CORRECTIONS, 7/11/2008

Cookieland Seasyde Hollyberry – I am offended people name their pets like this.

Mostly, because of the spelling of “Seasyde”.

This dog is doomed to a life of spinning around hydrants for dollar bills.

How in the hell did you get a phone interview with Saban?

@1: Sure, you can cast aspersions now, but when it came time to name the dog, “Steve” was taken, then “Barfie” was too, and they panicked. Happens to the best of us.

Wait – is that the shot of Tommy Bowden giving the “Mission Accomplished” thumbs up after landing on a carrier, but then realizing later he hasn’t won or even been in the ACC championship game since FSU joined the league?

Just making sure.

Stupid shit that you never before knew dept:

I knew that a female dog was a “bitch”, but I never knew a male dog was a “dog”.

Is it rageberry season already?

This week’s corrections are mediocre at best; maybe I was wrong about Holly’s non-posted attempt at last week’s corrections. After careful consideration I now believe that Holly does indeed add a witty and charming style to the weekly corrections.

PS. I’m not saying this just because Holly broke it off in me over my spelling, grammar or pathetic attempt at creating a humorous blog.

Thanks for the Bowden picture. I almost fell out of my seat laughing, which is proof that I enjoy “a sad and juvenile moment” at any time!

I thought Nickerdoodles required war eagle tail feathers (thus the reason he didn’t fix any last year).

@ #4

Actually, OOC, that picture of Tommy was taken a few years ago after his 63-17 shellacking of the Cocks in Columbia. After the game the South Carolina Air National Guard took him on a flyover of Billy Brice stadium, where they dropped a small laser-guided bomb that leveled the one circular ramp that was left standing. Upon his return to McIntire Air Base, he did indeed give a thumbs up and “Mission Accomplished” as the assembled airmen cheered him and gave each other gay “Top Gun” high fives.

James Caan and the ESU Wolves were forced to find another stadium to play in the following season.

#5
I live with two terrier bitches (the canine variety, just in case you weren’t sure) and one male terrier. The male can attest that the term fits perfectly, especially when the younger bitch is in heat. Canine females are aptly named. That’s probably why the term has such a derogatory meaning for the two-legged variety.

When naming a purebred dog/bitch, you usually use the kennel prefix and any other alliance names that accompany the pedigree. (AKC only allows a certain number of letters for each name so that complicates the process even more.) Then, if any letter spaces are left, you can throw in whatever name you want. Dogs get some very stupid names. Just watch a dog show.

God, how I missed Ned. Welcome back my friend.

Alright, isn’t this the point as my IBD, that would Investment Banking Division, friends would say that they cut her loose?

It has not been funny for a month.

Feel free to get as uppity with me as you want, but Dear Lord, she is great with the Laff Riots, but keep her away from the EDSBS, where things matter.

I get you don’t care for moi, but I do represent the people who follow the blog, and who gave you a job outside of reality.

Honestly, it was all fun in games until SN came up to bat…

seriously…

I mean, seriously…

Coop, thinking thoughts and putting words to them is not your strong point, and you may want to stop trying.

Coop— Are you sure you just aren’t in cheesecake withdrawal? :)

What we wouldn’t give for a BHGP/Coop Krav Maga match.

1. - I really hope you are being sarcastic Coop.

I look forward to The Corrections almost as much as I look forward to the Fulmer Cupdates.

No, Coop doesn’t do sarcasm. He has two settings, Crotchety and Nap. It’s part of his….charm? That the word?

Coop – Let’s get real clear on one thing; you represent only yourself – and you do that rather poorly.
I rather read 10,000 poorly written Corrections post (which none have been) than any of the asinine dribble you call a comment.
To quote Gene Hackman’s character in “Crimson Tide” – “Now shut the fuck up!”

@11: Thanks for the info. Apparently folks haven’t been paying attention to recent headlines, or they would have come across these fun AKC-registered names: Hood’s Ole Dan, Ole Dan’s Uga, Seiler’s Uga Three, Uga III’s Magillicuddy, Uga IV’s Magillicuddy II, and Uga V’s Whatchagot Loran (better known by their noms de champ (um, noms de gril? de guerre? I’ll stick with champ for its charming entendu doublement), Uga I, Uga II, Uga III, Uga IV, Uga V, and Uga VI).

And for someone who’s a constant reader of my own blog according to my hit tracker, Coop’s being awfully cavalier. You and I both know you can’t stay away, you big lug. Kisses!

1. - I was always of the opinion that BHGP fighting style was more of Dhalsim in Street Fighter, with the stretchy limbs. Also, I have it on good authority that Lighter + Hawkeye Vodka = Fire-breathing.

@tCOAN,

No. He’s just a Clemson grad.

Holly – fire up the Orville Redenbacher.
Or Jiffy Pop. Your choice.

You may have inaccurately reported on Bomar, but I would argue that the mistake was that this has yet to happen. It will happen, though maybe not with him selling ham. Probably herding and selling the fur of llamas. But, yes, on the roadside. That guy carries the greatest combination of arrogant and stupid that I’ve seen since Buster Rhymes shot off his machine-gun in the middle of a snowball fight at Owen Field. Bomar sat a couple of rows behind me at a Hornets game (when they were in OKC). Was he 21? No. Was he easily recognizable by any and everyone there? Yes. Did he have beer? Absolutely, and it was as if he wanted everyone to see what a badass he was in that he can drink beer. Maybe he can, but not half as well as Phil Loadholt.

Psssttt, Coop…..byline.

#24

What I found amazing was his arrogance and disbelief that he could possibly have any culpability in OU’s problem with the NCAA. He only seemed concern with his welfare, not how his actions affected the university or his teammates.

Most people were just agape at his cavalier attitude about the incident.

