“URBAN LOOKS FOR PAYBACK AGAINST UGA” (THREE MONTHS FROM NOW, BUT WE’RE ALL DEMONSTRABLY RUNNING OUT OF MATERIAL)
Dear readers, imagine the carnage in a world where the gentlemen of Fire Joe Morgan had a subscription to the AJC. Georgia’s See & Say of journalism helpfully provides a sidebar blurb reading, “What’s on this page ? The entry titled “Urban looks for payback against UGA,” and any of the comments about it”.
Furman Bisher says, “Baaa.”
Hand-holding for the columnist or the readership? Decide for yourselves. Today, Mark Bradley, paid sports journalist, in the space of about 200 words, resorts to the following:
1. “Crocodile tears from a Gator.” OMG URBAN MEYER HAS A POINTY SNOUT NOT A ROUNDED ONE THAT’S HOW WE KNOW HE’S NOT A CROCODILE!!!1
2. Making the “Urban Crier” joke, acknowledged in the SAME SENTENCE to have originated in 2005.
3. Pointing out that Urban Meyer was named for a pope. In case you haven’t heard. Once or twice. A year. For as long as he’s been coaching. Bradley’s thoughts on the Council of Piacenza were not made available.
It’s message-board saber-rattling at its most pedestrian, and its author was paid to act awfully petulant for a presumed fan of the very team that’s presumed by many to have the upper hand in the SEC East this fall. Swindle retorts, in verse:
Circuit boards and LEDs,
The innards of a Gobot
Bland quotes and zero aim to please,
Urban Meyer is a robot.But scrolling down to the nearly 400 comments below reveals that, loathe it though we may (AND WE DO), the AJC is the paper we deserve:
By steve
July 24, 2008 9:07 AM
I heard Urban is not circumsized maybe teeblow can help him out!!!By Bill
July 24, 2008 9:23 AM
ACC? They play football in the ACC?By Nick
July 24, 2008 9:41 AM
Mark. You are a douche. A homer and a douche.
Homer + douche = youBy warhorse
July 24, 2008 10:22 AM
Mark Richt, on the other hand, is just like Jimmy Swaggart, except he does not have the enjoyment of sex, alchohol, and an actual personality.By Jim Donnan
July 24, 2008 11:39 AM
FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE!They’re a broken caps lock key away from Lord of the Flies or FanHouse (hard to say which) in there. UTEP at Buffalo can’t get here fast enough.
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1
SLaird22 says:
Those aren’t bad at all for that paper. The AJC comments section is always one of the preeminent lightning rods for idiotic thought.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
2
Holly says:
They’re fucking Paradise Lost compared to AOL/Yahoo!’s, don’t get me wrong.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
3
PW says:
remember when dumb people didn’t know about the internets?
thanks a lot, myspace.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
4
The Legacyx4 says:
Urban has every right to still be pissed off. Georgia did something totally unsportsmanlike and and it shifted the momentum over and they won the game. I’d be bitter too if I was him. As a Tech fan though, I have 7 years of bitterness still brewing in me.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
5
Holly says:
C’mon, this is Urban Meyer we’re talking about here. You’re saying gamesmanship is beneath him? That end zone stunt turned my admiration of Richt up to 11, and I despise him and his team on any given day.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
6
Darkknight says:
Making this about the AJC comments section instead of the issue at hand is about as easy as Bradley’s chumming the water for morons.
Why not address Urban’s use of third person and how he and the Gators had 3 1/2 quarters to “Handle it” DURING the game?
After his performance at SEC media days, Meyer has become even more of a d-bag in my eyes, which I didn’t think possible.
Compare his comments with the classy response from his star player (who is half his age)
July 24th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
7
OrangeRedBlueBlack says:
For a happy-go-lucky glance into the now-publicly-repressed racism and uncontrollable ids of the AJC readership, just take a look at the comments below anything Terence Moore farts out on a word processor. None of this would happen if you were required to include a picture of yourself and your home address in your posts. This is what happens when you clamor for John Ashcroft’s dismissal, people. DAMN your shortsightedness!
That said, OMFG TERENCE MOORE IS A RETARD KTHXBAI!!!1
July 24th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
8
Doug says:
If we could find a way to convert stupid into biofuel, the AJC comments threads alone could get us energy independent inside of two years.
That said, I’d be lying if I said I’d never waded voluntarily into that particular fever swamp on occasion.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
9
Texas_Dawg says:
It’s Mark Bradley.
End of story.
Regarding Meyer vowing to get even this year… umm, Urban, you had 53 minutes to do that last year. What was stopping you?
July 24th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
10
Biggus Rickus says:
I’ve seen worse. From Bradley and the commenters.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
11
OrangeRedBlueBlack says:
And @ 6, precisely, TimmyBoy handled it like his coach should have.
And remember, the story is that Richt wanted 11 players to celebrate, not 60. College kids = excitable.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
12
Holly says:
Why not address Urban’s use of third person and how he and the Gators had 3 1/2 quarters to “Handle it” DURING the game?
