CORRECTIONS, 7/18/2008
by Holly Anderson on Jul 18, 2008 4:34 PM EDT
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PrintWhile you're analyzing the wonders of the new Michigan offense...consider our corrections. We regret the error.
Monday's profile of Dan Hawkins erroneously reported that the Colorado coach is growing out his hair in the offseason to more closely resemble the school's mascot, Ralphie the buffalo. Hawkins assures our editorial staff that he merely enjoys the sensation of having his locks braided each morning by cartoon birds. We regret the error.
Tra la motherfuckin' la.
On July 14th, we described Columbia, South Carolina as being "as butt-nasty as the rattiest corners of Zombieratville Corners, Incorporated Hell, Hell, Hellsylvania, People's Republic of Hell That's Right We Really Live in Hell, Motherfuckers." We apologize to the citizens of Zombieratville Corners for the unflattering comparison, which was unfair. We regret the error.
This week's Offseason Injury Report stated that several Wake Forest players were hospitalized following an aborted attempt by Demon Deacons head coach Jim Grobe to summon an actual demon, the lesser god of Hell Bes, for a demonstration of proper blocking technique. The shadowy figure in the scrying circle was actually offensive coordinator Steed Lobotzke. We regret the error.
No jumping offsides with this little guy across the line.
In Tuesday's Crossword, the answer for number 4 Down, "Pam Ward," was correct. However, the clue was not, and was missing an important definite article. It should have read: "What ESPN announcer was a collegiate champion in weightlifting, specializing in the 69-75 kg snatch." We regret the error.
Wednesday's report that Ohio State's Jim Tressel leads Division I active head coach in Median Sideline Bubble Diameter was incorrectly sourced. A spokesman for Tressel states unequivocally that he has never engaged in such a joyful frivolity as blowing bubblegum. We believe him, and regret the error.
Thursday's look back at 2007, The Season That Was, noted that former Appalachian State safety and Wolverine slayer Corey Lynch owes his translucently pale and delicate skin to a childhood spent locked in the attic of his grandparents' manor. Lynch's mother has since contacted us to assure the world her son is not in any way related to the Cory of V.C. Andrews' infamous Flowers in the Attic, and merely possesses a naturally alabaster complexion. She then excused herself without allowing us to question her further, explaining she had left a pot of hot tar on the stove. We regret the error.
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I’m not sure what my favorite is but I’m going with “snatch” ftw.
Better late than never.
Have a great weekend motherfuckers!
by Picture Me Rollin on Jul 18, 2008 4:50 PM EDT reply actions
Filed under….“destroying the internet’s finest college football blog”.
Holly, you are a gem! HAHAHAHA
by hunglikehussain on Jul 18, 2008 4:51 PM EDT reply actions
The tag was actually supposed to read “destroying the internet’s finest college football blog in under 250 words a week”, but it wouldn’t fit.
by Holly on Jul 18, 2008 4:52 PM EDT reply actions
Pam Ward’s labia is going to file a C&D by 8 a.m. Monday morning.
by OPS on Jul 18, 2008 4:54 PM EDT reply actions
Don’t worry about Corey’s mama; she can be placated with a plate of taffy. Worry about his grandfather-in-law, who can have you condemned to Columbia for all eternity in a sec.
by yoyofutbawl on Jul 18, 2008 5:01 PM EDT reply actions
- HlH – well when you’re measuring something that big with that big of a potential impact to public welfare, you could also get a C&D letter from the state’s board of engineering and surveying licensing as well. Group 5’s get most, but not all of the fun!
by Out of Conference on Jul 18, 2008 5:02 PM EDT reply actions
So, Holly, did Hawkins make that shirt from the draperies in his office?
by DevilGrad on Jul 18, 2008 5:09 PM EDT reply actions
Who knew that Pam Ward specialized in metric snatch? Now I know why that Swedish Sapphos website keeps crashing… I’ve said too much.
by DC Trojan on Jul 18, 2008 5:14 PM EDT reply actions
That’s two-thousand-Saban (and six, har har), bamafuckers.
by UgasTexan on Jul 18, 2008 5:15 PM EDT reply actions
Does the author live in Columbia? Just curious what the basis of the hate/humor is.
by wooooohoooooo on Jul 18, 2008 5:36 PM EDT reply actions
I’m pretty certain that of all the blogs I read, this one was the last one I expected a VC Andrews plot point reference. Those shiny, shiny peek-a-boo covers only attracted the girls, I thought.
by Jen on Jul 18, 2008 6:07 PM EDT reply actions
+100 on the Pam Ward bit. Funniest correction yet.
by ChemE93 on Jul 18, 2008 6:11 PM EDT reply actions
I just popped over to the Wolverine Liberation Army website to point out just how many of those neat-looking spead plays they might see this year.
Imagine my surprise to see EDSBS listed as one of the "voices of the enemy " at their website.
I guess that, just like GWB in 2001, yer either “with ‘em or again’ em”.
by James Schrumpf on Jul 18, 2008 8:17 PM EDT reply actions
Ok guys…..we are talking about labia. Not law.
I’m here for the funny.
Best line eveh….. “I be lovin’ some labia, as long as it don’t look like some turkey neck flappin’ in a 20 mile per hour breeze.”
TCOAN, blon, Holly,etc. feel free to discuss the ridiculous anatomy of the male.
hic
by hunglikehussain on Jul 18, 2008 10:17 PM EDT reply actions
Orson, Pete Carroll takes part in tribal-like recruiting dances.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=9rDe-Z_wH84
The legend continues…
by socalbryan on Jul 20, 2008 2:05 AM EDT reply actions
Yeah James, you did a great job on educating the masses over there. You got shit on completely for taking a joke post seriously and then disappeared. Well played, sir.
by Roofie Wainwright on Jul 20, 2008 6:54 PM EDT reply actions
Ooooo you must have drank the orange kool-aid too. (penguins)
by beankilla on Jul 20, 2008 10:46 PM EDT reply actions
For what it’s worth, if you live in Colatown and you think it’s hell, you’re obviously not doing enough to see the town, make local friends, and/or get off the couch. But I’m biased having lived there for 8 years during and after college.
by Out of Conference on Jul 21, 2008 9:54 AM EDT reply actions
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