FLATLINING: CONTINUING A THEME...

by Orson on Jul 23, 2008 2:32 PM EDT

Earlier today, The Kid looked at coaches whose odds for a smooth season were looking less than favorable. This provoked commentary from readers, who wondered how guys like Ty Willingham weren't going to be included in a list.

The reason is simple. Everyone else in the room should make it, except for guys like Ty. They're dead, irradiated by a critical dose of losing, bad timing, lackluster recruiting, fluctuating oil prices, whatever. Certain coaching regimes are on courteous flatline heading into the season; the final hammer of inevitable firing only awaits one last season of confirmation.

Fatal dosage may vary depending on exposure and victories over hated rivals.

It's possible they would survive the does, of course. Anything's possible. But given the numbers, it ain't likely. And unless you're a hopeless homer, all you have are the numbers. The only three guys we can think of that are 1000 percent completely irradiated by loss and in risk of seriously aggressive firing follow. If you're looking for surprise idiocy, look elsewhere. ("Tressel! He only runs the second-best program in the nation and that's UNACCEPTABLE!")

Ty Willingham. It's rare that a coach will give a single smoking gun, a clarion reason to go ahead, contact HR, and tell them they're about to file a bunch of paperwork they won't particularly enjoy.

Willingham has helpfully provided no single smoking gun, unless you count 2, 5, and 4, or his victory totals from the past three years. Which we do. Assume the three year trigger-finger rule, and add one for the exceptional mess inherited by Willingham, and you've got a four-year trial period entering this year.

But even if the win totals can be fudged with "oooh progress player development system implementation," then consider the anecdotal ugly: the weak recruiting thus far in 2008, the "calm demeanor" that can be mistaken for "asleep at the wheel," and the fact that it's been five years since Willingham's had a winning season.

What's that noise? Um...

FORE!

That doesn't help either, btw.

Mike Stoops. Mike Stoops could bear the crown for diminishing returns on yelling vs. results. In fact, we won't watch him without adequate safety gear on this season, since he looks, well...damn, does he look near-Jim-Leavitt-angry most of the time? And is that even advisable for people not named Jim Leavitt? He could save his job, but given the torsion his circulatory system appears to be under, is that even a medically optimal outcome here? The Wildcats season sponsored by Lipitor and Drank, who really, really advises you to slow your roll, Coach Stoops.

If you see Mike Stoops making this face for longer than one second, call 911. He is having a stroke.

Greg Robinson. "You breathe in vain." It's the best insult from Shakespeare, and it's the best summary of whatever the hell goes on at Syracuse. We don't doubt that people show up and work very hard, and put in lots of effort, ruin their stomachs with gallons of stale coffee, and toil long hours to help the Orangemen go 2-10. We just wonder...well, effort doesn't necessarily equal smart effort, or effective effort. Someone worked really, really hard at Pets.com, too.

Pets.com. Syracuse football. Same thing, in a sense.

It's theoretically possible for Willingham and Stoops to save their jobs. Gadzooks, it may even be probable that Stoops saves his given WSU, Stanford, and Washington's slide into the carport gutter of the Pac-10. Imagining that the worst three-year period in Syracuse football history won't end with Greg Robinson's firing seems beyond even the realm of the theoretical. They might win ten games this year, and even then an incredulous administration might fire him, assuming that, after four months in a parallel universe where Syracuse wins ten games, they have returned to reality and must take care of the serious task of finding a new coach.

Tweet Comment 46 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

I nominate Nick Saban’s Offensive Coordinator.

