CURIOUS INDEX, 7/10/2008

Alright give West Vagina and Michigan each 3 years to get their respective programs in order and then we can have them schedule each other nonconference. On the Thursday before the battle, with 30 minute quarters, Billy Baloo and DickRod will square off in a square circle with flames on every side, to ensure there is no escape, and they will spout off no homo jokes.

Is HIS COACHNESS listed as a Pete Carroll fan? Just wondering.

Ah, the baggage of dickrod fills yet another trunk…the tendrils of bile and slime are deeply intertwined between WFV and UM…with no end in sight. Don’t know about UM but them ‘eers have long memories…I did hear of a recent burning of Blowden in effigy, and he’s been reFSU’s resident corpse for decades.

It needs to be either “whose” awesome or “you’re” awesome.

Or both

Every time you see the name “Rodriquez” in a article in an West Virginia newspaper, you have to drink.

I wanted to be the Grammar Nazi who pointed out the mistakes in that poster. Curses.

#6

I never would have guessed the literacy rate there to be so high.

@ #7

It could be D Erickson’s Awesome. Orson seems quite smitten with him.

Got to love a Corn-shucking fan that feels the need to go retro. Too bad OU isn’t in to the cocaine distribution any more. Right now it’s all about the Burlington Coat factory. Charles Thompson didn’t have the balls to rob one of those. Wasn’t Nebraska supposed to be like Michigan south? Relatively polite fans that (as of recent) just sit and watch as their once mighty team becomes a team that survives on name alone while they consistently go 9-3 without any hope of a BCS birth in sight.

I got a 51 and feel damn proud of that.

One question jumped out at me:

“#62. 2nd and goal @ B’s 1. Team A QB muffs the snap. Team B defensive end recovers and advances to A’s 4 where he is downed. Team A was in an illegal formation. The Team B nose guard commits a block in the back foul on A’s 2 during the Team B run. "

So you’re telling me a defensive end AND a nose guard ran the length of the football field without exploding in a gout of blood and roast beef sandwiches? I don’t think so…

That test is harder than the LSAT. It’s some MCAT-level shit.

Grammar police policing the grammar police: Shouldn’t it be “who’s” rather than “whose”?

1. That was a horrible thing to do to those two kids. I can’t imagine why a grown man would do this.

1. I scored a 49. I don’t know as much as I thought I did.

1. Are you the artist of the paintings on the web site (your link).

@13

It’s that wacky rule about possessive pronouns not taking the apostrophe because the contraction already has.

Here’s what our friends at Wazzou have to say about it:

 
WHO’S/WHOSE
 
This is one of those cases where it is important to remember that possessive pronouns never take apostrophes, even though possessive nouns do (see it’s/its). “Who’s” always and forever means only “who is,” as in “Who’s that guy with the droopy mustache?” or “who has,” as in “Who’s been eating my porridge?” “Whose” is the possessive form of “who” and is used as follows: “Whose dirty socks are these on the breakfast table?”

http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/who’s.html

Quis custodiet custodes? CW @ 13, that’s who.

@6

I just played your drinking game and blacked out in 5 minutes. This is better than meth!

I invited Pete Carroll to a party I’m having this weekend and he clicked “NOT ATTENDING”. WHO IS THIS LEADER OF MEN?

I know James Conradt, used to work with him. He was a pretty jokey guy. Used to have a blank TPS report from Initec on his office door, etc. I guarantee you this was simply a case of him not thinking of the consequences/not thinking of a good way to signal that his was a hoax. I will say I thought it was BS right away, but I saw it before all the big networks and shit ran with it, so it was pretty clear that it was bogus.

“I’ve got deep enough pockets to do it.”

If you have to TELL people you have deep pockets, you probably don’t.

I thought the puppy sign was funniest because of the grammar error, not in spite of it. Huh.

I scored a 54 and feel like I got a high B on a Finance exam

1. He was a pretty jokey guy?

These are 18 year old kids and to put something out there that is just blatantly not true is childish and irresponsible. I would be happy to send a contribution to Kevin Jones to help him with legal fees.

