT reply actions

Jeven Sneed is a ball guy, NOT A RAH RAH GUY… but a doer… love his work ethic, his attitude – has some escapability. I’m excited about it! half head bang smile and wink

by ALGator on Jul 25, 2008 4:37 PM EDT reply actions