He’s toast.

by NewAZTiger on Jul 23, 2008 2:37 PM EDT reply actions

“weak recruiting”

what recruiting? ty is a fraud but espn will happily hire him after he is axed halfway through the season.

by fife in the bay on Jul 23, 2008 2:37 PM EDT reply actions

100 cocktails for dragging out the Pets.com sockpuppet, sir.

by DevilGrad on Jul 23, 2008 2:47 PM EDT reply actions

NewAZTiger, I am shocked at the speed of your reply. Normally it takes at least until comment #4 before someone takes a dig at Saban. I bet you thought up that line and said to yourself, “NewAZTiger you WILL be the first to mention Saban! You can do it! Oh look, a virgin blog entry. Doesn’t have anything to do with Saban. No matter. I am number 1!!” I am not a fan of bama but its chokehold on your psyche is impressive.

by DaveInPensacola on Jul 23, 2008 2:55 PM EDT reply actions

Yeah, but Ty will be laughing all the way to the bank…and then he will get his ESPN contract, thereby taking more money to the bank. That – or a government job. Either of which will give him more time to play golf.

by hobeg8r on Jul 23, 2008 2:55 PM EDT reply actions

imagining the gooey goodness that will be Ty working next to Lou Holthtz… Mmmmm, Wonkalicious

by PeterPumpkinhead on Jul 23, 2008 3:00 PM EDT reply actions

I think we may have the makings of a new article here…“What Goes on at Syracuse”. Wouldn’t the sick, twisted side of you really like to know?

by Irish09 on Jul 23, 2008 3:03 PM EDT reply actions

Can you imagine the comatose comments by Ty, even ESPN wouldn’t put that on TV would they?

by NoWay on Jul 23, 2008 3:04 PM EDT reply actions

“Wonkalicious”…
3 family-sized bottles of Drank to you, sir.

by Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive on Jul 23, 2008 3:04 PM EDT reply actions

Hope and change, my friends. Ty will be named to Obama’s cabinet as secretary of state where he will use his Chauncey Gardener style witticisms to devastating effect in the arena of foreign diplomacy.

by J in SD on Jul 23, 2008 3:05 PM EDT reply actions

Dave I agree but you have to admit he’s right about Bama’s OC.

by inthevalley on Jul 23, 2008 3:05 PM EDT reply actions

I have to say it takes guts to go with a Pets.com reference and a Shakespeare reference in the same paragraph, and I had my doubts it would work, but my hat is off to you. My Tennessee hat! Worn Bill Dance Style, high and tight! I know our coach is fat. So is Lulu.

by DaveInPensacola on Jul 23, 2008 3:07 PM EDT reply actions

This list makes much more sense. I can’t believe I forgot about Greg Robinson. He has taken SU so far down that I forgot they played football.

ESPN could have Holtz, Davie in from the booth and Ty for a Notre Dame trifecta. Then for good measure they could have Charlie Weis in a year or so for the superfecta of ex-ND coaches. If George O’Leary would join them, I’m not sure the TV could handle the fail* on set.

*Holtz gets to be on the fail list after he left every program in trouble with the NCAA.

by Crabapple Buck on Jul 23, 2008 3:09 PM EDT reply actions

Ty = Suck

On second thought, I’m sure he’d have had the Irish turned around by now [rolls eyes] if the racist domers hadn’t mislabled him as a good for nothing gold-digger. They we’re smart to ask him to bite the curb.

by gindole on Jul 23, 2008 3:19 PM EDT reply actions

Mike Stoops: Can’t coach, can’t compose an English sentence:

http://www.qbforce.com/tate/offers/Arizona.htm

ME TYPE ANGRY!!

by SDSMP on Jul 23, 2008 3:20 PM EDT reply actions

Shakesphere, the freaking sock puppet and Mike Stoops having a stroke…. damn it… whiping coffee off my screen and keyboard, as my co-workers check to see if everything is okay…… I can still fondly remember when Syracuse and Washington were freaking powerhouses.

by The Holy Grail on Jul 23, 2008 3:24 PM EDT reply actions

- you must appreciate how easily you’re trolled.

Besides, Orson pays me in Drank to make sure that these threads reach 100. My roll hasn’t been slowed all week.

You got 3 ways to get to 100 – Bring up Bama, Notre Dame, or taunt tafkat(whateveR).

Bama happens to be in my wheelhouse.

Besides, I don’t even know who Bama’s new OC is, which in this state means he’s probably a placeholder.

