CURIOUS INDEX, 7/16/08
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It’s Wednesday. Time for Girl Talk. We always thought Chicago and the Quad City DJs were a natural match. Notre Dame announces their new AD today, and he is no one. Okay, he exists, and is some one, but he is a first-time AD who’s never managed an athletic program before, which seems to go with Notre Dame’s overall “hey, you wanna try something here, guy?” approach to hiring as of late. John “Jack” Swarbrick is a lawyer and is partly responsible for the Super Bowl coming to Indianapolis, and is therefore a favorite of every sportswriter three and a half years in advance due to his creation of easy “Indianapolis sucks” columns for Super Bowl week. Hiring an inexperienced AD usually means they get to play the part of compliant asphalt to some steamroller; whether that’s Weis, the administration, or both remains to be seen. Little Ball of Hate: ROCK. Trey Blackmon has the finest nickname in contemporary college football: “Little Ball of Hate.” Frankly, only two names could top this: one, whoever “Big Ball of Hate” is, and two, our proposed nickname for the position Jasper Brinkley plays at South Carolina, the “Thundercock Linebacker” position. We really just want that to be spoken on air by an ESPN personality just to watch the sweat stain their collar. 698 slots available; market value, $10,651 each. Care to quantify expectations for Georgia fans? Exactly 698 slots opened up for season tickets thanks to the usual attrition (death or tightened budgets, we guess,) and the going price shot up to over ten grand for each one for 2008. Ah, angsty teeth-gnashing over the toxic mixture of cash and college athletics! Wait, we’re sorry, this is the SEC. ROCK OUR TICKETS DONE COST MORE THAN URS WOOOOOO!!!! Get money! Further online defections. Alert the authorities. Chip Brown of the Dallas Morning-News is headed to Rivals, per our golden “sources.” Brown’s departure, along with that of Wendell Barnhouse to the Big 12’s website, takes two of the biggest names in Big 12 sportswriting to the dark side of these mean internets. [/finger tent, quiet laughing.] |
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1
sullivan013 says:
During the bowl prep week, Auburn runs a scrimidge where the redshirts get to play against the first team in a closed practice that is only attended by the team. According to rumors, during his redshirt season, Tray Blackmon delivered such a hit on starting RB Kenny Irons that both benches cleared to mob him in admiration, halting practice for several minutes.
This is how legends are created.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKnCbvsxDGc&feature=related
July 16th, 2008 at 8:09 am
2
wooderson says:
I wouldn’t underestimate Swarbrick. Take a peek at his resume, he’s been pretty active in the sports field for three decades now. He was a finalist for the NCAA presidency, Big XII commissionership, and a couple of other AD roles. Seeing how he’s pretty good at football-type negotiations, the BCS negotiating table could get a lot more interesting in the years to come.
He certainly won’t be the pantywaist that White was at those meetings.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:09 am
3
Hayley Lafontaine is a Dumpster Muffin says:
Correct me if I’m wrong, but Jasper Brinkley could easily qualify for both “Thundercock Linebacker” and “Big Ball of Hate”
July 16th, 2008 at 8:10 am
4
JeffAU says:
The Husker fan who posted the hoax story on OU player dealin’ has been sued by the Daily Oklahoman:
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/spt/stories/071608dntexbogusarticle.5a34ab14.html
Does being sued for copyright and trademark infringement get you much street cred in the world of the interwebs?
July 16th, 2008 at 8:14 am
5
ehrenb2 says:
Anyone running an EDSBS online dynasty for NCAA 09? :-p
July 16th, 2008 at 8:14 am
6
PW says:
#1
I believe Orson posted a video on here before last season similar to the one you mentioned featuring Major Wright (the lone bright spot in UF’s secondary) absolutely obliterating fellow freshman Chris Rainey in practice.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:15 am
7
PW says:
by the way, that’s Major Wright’s nickname– “The Lone Bright Spot in UF’s Secondary”
doesn’t have the same ring to it as “Thundercock” though
July 16th, 2008 at 8:20 am
8
Ryno says:
One wonders if Blackmon hits the books equally hard.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:21 am
9
Orson Swindle says:
If we’re talking about Auburn, that might literally be a class: “The Physics of Running into Books at High Speed.”
July 16th, 2008 at 8:24 am
10
White Speed Recieiver says:
You whiffed on the ND AD, Swindle. Internazionale Immobiliare is running the show.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:25 am
11
okiedomer says:
just to clarify, swarbrick will be the compliant asphault for the administration, who themselves are compliant asphault for the regents and other big money donors
these are the people who pushed out willingham, former president monk malloy, and white, and while they do wield a strikingly large amount of power, i cannot look at the list of people they’ve pushed out and doubt their judgment
(b/c if i did they’d have me killed)
July 16th, 2008 at 8:28 am
12
Orson Swindle says:
We always assumed it was the Illuminati.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:41 am
13
Biggus Rickus says:
okiedomer,
They’d probably only remove your tongue and fingers to keep you from expressing your disagreements. Maybe your toes too, just to be safe.
