A FAREWELL TO AMOROUS BIG CATS
by Holly Anderson on Jul 17, 2008 5:02 PM EDT
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PrintOrgeron. Perrilloux. SLOCUM? One by one, our best material has gone gently into that good night of jucos and position coaching, and today we hear rumblings that an EDSBS Most Favored Son is an academic casualty and a Wolverine no more.
In his own words, we give you Marques Slocum, remixed in sonnet-ish form. Read, remember, and mourn.
got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me
i hope my wife know ima be man! fuck dat spider
I like 2 licky licky licky licky
My mom CARLA i think she da realest bitch alive
im fuckin wit a rock or a pit just so it can cha cat
yea, beerfest bitch! im ready 4 da boot!
come on now! what type of question is dat?
why da fuck am i doin dis interview
shit i at least get a bird bath but yea i shower everyday
opera- no, musical- no, play- no, performance- fuuuuuuuuuuuck no
come on now i wanna fly i hate walkin dat shit overrated
u just fucked up da mood, i guess i aint sayin no more jokes
i dont give a fuck i just want 2 get on
sprint/nextel bitch! dey got da best phones
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Interesting retrospective of Slocum’s academic career. I did not realize he went to Milford. And I thought you could always tell a Milford Man…
by Dr. StrangeCock on Jul 17, 2008 5:09 PM EDT reply actions
Jacksonville State is going to be stacked this year!
by Out of Conference on Jul 17, 2008 5:10 PM EDT reply actions
That last stanza brought to mind Lazy Sunday for some reason.
“Google Maps is the best!”
“True that.” “Double true!”
by chilltown on Jul 17, 2008 5:14 PM EDT reply actions
by ALGator on Jul 17, 2008 5:17 PM EDT reply actions
If this is the Michigan farewell for the Fuck Lion, we can only hope that he makes it out of Ann Arbor with both of his motherfuckin’ body parts.
But, cheer up, Orson. Houston Nutt and his sack of rabid weasels are still in business.
by DevilGrad on Jul 17, 2008 5:21 PM EDT reply actions
Who’s the next victim? Will a pork rind-related heart attack befall Houston Nutt? Will Les Miles choke on Taffy? Will Joe Paterno finally realize he’s Joe Paterno? What kind of a college football world is this? WHY AM I ASKING YOU???
by Digital Headbutt on Jul 17, 2008 5:23 PM EDT reply actions
Marques Slocum fail English?
That’s UNPOSSIBLE!
Shocking turn of events here.
by Tailgate Shogun on Jul 17, 2008 5:24 PM EDT reply actions
Slocum is undone, alas.
FTW. Dammit, that should’ve been the title.
by Holly on Jul 17, 2008 5:25 PM EDT reply actions
The “sprint/nextel bitch!” has really stayed with me since the original posting.
by spartanmike on Jul 17, 2008 5:32 PM EDT reply actions
Damn. I really need to read the bylines more carefully. My apologies, Holly.
by DevilGrad on Jul 17, 2008 5:33 PM EDT reply actions
Grand Marques should probably go get his business degree from notre dame (while maintaining a 3.0 gpa, I’ll have you know).
ND GRADUATES ALL ITS PLAYERS EVERYSINGLEYEAR AAAHHHH!
by Ben on Jul 17, 2008 5:33 PM EDT reply actions
Somehow I missed that the first time around, but… he doesn’t really want to “licky, licky” his mom, does he???
by PeterPumpkinhead on Jul 17, 2008 5:38 PM EDT reply actions
@DevilGrad—-Naw, I’m taking that as a compliment.
by Holly on Jul 17, 2008 5:41 PM EDT reply actions
From the post:“walk the tightrope between Duke football and Mississippi State academics.”