The only coordinators being talked about are AU’s.

by NewAZTiger on Jul 23, 2008 3:39 PM EDT reply actions

I, for one, cannot wait until the Notre Dame-Washington game this year. No matter who wins or loses, the schadenfreude will be so thick and rich I’m going to pour myself a cup and dip my Zaxby’s chicken fingers in it.

by Doug on Jul 23, 2008 3:43 PM EDT reply actions

A new big east analogy
WVU : Winner :: Syracuse : Epic Fail

by eers2snow on Jul 23, 2008 4:05 PM EDT reply actions

Re: 17
You got me you crafty ole cat. I fell for it! Good job to Orson for bringing you in so this little website could get some traffic. Again, congrats.

by DaveInPensacola on Jul 23, 2008 4:06 PM EDT reply actions

I’ll cry if (sigh… when) Ty gets fired. This would be the second time he’s gone into a bad situation, straightened up a program and got fired before he could reap the benefits. Husky fans are absolutely delusional, they expected Ty to take them to a bowl game 2 years removed from being the worst division 1 team in America and still trying to recover from Neuheisel’s All Mediocre Recivers, All The Time recruiting strategy. After a bit of a rocky year in Locker’s freshman year where they played well but fell just short against significantly better teams, Husky fans have had enough, and it’s ridiculous.

UW fans were indignant over the state of their program off the field as well as on the field, but when Ty and the AD dared to say that things like education and character might be as imporant as winning they tried to run them out of town, and succeeded with the AD. Ty has done everything right and all of the negativity towards the UW football program over administrative and player conduct has gone away. But the media scewers him over his interviews and locking them out of practice, and the fans scewer him because they think it’s still 1994.

by NCE on Jul 23, 2008 4:07 PM EDT reply actions

I saw Chris Rock’s stand-up routine the other night here in Chicago. To paraphrase a small portion:

A black man is going to be president, what more do you [term redacteds] want?

by Domer Guy on Jul 23, 2008 4:12 PM EDT reply actions

Mrs Willingham, its spelled “skewer”.

by tbone on Jul 23, 2008 4:17 PM EDT reply actions

NCE clearly doesn’t believe in numbers. I don’t know how anyone can look at the way Ty recruits and claims that he leaves places better off than they were when he got there. When he left ND, we had about as many scholarship players as schools receiving the death penalty. At the rate he’s going at Washington, they may not even be able to field a full team 2009.

by NDTom on Jul 23, 2008 4:36 PM EDT reply actions

“What if I gave you THREE DOLLARS?”

“How much”

“Thr… FOUR DOLLARS!”

“You’re talking, I’m listening.”

Greatest dot-bomb mascot ever.

by Papa Lou BSU on Jul 23, 2008 4:36 PM EDT reply actions

NCE @ 21) If you watch for a bit you will notice that the majority of the “Ty SUX, Ty SUX, Ty SUX” crowd are actually Notre Dame fans.

Ty deserves a hot seat at UW, but considering the deep deep hole that program was in when he started, he didn’t do that bad of a job against the toughest schedule in the country last year. But the UW fans rightfully expect more.

by oc phil on Jul 23, 2008 4:40 PM EDT reply actions

#24

NCE is clearly joking. No one can truly believe what he/she/it just typed.

“Ty has done everything right..” 0 recruits heading into August = everything right?

Dead Giveaway!

by gindole on Jul 23, 2008 4:41 PM EDT reply actions

oc phil is ty’s caddie

by J in SD on Jul 23, 2008 4:52 PM EDT reply actions

BTW, Bama’s OC (offensive consort) is Jim McEwain. Former OC/QB coach at Fresno St. QB coach for Oakland Raiders in 2006. Previously WR/ST coaching stints at Michigan St. and Louisville.

How do I know this?

Phil Steele’s EEEEEES EEEEEE CEEEEEE Football 2008 preview!

On the cover….THE NATION’S TOUGHEST CONFERENCE!

by hunglikehussain on Jul 23, 2008 5:02 PM EDT reply actions

That would correctly be McElwain.

Just doing my part for the comment count.

by hunglikehussain on Jul 23, 2008 5:04 PM EDT reply actions

#30: Thank you for your efforts to get me Drank.