We find amusement in FC standings (probably more than we should), but this is an outright lie. There isn’t any excuse for that.

And this from a UT grad who does enjoy the mishaps of the OU program- when they are legitimate.

14- Absolutely it was. Fans like that are what generally ruins the run of the mill back and forth between rivals. Trust me, I’m in no way condoning that kind of crap. Now, the instance of Daren DeLone punching an OU RufNek? While I’m an OU diehard and an alumnus of the Graduate College…that was awesome.

15- Yup, I’m the artist. I’m currently working on stone/brick facade of Bergdorf Goodman’s. It’s a 5′×5′ and I’m just about as bored as I could possibly be with it. It’s like watching Ohio State-Michigan circa mid 70’s. Yeah, it was could be a great game and the outcome will be awesome for whoever wins…but getting there sucks ass. 3 yards and dust… EXCITEMENT TIMES TEN!

24

Never said it was okay. It was incredibly irresponsible and frankly not that amusing. Just saying I don’t think the guy had any ill intentions. He probably assumed most people would get that it was a hoax and didn’t think it would be a big deal. Obviously he was wrong. It doesn’t make him a bad person, just kind of dumb. Which is all I was trying to say.

I’m hoping the Tressel Book comes out in an audio book format so I can turn the volume down low while laying in bed drinking White Zin and pretending JT and I are having one sided pillow talk.

… did that sound gay?

48 on the test… not bad for this basketball ref…

I got a 60, but Charlie Weis gave me the answers ahead of time.

I got a 49. I was sober, but I tried not to think too much and just go with what looked best at first.

In my experience, most fans know the rules better when they’re drunk, and at least in Iowa, the farther away from the field you are, the better position you’re in to see what happened on the field.

So instead of having the refs study and run into position to see plays, what we should do is position frat boys at the top of the end zone bleachers. You could save a little bit of money by replacing referee salaries with cases of Bud Light.

vegas @ #27…not gay, just illustrating poor taste with the white zin…oh, I get it, you wouldn’t expect anything more from JT…well, now that I think about it, any pillowtalk with JT sounds a little gay. NTTIAWWT.

#30

You should run this idea by Mike Leach. The pirate king has issues with the referees in Texas. I bet he would go for it.

51. Stupid clock rules!

Okay, remember all of the comments about Waffle House a few weeks back? We have a winnah! Georgia. See below.

http://www.gwinnettdailypost.com/main.asp?SectionID=6&SubSectionID=84&ArticleID=16944

52. But my brain is now coming out of my ears. :(

34

Beautiful. Reminds me of an old joke my cosuin used to tell -

Q: What do you get when you take Atlanta out of Georgia?

A: Arkansas.

Haha. The EDSBS traffic has absolutely killed the Gwinnett Daily Post’s server!

And while I know it isn’t a function of EDSBS, I find it mildly amusing that Firefox considers the acronym to be a typo in the comment field.

Clearly we’ve failed in our attempts to get the thing in the vernacular. One supposes Fulmer Cup with have to suffice for now.

Just for the record, are you Baby Einstein’s going to start grammar checking LOLCats posters as well?

I should help pay that poor guy’s legal fees. I was trying like hell to find the time to do a fake story on Clemson using the Greenville Snooze as the backdrop, but haven’t had the time. Thanks for saving me from the financial ass plundering he’s about to receive.

50, only because the one thing I was consistant on was that a personal foul trumps everything.

1. - Gotta share that with my Bro-in-Law who hails from Colorado, but followed a job to Savannah. Too funny.

1. 27
   Brent… Brent Musburger, is that you?

Uh, but shouldn’t the NEWS REPORTERS who ran with a bogus story be fired?

What are these guys doing – surfing pr0n and message boards in their undies and then just reporting whatever?

Speaking of which, I made up a thing about Jeremy Elder and Jimmy Johns being arrested for felonies, but no one would believe that stuff.

Oh Jesus #24, get off your high horse. Was it dumb, yes, but really, what is the frickin harm? Everyone knows it is false. He is going to have to deal with the shame and embarrassment. Keep your moral compass to yourself.

