MUSTACHE WEDNESDAY: CONNERY, PLEASE
by Orson on Jul 16, 2008 10:00 AM EDT
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PrintSo as not to forget, as we did last Wednesday: our Mustache Wednesday comes courtesy of reader Jason, who is to credit and blame for making you all see this.
Happy Mustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!
This is Connery from Zardoz, a 1974 bomb directed by John Boorman featuring this actual line of dialogue:
The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!
Screenwriters: they're professionals! Don't fuck with their "craft," or risk spoiling the next Anaconda or The Notebook. We like Ryan Gosling so much better when he's smoking crack in between inspirational English classes.
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That picture brings up ads for “Gay Bear Dating” on your site, Orson. Reminds me of a youtube video posted on this site not too long ago…
by DoubleDawg05 on Jul 16, 2008 10:05 AM EDT reply actions
Jesus H. Christ, that was only three years removed from Connery’s final Bond turn in “Diamonds Are Forever.” How much LSD can a man do in three years?
by Doug on Jul 16, 2008 10:05 AM EDT reply actions
Holy shit, Swindle. I’m sleeping with one eye open and my cheeks clenched for the next month.
by White Speed Recieiver on Jul 16, 2008 10:07 AM EDT reply actions
This is why bloggers are better than ‘traditional’ sports journalists. You just don’t get this kind of cross-cultural ‘reporting’ in the weekly print columns.
by Mark on Jul 16, 2008 10:09 AM EDT reply actions
Zardoz is a classic in the movies-so-bad-they’re-awesome genre. And I guess if anyone besides my dad is going to fuck my mom she could do worse than Connery.
by Biggus Rickus on Jul 16, 2008 10:09 AM EDT reply actions
Where’s the brain bleach? I need a few gallons of it after that.
by SpartanDan on Jul 16, 2008 10:21 AM EDT reply actions
Sean Connery is the only actor that ever fit the “attracted to older man/daddy” syndrome for me.
That’s moot now.
by blon57 on Jul 16, 2008 10:21 AM EDT reply actions
Good interview on the al.com podcast, Orson.
You sound like you actually know something about football…which is rare for a Florida fan…:-)
by kt on Jul 16, 2008 10:21 AM EDT reply actions
julia roberts in pretty woman wants her boots back.
by gerry dorsey on Jul 16, 2008 10:29 AM EDT reply actions
Doug obviously doesn’t know his Bond movies.
by Raider Red on Jul 16, 2008 10:46 AM EDT reply actions
Ah – the man-braid mullet. Rare, indeed.
by beauford @ theonlygamethatmatters on Jul 16, 2008 10:47 AM EDT reply actions
He’d be hawter if those suspender strap things were made of thick sliced bacon.
by Allahver Fist on Jul 16, 2008 10:51 AM EDT reply actions
Who gets that dressed up for a revolver?
by Bagger Douche on Jul 16, 2008 10:52 AM EDT reply actions
I’ve actually been told several times that my penis is evil. But then again, my fiance’ is not a good judge of character.
by RaginCajunRebel on Jul 16, 2008 10:53 AM EDT reply actions
so, it’s bad that I knew exactly what movie and scene that picture was from, right?
by AllWhoYonder on Jul 16, 2008 11:03 AM EDT reply actions
In the vein of AVP, I think a Zardoz vs Conan would be a classic!
by croc on Jul 16, 2008 11:06 AM EDT reply actions
I think he would have to settle for Moneypenny in that get up. Although Plenty O’Toole might go for it too
I’m too lazy to see if you guys saw the mention of the Fulmer Cup in the AJC the other day. Typical AJC ramblings, making excuses for UGA shenanigans
by Fred Sanford on Jul 16, 2008 11:12 AM EDT reply actions
Didn’t look like excuses so much as rationally assessing the situation and not doing the kneejerk outlaw program story.
by Biggus Rickus on Jul 16, 2008 11:24 AM EDT reply actions
What is sad is that I am still hairier than he is, but I have a wwwwwwaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy bigger “gun”. Thats right, you know what I’m talking about. And your mom.
by meatybob on Jul 16, 2008 12:28 PM EDT reply actions
Yeah? Hows that “character-education program” coming along?
by Fred Sanford on Jul 16, 2008 12:44 PM EDT reply actions
Sean Connery got a 98% tax bill, looked at his bank account, did Zardoz, handed the money over to the Inland Revenue, and promptly moved to Spain… where he only had to remove the boots to fit in at the beach.
by DC Trojan on Jul 16, 2008 1:24 PM EDT reply actions
Anaconda was a masterpiece.
“Dey snakes out dere dis big?!?!?”
by NOLAcane on Jul 16, 2008 2:11 PM EDT reply actions
Two favorite parts of Zardoz:
1.) When the Giant Stone Flying Head Thing shoots out all the guns after the speech above.
2.) When all the superpeople chant “impure thoughts” until someones head explodes.
ZARDOZ FOREVER.
by squibby on Jul 16, 2008 2:44 PM EDT reply actions
Gosling’s character taught social studies, not English.
by comoprozac on Jul 16, 2008 5:58 PM EDT reply actions
Screenwriters are as professional as that “tool” from Oklahoma who told people that blogs were part of the problem.
by Z on Jul 17, 2008 1:49 AM EDT reply actions
Ironically, I think Boorman directed “Deliverance”….plus I think Connery looks like a very gay Burt Reynolds in that get up….
by Mr. Pelican Pants on Jul 17, 2008 11:42 PM EDT reply actions
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