/to the pain
July 16th, 2008 at 8:43 am
14
OhioDawg says:
Would the etymology of “ball of hate” go through Jim Rome? The hanful of times I’ve listened to him, that seems to have come up.
Even assuming that Swarbrick has great experience – which seems to be the case – I wonder why a program like ND wouldn’t get someone with experience.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:49 am
15
Chickenskratch says:
Your awesome appreciation of Brinkley’s incredibly awesome awesomeness is noted and appreciated by the South Carolina faithful.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:49 am
16
Crabapple Buck says:
While ND apologists may claim another coup in the hiring wars, there remains one undeniable fact. Until ND shows it can produce on the field and get the ratings for its below standard broadcasts to improve, their bargaining power at the negotiating table is muted. Since I am of the belief that the likes of SDSU is not a big draw, that may be a tough order.
In addition, they have had their foot in the water long enough concerning a conference. Either get in or get out. ND is too scared to join the Big 10/11, despite being in the heart of Big 10/11 country. The Big East would fit their path of least resistance strategy, but still leave them in a no win situation. In the mean time, maybe they can schedule IPFW at a neutral site to fill out their schedule.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:49 am
17
Boston Nick says:
Come on now. Little Ball of Hate is now, and forever will be, the nickname of former NHL forward Pat Verbeek.
Blackmon can borrow it, but don’t you Southerners ever forget where it came from.
That’s a nickname so damn good, it could only originate in hockey.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:55 am
18
Doug says:
Orson @ #9 — I always thought that was how Auburn students absorbed the information in their textbooks. I sure as shit didn’t think they actually read them.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:04 am
19
Son of Zoltan says:
Gotta second that, ‘Little Ball of Hate’ is and always will be the nickname of NHL journeyman forward Pat Verbeek.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:25 am
20
The Snake will Drive Again! says:
Was it the OBC who stated something to the effect that “it’s a shame becuase some of the books haven’t been colored in yet” when the library on the plains went up in flames during a game?
July 16th, 2008 at 9:25 am
21
wooderson says:
Okie domer, the people you justl isted all deserved to be pushed out long before they actually were.
Crapabble buck, our foot has never been in the water regarding any conference, so I don’t know where you get that line of thinking from.
They invited us in the 90’s and we said no. End of story.
you need to get your facts straight, but this being the interwebz, maybe you don’t have to.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:28 am
22
DoofusInABox says:
The “Little Ball of Hate” is Jennifer Floyd Engel of the Ft. Worth Star Telegram.
It’s possible Verbeek pre-dated her for usage, but she’s like 900 and a vampire, so I doubt it.
So congrats Auburn, stealing your nicknames from chick sportswriters. This is atleast a step up from Ben “Fuck Jesus” Obamanu
July 16th, 2008 at 9:33 am
23
chuy says:
21-
ND isn’t part of the Big East in some sports? Really?
July 16th, 2008 at 9:36 am
24
karlhungus12 says:
If Blackmon every gets to play an entire season, he may actually live up to his potential. As for the nickname, I think he’s had it since high school.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:37 am
25
maskedavenger says:
They invited us in the 90’s and we said no [despite significant support of the faculty that wanted access to the Big Ten's academic CIC arm nearly leading to the merger]. End of story.
Fixed that.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:39 am
26
Geaux Irish says:
Wooderson, I think CB is talking about how ND is a) part of the Big East sans football and b) plays a heavy Big Televen schedule in September.
But to your point, the last invitation for ND & the Big 10/11 was made by the Big 10 back in early 1999. ND looked at it and said no (much to Monk’s dismay). ND wanted to have access to the educational resources of the Big 10 but not share in the sports revenue (a la U of Chicago*). That was where things hit a standstill.
* U of Chicago gets the Big 10 academic benefits because they were once part of the Big 10 in athletics.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:40 am
27
Allahver Fist says:
I thought Little Ball of Hate was Saban’s motorcade call sign.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:43 am
28
Crabapple Buck says:
Wooderson may not be aware there are other sports being played at ND. BTW Wooderson, ND is a Big East member outside of football, as G.I. pointed out. I guess if it ain’t on NBC, you wouldn’t know.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:46 am
29
OhioDawg says:
#25 – Nice factoid re U. of Chicago. Thanks.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:47 am
30
GamecockTony says:
@Boston Nick – I always thought “Little Ball of Hate” was Ray Ferraro?! I know he is “Chicken Parm”, also.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:50 am
31
Bagger Douche says:
Don’t let Georgia Tech find out about the U of Chicago thing. Next thing ya know they’ll want access to Auburn’s academic resources.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:55 am
32
wooderson says:
Really Buck? There’s other sports? I didn’t fucking notice, you idiot.