Besides, anyone could tell the story was a fake for cocaine is far too cosmopolitan of a drug to be use by anyone in OK. Cheez or max strength cough syrup would be more appropriate.

51. And I have no idea why some were right and some were wrong. And yes, that was way harder than the LSAT.

Just as a warning, the test takes like an hour-twenty, during which I really should have been working on the brief due today. Oh well.

1. Keep your moral compass to yourself.

It is good to know Nebraska fans have high standards.

You probably wouldn’t be half as amused if someone made this “joke” about a talented Nebraska player.

I did about 30 questions, knew roughly 5 of the answers, then realized that it would probably be unwise to continue, considering I’m supposed to be studying for the bar exam.

Then I got back on here and posted this comment.

1. Our last talented players graduated in 2001.

Come on, dude fucked up. No one got hurt, though some reporters’ heads should probably role for running with a story without getting some kind of independent verification.

Is it the deception that has people so upset or the invocation of cocaine? Would it have been more obviously humorous if he had inserted Bradford into this story about Oklahoman dog-fuckers? I submit it would have been a better choice. Especially since we know Oklahomans fuck dogs.

lol some dude in the comments section yesterday guessed right that pete carroll’s story of max facebook members would be on the curious index.

i got thru half that test and realized its a lot easier to bitch out the tv whenever the refs fuck up.

also those questions were hard as balls, one in a billion chance it would happen type of calls.

1. - But only those with deep pockets.

And for the record, I think the only person that we can be sure doesn’t snort is Pato Banton.

46-
Since those of us who happen to be “f*cking hillbillies” have beaten your ass (or, I suppose, your team’s ass. You don’t really seem to be college educated, so I can’t say your school’s), do you harbor some sort of grudge? I do think it’s comical that a Nebraska guy is trashing Oklahoma for its lack of culture and/or ethics. Hope you do well with our old assistant coach. Seemed to work out for Kansas, TTech and SDSU. Not so much for Arizona. Maybe you all will be able to pull it off. Though, with all that animosity built up in Lincoln, maybe it’ll be like the mid 90’s for you all…just without the wins. Seriously guy, cool down. You’re not even our top rival and your freaking out over something that nobody agrees with you on.

1. Our last talented players graduated in 2001.

That was an entertaining comment. :-) Pelini will probably bring your program back, it is just a matter of time. He was a very good assistant coach and will, most likely, be an outstanding head coach. The rest of the Big 12 expects that will happen in the near future.

Is it the deception that has people so upset or the invocation of cocaine?

Neither. I just think it is unfair to make up a story about any kid that insinuates that they broke the law, even in jest. If you want to criticize their play on the field, fine. These kids know that they are under the microscope and their skill and/or ability is always being evaluated by the general public, that is expected when you play D1 ball. Personal attacks against 18-21 year olds are pointless and cruel. Any CFB player, whatever school they attend.

None of this would be a big deal if some newspapers/radio shows hadn’t decided to run an obviously fake report. Then they had to express outrage, making this out to be some meticulous, devious plot to defame Bradford when it was there own dumb asses that caused the thing to go past message board prank (all it was intended to be). And then all of you Oklahoma fans bought into it, then felt stupid for believing it, and now are pissed at feeling stupid. It’s the same phenomena you saw in Boston after the Aqua Teen “Bomb” scare; a non-story gets overblown by media who in turn try and make it out to be a devious plot so they can cover their own asses. People who were ignorant of the stories origins feel stupid because they bought into the sensationalism, and instead of saying to themselves “maybe I shouldn’t take everything I hear as the god’s honest truth in the future,” they decide that the people who played this “hoax” in the first place were calculative, malicious deviants out to cause mass hysteria who certainly deserve whatever harsh, legal punishment is coming their way. Wow. People never cease to amaze me.

And to anyone who thinks this was a meticulous, time-consuming process, well, you see, we have these things called computers now, and with them you can do stuff like this pretty easy.

James is an IT guy by trade. This probably took all of ten minutes out of his day.

I intentionally guess at all of them (partially as an experiment, and partially due to time). I got 49 right. I’m pretty sure that’s how SEC refs roll week in and week out.