Like we are the school suing to let players that can’t read in.
by jakldawg on Jul 17, 2008 5:53 PM EDT reply actions
Yeah, I thought that was weird. Since when can MS State play football?
by Holly on Jul 17, 2008 5:56 PM EDT reply actions
#16
Yeah, I saw that too. They are quite arrogant regarding their collective intelligence for a state in the midst of an 18 month economic recession.
by meatybob on Jul 17, 2008 5:58 PM EDT reply actions
Good night, golden poet. You were too beautiful to last.
by Harris on Jul 17, 2008 6:00 PM EDT reply actions
Powe gets it, Slocum goes out…such is the circle of life.
by Bunie Perkins on Jul 17, 2008 6:01 PM EDT reply actions
@16
Nah, you’re just the one’s that like to dangle their prepositions in public.
I Keed! I Keed!
by hunglikehussain on Jul 17, 2008 6:03 PM EDT reply actions
After you dangle your prepositions in public, should you give them a birdbath?
by DevilGrad on Jul 17, 2008 6:07 PM EDT reply actions
I much preferred the tag line “A Farewell to Fuck Lions”, not this euphemism-laden goodness we have now.
by Seven Years in Gainesville on Jul 17, 2008 6:08 PM EDT reply actions
What is this Fuck Lion you speak of?
Is that like Sex Panther? The Wal-Mart bootleg version?
Brotha Marquis, Marquis yo brotha……man I miss
Two Live Crew……
by Mr. Pelican Pants on Jul 17, 2008 6:19 PM EDT reply actions
Deserving of a re-post.
http://img172.imageshack.us/img172/8568/mothersdaycardfh3.jpg
by hunglikehussain on Jul 17, 2008 6:46 PM EDT reply actions
Whoops! I suppose that’s karmic retribution for all the time I’ve laid the grammar hammer on people.
by jakldawg on Jul 17, 2008 6:52 PM EDT reply actions
This shit is beyond funny now and reaches into the realm of just being sad. How the fuck does this country produce intellectual wealth like this?
by BurritoBrosShits on Jul 17, 2008 7:19 PM EDT reply actions
Orgeron, Perriloux, and Slocum…The “Abraham, Martin, and John” of our era
by Bill on Jul 17, 2008 8:32 PM EDT reply actions
@27
jakldawg, I am not a grammar nazi. I just had to read your post a few times for comprehension.
Then I made a funny.
by hunglikehussain on Jul 17, 2008 8:50 PM EDT reply actions
aye mateys – tis a sad thing to see the merry clown leave the stage
but me experiences says there’s plenty more where that came from… just start laying microphones in the bushes near the dorms of Florida or Kansas State… next thing yanno, wonderful witicisms are recorded and translated for our amusement
now where’s my midget in a suitcase?
by Pirate Petey on Jul 17, 2008 9:45 PM EDT reply actions
where can i see this guy’s original statement? it’s just that this is too difficult to believe; i didn’t know anyone could be that stupid.
by socalbryan on Jul 18, 2008 1:50 AM EDT reply actions
Does Slocum smoke real cigarettes? I think he may have been with this kid.
by socalbryan on Jul 18, 2008 1:58 AM EDT reply actions
“I like 2 licky licky licky licky.”
Can you all make sure that’s on my headstone?
Thanks.
by GamecockTony on Jul 18, 2008 8:56 AM EDT reply actions
Farewell Marques,
May your future be full of milk and cookies,… and be free of performance art.
by CincySooner on Jul 18, 2008 9:19 AM EDT reply actions
And it seems to me you lived your life like a Wolverine in the wind
Never knowing who to licky licky when the spiders came in
I would’ve liked to have known you, but I was just a kid
Your candle burned out long before
Your fuck lion ever did.
by Doug on Jul 18, 2008 10:34 AM EDT reply actions
shoot, change that major from ‘pre-business’ to ‘advanced urban floetry’. Problem solved, fuck lion & CARLA can keep it REaLZZ.
by decemberist on Jul 18, 2008 10:51 AM EDT reply actions
@28
You answer with “the Power of TROOF”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwsWskgKe5E
by hunglikehussain on Jul 18, 2008 11:10 AM EDT reply actions
SocalBrian, you can find the original by clicking the link “in his own words”. I thought that’d be pretty elementary, its just that this is too difficult to believe it’s not; i didnt know anyone could be that stupid.
by Ninja Football on Jul 18, 2008 12:40 PM EDT reply actions
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