Last I checked, this is a football site, and that’s what we’re discussing.
Speaking of which, our new AD has truckloads of experience in that department.
If you want to get all uppity about olympic sports, why don’t you go worry about why you’re not in the Big 1X for hockey. Oh crap, you mean the Big1X doesn’t have a hockey set up so you’re forced to play in a different conference for that sport? Well shoot. don’t that beat all.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:58 am
33
wooderson says:
And Gaeux, Irish, I’m thrilled Monk is gone. He was ruining the best parts of our school. No one I know was happy that we even considered joining.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:59 am
34
Crabapple Buck says:
Since ND was 0-4 in the Big 10/11 last year (yet 2-1 in the Pac 10), maybe you should get back to us when you are relevant in football. Percentagewise, you would be tied with Minnesota. If “Olympic sports” don’t matter, why does ND have teams playing them? And charge admission for them too? While you are at it, return the money that you got for your brief appearance in the NCAA basketball tournament since that is an Olympic sport also. Hold on tight, that high horse you’re on could buck. Keep that haughty attitude, while you slip further into football purgatory. You just confirm the stereotype of the ND fan.
July 16th, 2008 at 10:20 am
35
drone says:
Hey queef, I mean, Buck–
Suck it.
that is all.
July 16th, 2008 at 10:27 am
36
White Speed Recieiver says:
Come on, let’s leave the Minnesota bashing out of the Notre Dame bashing. We never hurt nobody.
And Wooderson, part of the reason there’s no Big Televen conference in hockey is that there isn’t televen teams, and the other part is that places like Denver, North Dakota, Colorado College, Mankato, Duluth, and St. Cloud couldn’t compete in D1 in football, but are decent-to-great hockey programs.
July 16th, 2008 at 10:37 am
37
CockDonor says:
Henceforth, South Carolina’s nickname shall be “The Fabulous Thundercocks.”
Wait, is that gay?
Either way, it’s awesome.
July 16th, 2008 at 10:37 am
38
Domer Guy says:
You are all my children and I love you all equally.
July 16th, 2008 at 10:39 am
39
Purple(& gold) people eater says:
#34, +100 to you good sir!
July 16th, 2008 at 10:40 am
40
hunglikehussain says:
Blackman quote concerning Georgia…”We need to outhit them, we need to outwork them.”
Uh Tray, you need to CATCH them and not by the face mask.
Concerning the UGA donation requirements, I thought that the $1600 I shelled out annually (plus the cost of the tickets) was the norm among major football programs. If you are a season ticket holder out there in EDSBSland, what is your annual extortion?
/looking at an old geezer two rows from me with aisle seats
July 16th, 2008 at 10:40 am
41
The Song of Hiawatha Francisco says:
While ND apologists may claim another coup in the hiring wars
There are hiring wars? ND went out and hired a Notre Dame graduate who is smart, well-respected and very experienced in football and Olympic sports matters. No one knows at this point if that’s a “coup” or not. We alums and fans hope it is.
there remains one undeniable fact. Until ND shows it can produce on the field and get the ratings for its below standard broadcasts to improve, their bargaining power at the negotiating table is muted.
First, you were groping for a colon, not a period, in the first sentence. Second, noting that Notre Dame needs to improve on the field to improve it’s bargaining position is not anything resembling a profound insight, but thanks for agreeing with the roughly 3,895 editorials that were written when ND’s BCS deal was renegotiated. Third, how is Notre Dame in control of NBC’s substandard broadcast? I’ll bet it’s in the contract that NBC won’t try to coach the team and Notre Dame won’t try to produce the telecast.
Since I am of the belief that the likes of SDSU is not a big draw, that may be a tough order.
Which bargaining table? NBC extended ND’s deal on the heels of a 3-8 season, so you must be talking about ND’s BCS deal. What does ND’s regular season schedule have to do with its bowl payout? I think the fact that Notre Dame was selected for 2 BCS bowls — in which the Irish were ridiculously overmatched both years — shows that ND football brings television and in-person revenue. So what in the world are you talking about?
In addition, they have had their foot in the water long enough concerning a conference. Either get in or get out.
If you say so, then it must be so. Alert the Board of Trustees!
ND is too scared to join the Big 10/11, despite being in the heart of Big 10/11 country.
As has been pointed out above, this is laughingly, horribly, embarrassingly wrong.