Now, don’t go painting me as being on Meyer’s side, either. I’m as neutral as it gets around here (in that I want both teams to be equally swallowed up by the earth).
July 24th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
13
bobby says:
oh well…Urban’s bitter..who cares…I’m still bitter Spurrier was throwing bombs late in the 4th qtr up 30+pts in Athens. Georgia’s celebration didnt win the game, the players won it and the UF defense was awful last season. Besides Omar Hunter and Hill coming in…not sure how much improvement will be there. UF can score…no doubt about that, can they defend? All I can say is that I hope both teams are undefeated come Nov 1st.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
14
PW says:
6 & 9
re: why Urban didn’t “do something” in the remaining 53 minutes.
Ummm, I don’t know if you noticed, but Georgia was really good last year.
But seriously, why shouldn’t Urban use this as fuel to pump his team up this year? I doubt he lost any sleep over the celebration, but why leave a gift of a motivational tool just sitting there?
July 24th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
15
Brian says:
FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE!
July 24th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
16
rjsplow says:
Darkknight:
I’m feeling a little cognitive dissonance right now, seeing as you question the class if an individual in the same post where you accuse that aforementioned individual of existing in a manner akin to a vaginal hygiene device. Classy, indeed.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
17
Brandon Cox's Vagina says:
He cried because I slimed all over him.
Twice.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
18
Ryno says:
I thought Crocs were identified by their teeth.
Crocodiles had an overbite and alligators had an underbite -that’s how you distinguished between them.
arp arp arp – motivation for next year – arp arp – locker room material.
Holly – what are you doing reading our trash paper? You’re way to bright and talented to be knee deep in Bradley’s muck.
Next you’ll be using the “whimpering Chihuahua’s” line that Shultz uses following every Georgia loss.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
19
UgasTexan says:
“That’s against the rules.”
I think it’s hilarious that the HC of one of the NCAA’s most penalized teams is pontificating (see what I did there?) about the rules and how breaking them is a “big deal.”
Arite?
July 24th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
20
Biggus Rickus says:
rjsplow,
What’s not classy about vaginal hygeine?
July 24th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
21
Texas_Dawg says:
@14
“Ummm, I don’t know if you noticed, but Georgia was really good last year.”
No kidding. And Georgia will be even better this year. Which is the point… Meyer didn’t “handle it” last year… just as he isn’t going to “handle it” this year.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
22
OhioDawg says:
PW @ 14 hit the nail on the head, I think, relative to Urban’s motivation for his comments. He still seems like a tool.
The over/under for him to move on to a failed NFL career is 6 years, and I’ll take the under.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
23
blon57 says:
#2
Obviously none of you have read the infamous Austin American Statesman (Austin, Texas). We beat the AJC hands down for a shoddy sports section.
But then, we have had Big 12 media days and they aren’t nearly as riveting as SEC media days. No one was served.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
24
CincySooner says:
[animal nerd on]
this is both for Holly’s and #18 benefit
gators have the rounder snout and crocs the pointier snout.
Gators have an overbite with only upper-jaw teeth showing when its mouth is closed. Crocs have a mixed bite with teeth from both upper and lower jaws showing.
[animal nerd off]
July 24th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
25
Brandon Cox's Vagina says:
#20 – FWIW, Urban is a great Douche. Made me a winnAr.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
26
Ryno says:
CincySooner – thanks!
I didn’t read about it on Animal blog -so I was ill informed.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
27
Holly says:
I need a mnemonic device…something about gators having blunt snouts…hmmm.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
28
Biggus Rickus says:
Holly,
Giant Hydrogen Bombs. Shit.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
29
Mr. Pelican Pants says:
For an encore, next year, upon Tim Tebow to Percy Harvin connection scoring a TD in the first quarter,
Urban Myer will have all the Florida players and fans
“mime” their enthusiasm without making a sound for 3 or 4 mins, kinda like a Michigan game without the keys.
Then they can pretend to win the game.
July 24th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
30
Techie says:
The AUC’s comments section consists of homeless drunks who wander in to public libraries looking for the restrooms.
THEMSE MAH DAWGS!!!!!!!
July 24th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
31
PeterPumpkinhead says:
Hey Holly, try GNAMBLA (silent G) – Gator Noses Are Mucho Blunt Lacerating Appendages
July 24th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
32
macondawg says:
Actually, the rest of the post is secondary to the “Furman Bisher says Bahhh” line. Because that is an absolutely accurate summation of the Furman Bisher Collection from 1976 to present. Minus the creepy old guy smell, natch. Some things are just harder to capture.
July 24th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
33
Ninja Football says:
…kinda like a Michigan game without the keys.
Well played sir, well played. Perhaps if I give you my work address you can come by and hit me in the junk , too?
(God i hate that fucking key thing.)
July 24th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
34
Brewdog says:
I haven’t read the AJC in many, many years (when I attended UF, it was far easier to jimmy open the Tampa Tribune boxes). Let me get this straight.. they pay him to write this stuff? They could just pick up an RSS feed from the lowliest Dawg fan message board and get pretty much the same thing.
Hey, Mark! Why don’ t you call us “Gay-tors” while you’re at it? No one’s heard that one in a while.
