Jethro! What a brother know! The excitement is getting unbearable around here. Bring the noise.

Recap the offseason before you forget it and claim you were right all along, which of course you were, you smart thing, you. Barwis as Yoda may be a bit much, but it beats the other comparison we wanted to make by miles: Mike Barwis as…the cockpuncher.

LSU boots o-lineman Jarvis Jones off the team for one reason or another. Requires further digging, as bayou drama of even the smallest magnitude tends to be on the spicy side.

Victoria’s Secret completes its long tumble into the dirty, flabby midsection of American demography with its announcement of college football-themed wear, most of which very conservative. (Tell your father to calm down.) The most risque thing they have for Florida is the “undie,” though Florida State does get to feature their trademark “pre-soiled thong.” Victoria’s Secret: providing your 11 year old with adult underwear since 1986!

The thunder, son. The thunder. ESPN’s College Football Live returns on Monday. Feel the thunder of Rece Davis talking about a sport he radiates glee for over the next five months. The world wins when things like this happen.