EDSBS LIVE: REDNECK SEC EDITION

1) I would have to go with one of the new trends in Columbia: buying condos for tailgating. I’m not talking about some cheap ass condo. We’re talking hardwood floors, granite counter tops, nicer than my house condos. What in the hell? Further, there are people in the SEC that buy deeds for tailgating spots. Deeds!! Unreal.

2) I’m going to go with Clemson. They would know how to grow crops and raise cows and such.

3) The Fightin Tebows

4) Learning Arabic and using rogaine on eyebrows in order to blend in.

1. Ole Miss’ unofficial fight song, which they play to root on a team that is a majority of black players, is the hymn of the CSA

2. Arkansas. If you can call or catch a (wild) hog, the sky is the limit.

3. I’ll tell you who’s NOT the cream of the crop, that dag-blasted Big 10! Their automatic BCS berth sould be removed!

4. Voting for the hot girl in the CI this morning’s father, AM I RIGHT?!

“Our bets are on LSU fans, but only ’cause they’d eat people. We seen ‘em do it. "

They say you are what you eat, so I guess I’m a pussy.

1. The slo-mo (Slow Your Roll!) wave. What ever happened to that? Kamikaze halftime was the best idea ever invented in the history of earth, so of course, it had to be stopped.

2. I’ll go with Kentucky. They’ve got the horses, and the bourbon.

3. The mini-Ditkas.

4. Honing my skillz by playing as much GTA4 as humanly possible. Because GTA4 is why they hate us, man. So play it, we must.

Did you know that Gretchen Wilson, darling of the American South, hails from Illinois, the land of Lincoln? It is true. Dang turn coat! A traitor to the Union!

What’s the time? Last week it was 8:30 but usually it’s 9:30.

+11 LSU Freek.

1. The unoriginality of their mascots (33.3 percent Bulldogs or Tigers) and cheers (It’s great…to be…a [insert school name + mascot here]).

2. Ark-in-saw. Wearing plastic pig hats prevents exposure from nuclear fallout.

3. Oklahoma. Bob won’t let them forget about two humiliating Fiesta Bowl losses in a row.
 
4. Rooting for American riders to win the Tour Day France. I’ll be using my Garmin to find the nearest Chipotle restaurant, thank you very much.

I’ll let my inner redneck come out after that video clip:

DAAAAAAAAAADGUM! Did you see that sucker!?

Hearing Uncle Jesse say “Fuck” put a new spin on Dukes.

used the phrase “done been” without irony.

…dammit.

I’m completely unqualified for both this thread and this show.

If we have to eat you, at least we’ll make it taste good.

Signed,
LSU fan

These questions need a fuckin’ siren!

Hold on to the gun you pussy!

1. Using pom poms to stir whiskey into our stadium bought Cokes.

2. Tennessee. They can survive the holocaust by feeding off their own body fat for ten thousand years.

3. The Gymdogs. Covered in cream.

4. Building up my arsenal of pneumatic potato guns.

1) The tattoos. Getting a full body poster of Bear Bryant permanently attached to your back might be grounds for being declared criminally insane in the north.

2) Iowa. They might already be part cockroach.

3) The Tebows.

4) I protect America by keeping her economy strong. I only buy American porn with American porn starlets.

1- The Auburn Tigers having an Eagle for a mascot. 2- Any Ag student from UGA, Au, Clemson,or UF. Yes, You do have a damn good Ag Dept down there. 3- The UGA defense, Them boys come to hit, jus’ ass that Brennan feller. 5- I’m-a- gonna mount Me a turrent with twin 50s on top o the pick-up. Then You can tell them A-rabs to come get apiece o My ass!

This is going to be the best EDSBS live ever.

I expect the siren to be played every 25 seconds. FUCK YEAH I luv murrica!

1) Hotty Toddy Potties in Oxford, MS; 2) Alabama fans who can live 25 years off a dead Bear; 3) best TEAM in all the land, Auburn Tigers who are somehow in the top 10 with only one first team All-SEC player in Athlons, who is the kicker; team to beat, UGA; 4) boycotting Budweiser ‘cause I don’t buy foreign beer.

1.) Diabetes
2.) In the case of nuclear winter no SEC fans would survive because it would become to cold for them.
3.) Fu Manchu and the Fresno State Bulldogs
4.) If I told you I would have to kill you

I can’t hear any sound and my volume is turned all the way up on my comp. I remember once a long time ago when I was able to listen to an EDSBS Live show so I dunno why it’s not working now.

Am I the only who who noticed that two people put Clemson in the SEC?

1. LSD cheer, circa early 1970s, dont know if they still use dis (help me LSUfreek). “piping hot boudin, cold couscous. Come on Tigers, push, push, push.”

2. I just spent a day south of Eastman, GA. The Commies would never give a rat’s ass about that area. Gawga.

3. The Dookies. There’s nowhere to go but up. Plus, I need to have my yard cleaned up.

4. Emailin episodes of Squidbillies to Hu Jintao, saying, “this whatya will git ifn y’all comeon down south”.

1) Buying space on a billboard to mock a rival team after a humiliating loss. It’s tacky and crazy, the essence of SEC fandom.

2) LSU fans, easy. Surviving in swampland is downright Arrakian in its physical and spiritual fortification.

3) Ala-goddam-bama, mother fucker! SABAN!!

4) I have a five-point plan involving bourbon, M80s, the cast of Petticoat Junction, shotguns and Molly Hatchet. I can’t really get into the details, but trust me, it’s foolproof.

Before I answer let me say I am greatly offended by this horrible stereotyping…

1. Showing up on Tuesday in your RV for a Saturday game.

2. Auburn. Two words: Animal husbandry.

3. Why, the team that invented southern football, of course. Alabama.

4. Voting for McCain?

What do you mean Climpson ain’t in the essssseeeceee? “We got no-necked oil men from Texas, good old boys from Tenn, college boys from LSU, went in dumb, come out dumb too, hustlin’ round Atlanta inTheir Alligator shoes, gettin’ drunk every weekend at bar-b-ques……” Randy Newman-“Rednecks”

… And we’re keeping the Big 10 down.

The drunken spider monkey y’all have running sound has finally captured the auditory ambience I think y’all are going for. Namely, Orson stuck in a well talking to Bean through soup cans and string with Clay yelling at them through a bullhorn.

1. The 4-day region-wide funeral for UGA VI.

2. Mississippi State. Visit Aubun and Starkville in the same day and tell me I’m wrong.

3. The Gretchen Wilson of football is Jerrell Powe because, like Wilson, he may not have finished high school the same way you did, but he did it, by God!

4. Attempting to popularize “Carry Your Gun to Work Day.”