MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: CONNERY, PLEASE
So as not to forget, as we did last Wednesday: our Mustache Wednesday comes courtesy of reader Jason, who is to credit and blame for making you all see this.
Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!
This is Connery from Zardoz, a 1974 bomb directed by John Boorman featuring this actual line of dialogue:
The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!
Screenwriters: they’re professionals! Don’t fuck with their “craft,” or risk spoiling the next Anaconda or The Notebook. We like Ryan Gosling so much better when he’s smoking crack in between inspirational English classes.
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1
DoubleDawg05 says:
That picture brings up ads for “Gay Bear Dating” on your site, Orson. Reminds me of a youtube video posted on this site not too long ago…
July 16th, 2008 at 9:05 am
2
Doug says:
Jesus H. Christ, that was only three years removed from Connery’s final Bond turn in “Diamonds Are Forever.” How much LSD can a man do in three years?
July 16th, 2008 at 9:05 am
3
White Speed Recieiver says:
Holy shit, Swindle. I’m sleeping with one eye open and my cheeks clenched for the next month.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:07 am
4
Mark says:
This is why bloggers are better than ‘traditional’ sports journalists. You just don’t get this kind of cross-cultural ‘reporting’ in the weekly print columns.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:09 am
5
Biggus Rickus says:
Zardoz is a classic in the movies-so-bad-they’re-awesome genre. And I guess if anyone besides my dad is going to fuck my mom she could do worse than Connery.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:09 am
6
Signal to Noise says:
“The penis mightier, Trebek!”
July 16th, 2008 at 9:10 am
7
SpartanDan says:
Where’s the brain bleach? I need a few gallons of it after that.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:21 am
8
blon57 says:
Sean Connery is the only actor that ever fit the “attracted to older man/daddy” syndrome for me.
That’s moot now.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:21 am
9
kt says:
Good interview on the al.com podcast, Orson.
You sound like you actually know something about football…which is rare for a Florida fan…:-)
July 16th, 2008 at 9:21 am
10
gerry dorsey says:
julia roberts in pretty woman wants her boots back.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:29 am
11
Raider Red says:
Doug obviously doesn’t know his Bond movies.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:46 am
12
beauford @ theonlygamethatmatters says:
Ah – the man-braid mullet. Rare, indeed.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:47 am
13
Allahver Fist says:
He’d be hawter if those suspender strap things were made of thick sliced bacon.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:51 am
14
Bagger Douche says:
Who gets that dressed up for a revolver?
July 16th, 2008 at 9:52 am
15
RaginCajunRebel says:
I’ve actually been told several times that my penis is evil. But then again, my fiance’ is not a good judge of character.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:53 am
16
AllWhoYonder says:
so, it’s bad that I knew exactly what movie and scene that picture was from, right?
July 16th, 2008 at 10:03 am
17
Michigan Gator says:
“Moooo…”
July 16th, 2008 at 10:03 am
18
croc says:
In the vein of AVP, I think a Zardoz vs Conan would be a classic!
July 16th, 2008 at 10:06 am
19
Fred Sanford says:
I think he would have to settle for Moneypenny in that get up. Although Plenty O’Toole might go for it too
I’m too lazy to see if you guys saw the mention of the Fulmer Cup in the AJC the other day. Typical AJC ramblings, making excuses for UGA shenanigans
ajc bs
July 16th, 2008 at 10:12 am
20
Biggus Rickus says:
Didn’t look like excuses so much as rationally assessing the situation and not doing the kneejerk outlaw program story.
July 16th, 2008 at 10:24 am
21
meatybob says:
What is sad is that I am still hairier than he is, but I have a wwwwwwaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy bigger “gun”. Thats right, you know what I’m talking about. And your mom.
July 16th, 2008 at 11:28 am
22
Fred Sanford says:
Yeah? Hows that “character-education program” coming along?
July 16th, 2008 at 11:44 am
23
Biggus Rickus says:
Ah, baiting. Nice.
July 16th, 2008 at 11:53 am
24
DC Trojan says:
Sean Connery got a 98% tax bill, looked at his bank account, did Zardoz, handed the money over to the Inland Revenue, and promptly moved to Spain… where he only had to remove the boots to fit in at the beach.
July 16th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
25
NOLAcane says:
Anaconda was a masterpiece.
“Dey snakes out dere dis big?!?!?”
July 16th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
26
squibby says:
Two favorite parts of Zardoz:
1.) When the Giant Stone Flying Head Thing shoots out all the guns after the speech above.
2.) When all the superpeople chant “impure thoughts” until someones head explodes.
ZARDOZ FOREVER.
July 16th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
27
comoprozac says:
Gosling’s character taught social studies, not English.
July 16th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
28
Z says:
Screenwriters are as professional as that “tool” from Oklahoma who told people that blogs were part of the problem.
July 17th, 2008 at 12:49 am
29
Mr. Pelican Pants says:
Ironically, I think Boorman directed “Deliverance”….plus I think Connery looks like a very gay Burt Reynolds in that get up….
July 17th, 2008 at 10:42 pm