The point of the matter is that I’m in Alabama, listen to sports radio, and I don’t know his name. That’s not a good sign for longevity in this state, especially when micromanager Saban is involved.

I knew Major Applewhite’s name, because they talked about him. Frequently.

This year, I didn’t know his name. I doubt any sports-radio listener in Alabama hasn’t heard Tony Franklin’s name.

by NewAZTiger on Jul 23, 2008 5:08 PM EDT reply actions

McElwain will certainly put up some points.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fw1CcxCUgg

by PW on Jul 23, 2008 5:09 PM EDT reply actions

PW, thanks. I had never seen that on the youtubes. Great story.

Seriously, /tear ducts full and reaching for a Kleenex.

by hunglikehussain on Jul 23, 2008 5:24 PM EDT reply actions

Fair enough, Ty has done everything right is an overstatement. The 0 recruits to this point is worrisome, to say the least. And I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve to be on the hot seat, but to fire him after this year, baring something disastrous, would be foolish. UW is 4 years removed from the worst Division 1 team, coming off the toughest schedule in the country and staring down a similar schedule. What can people reasonably be expecting from him? You can’t turn around a Pac10 team that bad, that quickly.

by NCE on Jul 23, 2008 5:43 PM EDT reply actions

I’d take McElwain over Franklin anyday….

by Last Dragon on Jul 23, 2008 5:48 PM EDT reply actions

@34

not blowing games in the second half would be nice. i dont think you can find a better first half coach.

jim harbaugh begs to differ in regards to your last statement.

by fife in the bay on Jul 23, 2008 5:58 PM EDT reply actions

@35

Well at least McElwain hasn’t killed anyone yet. Hoover High School?

/ trying to get NewAZTiger his fix

by hunglikehussain on Jul 23, 2008 6:07 PM EDT reply actions

Wait, what? Seriously? Jim Harbaugh? So Stanfords 4-8 season was somehow different than UW’s? What, because of the USC fluke?

Oh, and you know, Jim Harbaugh lost to Ty, so…. yeah.

As far as not blowing second half leads, yes it would be nice. You know what else is nice? That UW has second half leads again. It’s called building a program, not making one appear out of thin air.

by NCE on Jul 23, 2008 6:12 PM EDT reply actions

Ty has his first verbal commitment for the 2009 class! All is not lost. 3 star qb also recruited by Nevada. Now if only there were some linemen to block for this kid, some tailbacks to carry the ball, and some receivers to throw to.

by J in SD on Jul 23, 2008 6:29 PM EDT reply actions

Naw, actually since I’ve actually done a little coaching along the way I don’t like seeing any coach get excessive flak from internet douchebags.

Maybe Orson should whip up another “seal of approval” to go along with the one for comments about women. But then again that wouldn’t really fit given his history with Zook.

by oc phil on Jul 23, 2008 6:57 PM EDT reply actions

Actually, nobody really cares about Tony Franklin, except for Auburn Fans, Hal Mumme, and the NCAA.

by Ltrain on Jul 23, 2008 7:20 PM EDT reply actions

Greg Robinson is too coaching what Eliot Spitzer was to governing – without the hot hooker.

by Russianator on Jul 24, 2008 12:00 AM EDT reply actions

I certainly hope ND fans don’t have egg on their faces when Washington wins this year’s game.

by DAN on Jul 24, 2008 11:47 AM EDT reply actions

Ty inherited a terrible situation! We know this because of UW’s terrible record over the last three seasons! Absent a terrible situation the record would have been less terrible!

Ty is a good coach! He took Stanford to the Rose Bowl 10 years ago! He just needs to implement his system with his players! We just need to be patient! The internet has made people unreasonable!

by UW Fan on Jul 24, 2008 4:52 PM EDT reply actions

there are some ty appologists on this page…he is an overrated coach that cant recruit or win. the rose bowl was mentioned but that was TEN years ago people! irrelevant now. uw sux and ty was the best coach they could lure into that hell hole. uw deserves this for firing rick and interestingly enough he gets hired at ucla….jackasses

by jason on Jul 25, 2008 12:17 PM EDT reply actions