SEPARATED AT BIRTH: URBAN MEYER IS BATMAN

by Orson on Jul 18, 2008 11:11 AM EDT

In honor of the release of Dark Knight...we finally cast Urban Meyer in our epic 46 part miniseries about Florida football. Separated at birth:

Urban Meyer...

...and...

...Christian Bale, a.k.a. preppie psycho Batman.

If you can't see Urban donning a raincoat over a five-thousand dollar suit and killing someone with a stainless steel axe to the tune of "Hip to Be Square"...well, as a Florida fan, all we can say is that we can.

Tweet Comment 38 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

Ever notice how Christian Bale talks out the side of his mouth?

by Chuck on Jul 18, 2008 11:14 AM EDT reply actions

I don’t know about the physical similarities, but they both have that, “I know I look depressed but I’m really excited” look that Urban debuted when Jarvis Moss beat South Carolina.

by mlmintampa on Jul 18, 2008 11:19 AM EDT reply actions

Houston Nutt is the Joker, Mark Mangino is the Penguin, Bobby Petrino is Two Face

by WarCardinals on Jul 18, 2008 11:23 AM EDT reply actions

How dare you, sir.

How. Dare. You?

by Darkknight on Jul 18, 2008 11:26 AM EDT reply actions

I can.

by plactic paddy on Jul 18, 2008 11:28 AM EDT reply actions

“Are you going to tell the guy in the five-thousand dollar suit that he can’t send Moss in to block a Succop field goal attempt in the closing seconds of a harrowing game? COME ON!”

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to return some videotapes.

by gatorphunk on Jul 18, 2008 11:28 AM EDT reply actions

Waiter: Would you like to hear today’s specials?
Preppie Psycho Batman: Not if you want to keep your spleen.

by Erdinger on Jul 18, 2008 11:42 AM EDT reply actions

Actually, Urban murdering me to the musical stylings of Huey Lews and the News is a recurring nightmare of mine. The worst was the night he used the pick-axe while “Stuck with You” played. I couldn’t sleep for days.

by Biggus Rickus on Jul 18, 2008 11:46 AM EDT reply actions

Meyer and Bale could also be the Wonder Twins.

I wonder which one will turn into an ice cube?

by Bo on Jul 18, 2008 11:49 AM EDT reply actions

Weis is the “Revolting Blob” from Billy Madison.

by PW on Jul 18, 2008 11:50 AM EDT reply actions

I have a good seperated at birth item.

Try Urban Meyer and Syrian tyrant Bashir Assad.

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o164/actuarydawg/bashir-meyer.jpg

by ActuaryDawg on Jul 18, 2008 11:51 AM EDT reply actions

chuck: my attention has always been focused on his vampire like canines. the background to this post is bone white, and the font is something called silian rail.

by secFTW on Jul 18, 2008 11:55 AM EDT reply actions

Batman doesn’t cry after losing to Auburn.

by NewAZTiger on Jul 18, 2008 11:57 AM EDT reply actions

Meh. I see it happening more in a Member’s Only jacket.

Member’s Only. What champions wear in the Arizona night.

by Kenny on Jul 18, 2008 11:58 AM EDT reply actions

I actually see Weis, if he grows out his hair, as “Fat Bastard” from Austin Powers.

by Craig on Jul 18, 2008 11:58 AM EDT reply actions

A vigilante crime fighter will never succeed in the SEC.

by Bagger Douche on Jul 18, 2008 12:02 PM EDT reply actions

F U Orson for using CUM and Patrick Bateman, er Christian Bale in the same sentence let alone comparing them.

Reason #3431234 I hate UF: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/37426-florida-football-is-meyer-an-urban-legend-or-urban-liar

by allyourkegsarebelongtostafford on Jul 18, 2008 12:02 PM EDT reply actions

as long as he’s a character who’s extremely fat, i agree.

by PW on Jul 18, 2008 12:04 PM EDT reply actions

@10

nice. my favorite scene.

by NativeSon on Jul 18, 2008 12:04 PM EDT reply actions

@Chuck,

Urban talks out of both sides of his.

by GamecockTony on Jul 18, 2008 12:06 PM EDT reply actions

extra points for having a Dark Knight ad here, too…..

by ATL AU Tiger on Jul 18, 2008 12:17 PM EDT reply actions

He talks out of the side of his mouth because of those partial dentures for his front teeth.

by titanhulk on Jul 18, 2008 12:21 PM EDT reply actions

Meyer wheres a TON of makeup when he’s on TV.
I was wondering why Edward James Olmos shaved his mustache until I was introduced…

by Dumpster Baby on Jul 18, 2008 12:24 PM EDT reply actions

Urban Meyer couldn’t get an 8:30 res at Dorsia either, particularly not in that members only bomber jacket.

by ya lawya on Jul 18, 2008 12:25 PM EDT reply actions

Charlie Weis = Jabba the Hut b/c he is fat and evil

Pete Carroll = Moses b/c Pete Carroll will lead all of us to the promise land (to a BCS championship game which will not feature tOSU)

by socalbryan on Jul 18, 2008 12:29 PM EDT reply actions

Hey kids, watch Batman as he throws his players under the bus after the Michigan game!!!!
Pow!
Wam!!

by McNulty on Jul 18, 2008 12:32 PM EDT reply actions

There is an uncanny resemblance.

By the way, The Dark Knight is nothing short of 2 1/2 hours of pure awesome. Drop whatever you’re doing and go see it. NOW!

by Smyth on Jul 18, 2008 1:21 PM EDT reply actions

#27, Dark Knight was a sorry excuse for a movie. It ranks right down there with Sommersby.

Do yourself a favor and stick a spork in your eye.

by Gene Shalit on Jul 18, 2008 1:41 PM EDT reply actions

Revisionist history: Urban cried after LSU…. Ha! (sniffle).

by Ltrain on Jul 18, 2008 2:06 PM EDT reply actions

Well, they are both human… and have eyes.

That connection to the Syrian evil overlord guy, though… that was scary.

by ChemE93 on Jul 18, 2008 2:08 PM EDT reply actions

So Tommy Tuberville is Dr. Thomas Wayne? After all, he’s been CUB’s Daddy the last two seasons…..

War Eagle!

by sullivan013 on Jul 18, 2008 2:19 PM EDT reply actions

Do you like Phil Collins? I’ve been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn’t understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins’ presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group’s undisputed masterpiece. It’s an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Christy, take off your robe. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Sabrina, remove your dress. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Sabrina, why don’t you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I’ve heard in rock. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins’ solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite.

by Yuppie Scum on Jul 18, 2008 2:29 PM EDT reply actions