The Big East would fit their path of least resistance strategy
What? I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about. Odds that you don’t either: 100%!
but still leave them in a no win situation.
On this, I agree. Notre Dame football loses by joining a conference. Olympic sports and basketball win, and that’s why every sport except football competes in the Big East. What was your point, then?
In the mean time, maybe they can schedule IPFW at a neutral site to fill out their schedule.
Wow. A thousand gallons of irony spilt, and not a drop lands on you. Your team plays Youngstown State, Ohio and Troy — at home! — along with such conference giants as Minnesota and Northwestern and you’re talking trash? (By the way, “meantime” is one word. I know English is hard, but try.)
July 16th, 2008 at 10:46 am
42
The Song of Hiawatha Francisco says:
Aaaaand, in bashing another’s grammar skillz, I fucked up “it’s” and “its.” I am a stupid, non-proofreading asshole.
July 16th, 2008 at 10:49 am
43
sandman227 says:
#22
I listened to her radio show during a trip to Dallas last year….”awful” doesn’t even begin to describe it.
July 16th, 2008 at 10:52 am
44
wooderson says:
Hiawatha Francisco FTW.
WSR, I’m well versed in the intricacies of the CCHA, and yet I’m utterly befuddled how we manage to have Alaska-Fairbanks in our conference.
And Buck, like I said, this is a football website, which why we’re discussing football. If you want to bitch about how our basketball program is in the Big East, go do it at 35Seconds or something. Becuase I could care less.
And for the record, we turned down the Big Least in football when everyone was jumping ship. so that’s two conference membership denials in a decade, both initiated by the conferences in question.
But alas, Hiawatha is far mroe eloquent than I.
Besides, Shouldn’t you be masturbating in a library soemwhere buck?
July 16th, 2008 at 11:08 am
45
Diamond M says:
#22 and #43 — Thankfully, she is now off the air, although Colin Cowherd isn’t much better. I used to love it when she was on vacation and Chuck Cooperstein filled in.
July 16th, 2008 at 11:13 am
46
Diamond M says:
Oh, and can someone send a memo to EVERYONE misusing this phrase:
It is “I COULDN’T care less.” If you “could” care less, then you must care at least a little bit.
Big pet peeve. Drives me crazy.
July 16th, 2008 at 11:16 am
47
PeteJayhawk says:
Let us not forget that the original “Big Ball of Hate” was Ray Ferraro (aka Chicken Parm).
July 16th, 2008 at 11:17 am
48
hunglikehussain says:
@41
Lighten up, paddy.
July 16th, 2008 at 11:19 am
49
Will (the other one) says:
Didn’t the Auburn Anglish (sic) Dept. recently name James Brooks Professor Emeritus?
And now that ND has gone a different way in their “AD who’s never been an AD” I’ll have to scalp my way into UGA games this season. The UT fans’ mullets are pretty good handles for scalping at least…
July 16th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
50
hobeg8r says:
@ 40 – HLH -
UF Boosters –
Bull Gator – $13,000 + annually allows you to purchase 8 tickets (subject to availability)
Gold Gator – $8,000 – $12,999 – 6 tickets
Scholarship Club – $4,200 – $7,999 – 4 tickets
Scholarship Partner – $2,500 – $4,199 – 2 tickets
July 16th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
51
hunglikehussain says:
@50 hobeg8tr
Wow, a k per ticket will get you in the skybox at Sanford. Air-conditioning, catered meals, probably an open bar, clowns, hookers, etc.
/just my imagination
July 16th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
52
Allahver Fist says:
Hussain, check this out.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
53
Judegeduce says:
Man I love Girl Talk! Orson you need to post something from Feed the Animals. Best free album I ever downloaded.
July 16th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
54
Steve O says:
Wait a second! The Big 10 doesn’t get to share in the University of Chicago’s athletic revenues?!?
July 16th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
55
DoofusInABox says:
…sadly, she’s spreading her period blood over more of the FWST.
The StartleGram used to beat the DaMN in Ranger coverage, but now that’s pathetic as well.
If the DaMN has gone down hill, the FWST fell off a fucking cliff. There’s not one columnist between the two worth reading outside of Gosselin.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
56
Dinknflicka says:
Doofus…I don’t know demographics, but the last time I checked Dallas, Forth Worth and, mostly, the whole state of Texas is a bigger radio market than the Redneck Rivieria.
If you don’t mind, assbag, I’ll defer to you as a viable critic of sports-talk radio the day you find yourself doing morning drive time somewhere bigger than America’s Taint.
Your show and the remainder of your programming schedule sucks. Please try to find a way to get better in the near future. Your loyal listeners in the Florida panhandle deserve better.
July 17th, 2008 at 2:15 am