July 24th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
35
Andy says:
#6. +1
July 24th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
36
Brian O'Blivion says:
@13 – introduce yourself to Mr. Carlos Dunlap. He will be introducing himself to Mr. Stafford come Nov 1st. I can’t wait for that, and for the silencing of the suddenly confident Dawg fans who think their one game win streak means something.
July 24th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
37
Biggus Rickus says:
Freshmen defensive linemen: the backbone of any great passrush.
July 24th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
38
Jesus says:
Maybe he was trying to get webhits in the slow part of the summer by bating UF fans and getting popular blogs to link his article.
That or he’s just retarded.
I’ll go with the retarded thing.
July 24th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
39
Holly says:
FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE! FRESNO STATE!
is my new answer for everything. It will end any argument. Try it at home!
July 24th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
40
Brian O'Blivion says:
@37 -he’s a sophomore this year. He played sparingly last year. But you’ll get to know him pretty well very soon.
July 24th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
41
NRBQ says:
GAYTORS SUCK!!!!!
I was gonna say that, before being humbled by Tebow’s gracious retort.
July 24th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
42
Biggus Rickus says:
Brian O,
My mistake. It’s possible he could be good then, though I’m not sure I’d be bragging on him yet.
July 24th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
43
hunglikehussain says:
@41
NRBQ, did you flunk colloquialism 101?
It’s Gayturds!
Deserved reprisal from Orson in 3…2…1
July 24th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
44
Orson Swindle says:
You’re rebuked, but re-credited points for expecting the rebuke.
July 24th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
45
Bobby Decatur says:
Baseball, Holly?
Really?
July 24th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
46
NCT says:
Brian O’Blivion @ 36: Dunlap? Yeah, we’ve met. I think I saw him tripping overhimself last year while Massaquoi was on his way to the endzone. Dunlap did get credited with a downfield tackle in another play, though.
UgasTexan @ 19: I saw what you did there. Very clever, indeed. A cocktail for you, sir (hold the transubstantiation).
July 24th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
47
Holly says:
Baseball, Holly?
Really?
Huh?
July 24th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
48
shanensga says:
You are correct about the AJC blogs. There are some of Us old timers that have been calling for the posts to be cleaned up for a while now. Unfortunately Our request have fallen on deaf ears. As for Bradley, I hardly ever read Him and I cannot comment on His latest blog, or the comments section, having read neither. Foul language doesn’t bother Me, nor do insults, as long as they are not idiotic or trite. The “celebration” was overblown last year. Now it has been driven so far into the ground that it is boring. Urban is a big boy and I don’t think He is still upset about it. He is just Hyping that infomercial of a book. Now Fulmer being served at Media Days by a Bama booster, that is priceless! Orson, that should give You enough material to last untill football season. ” Cup founder on witness stand”, My God, it writes itself!
July 25th, 2008 at 12:39 am
49
Doug says:
Brian @ 15 –
Tech fans using “Fresno State” as a jab against the Dawgs? Really? Really?
I can only pray that Alanis Morrissette someday stumbles upon this comments thread so that she will finally know the true, unequivocal meaning of “ironic.”
July 25th, 2008 at 9:39 am
50
Brian O'Blivion says:
NCT and Rickus (#46 and #42) – Dunlap was just a freshman last year, and was thrown out there without really knowing what he was doing, in order to get some game experience. You’ll see a marked improvement this year, I promise. Just remember where you heard it. In the days after the game on 11/1, I’ll be here.
The sun even shines on a Dawg’s ass some days. You have a few more months to enjoy it, and then order will be restored.
July 25th, 2008 at 10:21 am
51
hercules rockefeller says:
btw – tebow and pete carroll now have something in common, per the ajc -
“And while Tebow, the humanitarian…”
July 25th, 2008 at 11:14 am
52
NCT says:
I like the idea of “order” being restored. It’ll be good to get back to where Georgia wins 2 out of every 3 games before the Spurrier disruption began. Currently, Georgia’s won only 55% of games played.
Restoration of order, indeed. Be careful what you wish for.
July 25th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
53
Brian O'Blivion says:
Spurrier bitch smacked UGA. But [REDACTED] took 2 out of 3 from Jawja too. Meyer has taken 2 out of 3 as well. That’s the order I was referring to.
July 25th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
54
Trackdawg says:
Urban, why so serious?
July 25th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
55
Urban Meyer says:
Urban Meyer is mad at Mark Richt. Urban Meyer doesn’t like his tricks. Urban Meyer will never forget.
Urban Meyer signs 15 WRs per class because Urban Meyer tells them all they can start.
Urban Meyer has no DTs because Urban Meyer signed too many WRs.
Urban Meyer knows that Ron Zook’s defense won Urban Meyer the national title. Urban Meyer got lucky that South Carolina’s FG protection was flawed that year.
Urban Meyer knows that Urban Meyer has inflated Florida’s expectations to unreachable levels. Urban Meyer knows that this will catch up to him soon.
Urban Meyer is getting Urban Meyer’s resume ready.
July 30th, 2008 at 2:29 am