To avoid a repeat of the Sam Bradford/cocaine/fake webpage debacle that sent lawsuits flying, we’ll put this disclaimer up for the benefit of talk radio.

THIS IS NOT REAL IT IS A SATIRE AND NO THAT IS NOT REAL IT IS A JOKE.

Okay, now. Enjoy that charming mock-up of an article that, if you hold onto it for fifteen years or so, will make for easy filing for some happy stringer. But pity Bowden not: not only was he one of the two or three finest football coaches of his generation, he also got away with a life of thievery, lies, and hamburglary scot-free. Want proof? Your honor, we call on Youtube.

Once more for talk radio: BOBBY BOWDEN NOT HAMBURGLAR!!! GO TALK ABOUT FARVREVERRERE.