I bet his parents are proud.

The cover by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes is teh r0xx0rz.

Coop, what #25 said. This was Orson’s doing this week.

Countdown to Coop Rant [Redacted] in 3…2…

Careful what you say, Coop, that’s the future Mrs. Doug you’re talkin’ about there.

@#10…. I think you mean he was greeted by his ANG crew with Iron Eagle high 5’s and Member’s Only jacket witha cool silk screen on back. Top Gun is Cool, its flying on carriers. Tommy Bowden and USAF flying… not cool.

Just to clear this up: (It’s in bold so you know it’s important!) For the most part, the Corrections are a collaborative effort, every week, no matter whose byline’s in there. So if you think these suck, kindly refrain from throwing our Fearless Leader under the bus. Half the blame is mine.

And if you think these suck and yet can’t stop yourself from reading my personal blog five times a day….well, you and Coop might have a lot to talk about.

Holly, that sounds like a proposal to me. Let me be the first to say……Congratulations.

/wiping tear from eye

Btw, if you are looking for a Wedding coordinator, the ladies that arranged this nuptial extravaganza are available.

http://www.macon.com/403/gallery/397503-a397223-t3.html

What can I say; it was love at first Stuff Orange And White People Like.

Holly, I love corrections. No way is there any avidity on my part concerning Coop’s diatribes.

No, I know. Just making sure everyone knows that whether it’s genius or stupid, it’s a shared effort week in and week out.

holly @ 34

why can’t it be both?

Excellent point.

meh

Ned vs the FARC. brilliant.

and this explains all those rumors of foreign assistance with the rescue that have been floating around the last week or so.

Holly, I absolutely love the Corrections-I look forward to them every week. You and Orson do a great job together. Carry on!!!

Coop, let’s be clear, you don’t represent anything. You chased me around EDSBS like Don Quixote for months, attacking my blog, my writing ability, and my partners, for reasons that are still unknown. I asked you why, but you never responded. I requested that you take your complaints to BHGP, you know, a blog I actually write for, and you refused. I asked you to take it offline to discuss it, you said you would, but you didn’t. Be crabby. Be curmudgeonly. Be provocative. Whatever. Just stop misrepresenting yourself as someone to be reckoned with. You strike out blindly at people far beyond your pay grade, and in this case, at two writers who happen to be the best in the business. It’s too bad you fail at life so badly that you have nothing to add to the world but bile. You suck at the internets too, brah, and you’re not speaking for anyone, not even the cowards, which you are. Now I know you want to come back with something, but don’t.
Be still.

I may be nearly alone in this, but of all the memes that come and go around here—to me? Ned NEVER stops being funny.

Another yeomans effort Holly and Orson on the corrections. Coop must be off his meds again.

And Holly – you are so right, Ned NEVER gets old.

also, coop, i’m wanting to know what drugs i need to take to get myself one of those “jobs outside of reality” you speak of. for research purposes only, of course.

NEVER trust anyone name Coop. EVER.

What exactly is a “job outside of reality”?

I think I might like one of those. I don’t care all that much for my reality job right now.

#30

I just meant the gay high-low “I got the need, the need for speed!” high fives from Top Gun, I assumed everyone could picture that. I didn’t think anyone but me and the Air Force Academy cadets class of 1985 remembered Iron Eagle. Well played, sir!

One Vision!

hunglikehussain @ 32 – c’mon, a joke’s a joke, but a little warning about what lay on the other side of that link would have been nice. Those colors may or may not run, but I bolted.

DC,welcome to my world. It’s hot and humid. Folks work hard, but spend money on stupid things. Sanctity is found in a mud pit. The Bard put it in much better words:

Fear no more the heat o’ the sun,
Nor the furious winter’s rages;
Thou thy worldly task hast done,
Home art gone, and ta’en thy wages;
Golden lads and girls all must,
As chimney-sweepers, come to dust (or mud).

You may think this is a eulogy, to me it’s “par for the course” around these parts. Hot, broke, drunken, bankrupt ’necks jumping into sodden earth.

Having lived in 10 of the 48 continental states and 2 countries abroad, this is home.

Ta-ta

hunglikehussain @ I was objecting only to the stars-and-bars crotch shot. While I’ve never had the urge to jump in a mud pit, I am pleased that others find it entertaining. It’s the simple things in life that matter.

Add another one to the “Coop is utterly, laughably wrong” camp. The recent Corrections haven’t been as good as the first few batches, but that’s kind of like bitching that after a first-round 59, you “only” managed to shoot 65 in the second. Most people’s best writing can’t match the worst I’ve seen here.

Corrections = super lols

Incidentally, is there a form I can fill out to opt out of being represented by cranky bastards with sand in their vaginas?

Nickerdoodles. awesome.

Does this mean Tommy ’Tuber’ville has a potato recipe for us?

hunglikehussain @ 32

Was that Colonel Angus in that picture?

I absolutely think I’ll be trying out the Nickerdoodles for my kickoff party for the Bama/Clemson game. Should be a big hit!

arrrr me little mateys… ye sure love to stir up a tempest in a teapot when there’s no pigskin topics to discuss

I have one question for whoever authored those photos… is someone photoshopping Tuberville’s ears onto Bowden’s head or is this just one of those ‘right after the shower’ moments?

wait… the photo is from LSUfreek – probably each ear is composed of thousands of pixels of Dumbo’s ears…loveingly assembled in the shape of a ‘D’ to resemble the NotreDame logo

and the tie is likely ’shopped from the bikini spread the “BearBryant twins” are doing for the upcoming Playboy spread on college girls

quite a work of art there ya swabby

@55

Could be, although the Cuhnal ‘round ’bout these part is busy as a bee burnin’ the brush. Keeps the ticks and fleas at bay.