This week's admittedly static Fulmer Cupdate comes courtesy of Brian, who even on slow days is hung like Reggie F'n Nelson.

Alabama remains atop the standings thanks to Jimmy Johns yayopalooza. With no charges dismissed and little on the horizon in the way of charge dismissals, the bar is set: Alabama is coming out of the Alps with a twenty minute lead and safely ensconced in the peloton, while everyone else is blood-doping and swigging liquid EPO trying to keep up. Missouri and West Virginia...well? We're waiting, Danny.

Other than that, it's naptime going into the stretch. Someone wake us when Rampage Jackson signs an LOI with UCLA and proceeds to drive his truck over the Bruins last remaining quarterback.