As for the fake news story guy, that’s how Fox News gets all of its (noticed I used the correct possessive pronoun) news. Seriously, someone makes up a story about someone Fox and its backers don’t like, “prints” it in the Backwater Arkansas Gazette, and then Fox quotes “sources” as saying whatever the article said. There are literally dozens of examples. If I weren’t so lazy I’d find the link to the website where they guy documented it.

There is blame to go around, especially by the so-called media that actually reported this on air without checking the facts. And I am sure that James meant no harm towards the two players, but it was an irresponsible thing to do.

I’m also sure that the two families who have talented sons playing for OU, who do not use and/or distribute cocaine, are justified in their anger. James should have thought about what it would feel like if his own child was accused of something unlawful on a message board, even in jest, before he posted the prank.

Being an IT guy isn’t a legal defense for thoughtless stupidity. At least, not yet. Unless some lawyer on this blog decides to take up the cause…

It probably was Fox News. We should look that up.

54

I never said it was a defense, I’ve just read a lot of posts that seem to insinuate that this was clearly a nefarious plot that took hours, when in fact it was a pretty simple prank.

The families have a right to be pissed, but come on. You’re division one athletes. This guy posted this on a message board. It was intended as a joke in a flame fest on a message board. If I was pissed at anyone, it’d be the people who made it into national news because they can’t figure out that this…

69.49.239.85/newsok/sports/soo…0NewsOK.com.htm

…is probably not a legit url.

As for James thinking about how it would feel for the kids, well, again, he never intended this to be national news. And I’m sure it’s no worse on the kids psyche than the things defensive players say to them after they sack them. I mean, really, these are fucking football players. Suck it the hell up.

#54

This is the last post I’ll make in defense of my comments, but I do have a younger relative playing D1 ball, and yes, he expects that he will will get all kinds of crap from other fans and players about the game and plays he made/ did not make specifically. And the family knows that will happen. He didn’t make a big play (nationally televised game) and we were all sick for him, but knew that he could handle it. There a lot of nasty comments on message boards about him and we just had to step back, take a deep breathe and let it go. If someone had accused him of cocaine use/distribution, that would have been different story.

Comments, even in jest, about these kids on personal matters, especially one where they are accused of unlawful behavior, is just irresponsible. Everything you write on boards, etc. now can and probably will be disseminated. My comments thread on this topic will probably be around long after I am gone. A smart IT guy should know that.

Well. I feel much better about my 58 now.

@46

Google on “Gary Gibbs” and “Schnellenberger” and let me know how that worked out for you. Maybe you have a short memory but your guys were there not that long ago.

Crimson Daddy, if you got a 58, you should get to lead a new national organization of college refs and take the whole thing over from the conferences.

@50 – I never said you guys were hillbillies; Bill Callahan said that. Nor did I impugn the culture or ethics of the state (both of which compare favorably to those of the Cornhusker state); The Oklahoman says dog-fuckers live in your state. To your credit, they’ve been arrested. I’m not going to address the ad hominem.

@51 – I guess I disagree. I think it’s the invocation of cocaine that’s problematic, not making up stories. Orson writes about Dennis Erickson driving a golf cart into a volcano, Chase Daniel moonlighting as a pizza delivery boy (an NCAA violation), and how SEC players are faster because they bone fat chicks. We all know he’s kidding. If he’d write about, say, Todd Reesing leading a human trafficking ring, it’ wouldn’t be funny (actually, it probably would be because Orson wrote it, but you get the point). My point is the prank itself was poorly executed and contained a poor choice of humorous accusation, but humorous accusations themselves can be funny. One need look no further than EDSBS to see this is so.

Just in case ya missed it , dogs cant read ,thus the bad grammar…….especially beagles……

That test was a bear. But I’ll take my 55 with pride since it puts me in company with SMQ

I took the exam before I realized Dick Honig and Bill LeMonnier wrote the damned thing. The key to a high score is to just substitute “Michigan Wolverines” for “Team B” in every question and select the answer the is most beneficial to Team B. I scored a not too shabby 52 without the UM curve in place.