CURIOUS INDEX, 7/9/08
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Perhaps we should scale back our plans for a fifth home with custom space elevator. Rich Rodriguez–or someone on his behalf–will pay West Virginia University the entire sum of $4 million dollars in damages related to his departure for Michigan this past January. The deal allegedly specifies how much Rodriguez will pay, and how much “someone else” will pay–presumably a man or woman named “Michigan Someone.”
Rodriguez, aside from now helming the Tiffany Program of college football, has to think of this as a loss, but perhaps should have seen this coming when one element of his legal defense was “I was, as a grown-up, enlawyered man, tricked into signing a large contract.” Some degree of pardon should be reserved for Rodriguez, though: the minute anyone gets involved in a legal tussle over lots of money, everyone in the room stands on their hands, puts glasses on their taints, and begins speaking directly through their assholes for the duration of the discussion. It’s called a legal shitfight for a reason. The U will have their U. An agreement has been reached between Dolphin Stadium officials and the University of Miami to put the logo “U” on the field for ‘Canes games in their new home in Miami. No word whether stadium officials will back up toilets and have sketchy locals outside parking cars on top of each other in forty square foot lots to make ‘Canes fans feel comfortable during games. Clemson and Alabama’s tattoo wars set up for an epic battle in Atlanta. Hopefully we can get photos, but we know some LSU fan will top both by having a full bodysuit of purple and yellow stripes done to top the competition. Tip: save money on the yellow ink by developing a nice case of jaundice. Given the way we’ve seen LSU fans guzzle booze at games, this shouldn’t be too difficult. Hey, look! An inspirational story defying stereotypes! deflated. Who likes that? Journalistic fail: you’re supposed to confirm what everyone thinks about the world, regardless of the evidence! Run along and do that, young typesmith! If you didn’t listen last night, stop by iTunes and search podcasts for “EDSBS Live” to listen to Phil Steele download one micron of his brain capacity on us last night. More than ever, we’re convinced he just sees green showers of ones and zeros when he watches football. |
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1
SL22 says:
Their new home is nowhere near Miami. Dolphin’s Stadium sucks balls.
July 9th, 2008 at 8:27 am
2
SL22 says:
Did I say Dolphin’s Stadium? Like, one dolphin owns it? Jeez. DOLPHINS Stadium.
July 9th, 2008 at 8:27 am
3
CincySooner says:
Until the Clemson guy gets “Howard’s” and “Lock” tattooed on the undersides of his arms, the bama super fan will win this battle of poor judgement.
July 9th, 2008 at 8:28 am
4
TAFKastOSUB says:
Go ahead and pre-order your copy now…come on…you know you want to…
http://www.thewinnersmanual.com/
July 9th, 2008 at 8:36 am
5
okiedomer says:
I hope you all appreciate how difficult it is to read and post here while standing on my head with a glass balanced on my taint.
Oddly enough, the class on this in law school was taught by a student assistant…some guy named Brady Quinn or something like that.
July 9th, 2008 at 8:46 am
6
gerry dorsey says:
don’t miss the sequel to “the winners manual,” …“except when it matters most” including forwards by les miles and urban meyer.
July 9th, 2008 at 8:48 am
7
ThreenOut says:
I don’t know how RichRod thought for one second he could win that one. He was done in 15 minutes into the first day.
July 9th, 2008 at 8:50 am
8
Pirate Petey says:
aaayyyyyyy…. me and the U of Miami are in negotiations… they want me ta fire me cannons from the shore over the top of the stadium… something about the crowds feeling at home with gunfire
but I swore away from providing field security… me swabbies ain’t touched in the head enough to get in the middle of a brawl in those crowds
July 9th, 2008 at 8:53 am
9
Allahver Fist says:
I guess that 2+ year window to finish the last chapter of The Winners Manual has passed. Time’s up! Put down your pencil.
July 9th, 2008 at 8:53 am
10
Crabapple Buck says:
Funny how RR ’settled’ for what appears to be terms. Yay contract law! That was some negotiatin’ going on by his lawya(s).
Gerry, your memory is short if you forget 2002. I know Larry Coker hasn’t. Neither has your brother Ken.
I will reserve comment on the tattoos for fear that some idiot will have one of the Horseshoe and Woody show up on the interwebs and ebays. This does prove that Hepatitis C is not in these two parlors…yet.
July 9th, 2008 at 8:59 am
11
Der Schatten says:
#4 BWhahahaaaaaaahhaaaaahahaaaaaa
July 9th, 2008 at 9:01 am
12
TAFKastOSUB says:
#6
Ohio State: 4
LSU & UF: 44
All-Time Fulmer Cup Points.
I ask you, when does it matter most?
July 9th, 2008 at 9:02 am
13
Homeless Clemson Guy says:
Holy Home Alone 2! That Clemson tattoo reminds me of Fruit Stripe gum! God, I loved that stuff back when I could afford it. Do they still make it? Can somebody send me some? That, or a $2 bill – nobody here has ever seen one of those.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:03 am
14
ATL Blue says:
sorry Roger, you tiger now.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:03 am
15
maskedavenger says:
RR was in quite a legal pickle the moment this case was returned to WV state court, although WV federal court wouldn’t have been too much better due to the jury pool. Leaving the difficulty of proving this in a court of law aside, I do think that WVU has suffered or will suffer $4,000,000 in damages due to RR leaving. Perhaps WVU won’t miss a beat and Bill Stewart will turn out to be an excellent coach, but I do think it will be a while before the likes of Alabama and Michigan come clamoring for him in back-to-back years.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:09 am
16
Crabapple Buck says:
Great show last night Orson. Phil is the real deal, so different from the talking heads at the mouse. He actually knows what he is talking about! Best format for him, let him start and the knowledge flows.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:09 am
17
Out of Conference says:
#12 TAFKasTOSU – I think you accidentally clicked “Submit coment” before you you typed, “Fuck Saban and the entire State of Alabama and all of you SEC losers.”
July 9th, 2008 at 9:11 am
18
hunglikehussain says:
Clemson Tim needs a tattoo of Danny Ford holding a checkbook.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:11 am
19
Out of Conference says:
coment = comment
SEC skillz, lawya!
July 9th, 2008 at 9:12 am
20
TAFKastOSUB says:
“Fuck Saban and the entire State of Alabama and all of you SEC losers.”
July 9th, 2008 at 9:12 am
21
Out of Conference says:
#18 and Perry Tuttle accepting said check-
I can;t believe my folks even had a party that night for the Orange Bowl. HA – they still paid for my way to USC! Suckers!
July 9th, 2008 at 9:14 am
22
White Speed Recieiver says:
Will “The Winner’s Manual” include quotes from Maurice Clarett, Ira Guilford, and Louis Irizarry?
July 9th, 2008 at 9:15 am
23
NewAZTiger says:
Nate “Rammer Lammer” Loses because he has a typo on his tats.
Rammer Lammer Unmodified
Rammer Jammer if typeset properly.
Of course, Nate has a better pregame ritual.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:17 am
24
TAFKastOSUB says:
You’ll have to read it to find out.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:18 am
25
NewAZTiger says:
#12 – are you sure that’s not a cumulative score in BCS games vs the SEC? Oh, that’s right, UF and LSU got more points than 44.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:19 am
26
Bagger Douche says:
At least teams traveling to play da U won’t have to get tetanus shots anymore.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:21 am
27
TAFKastOSUB says:
79-38 combined score
July 9th, 2008 at 9:22 am
28
UgasTexan says:
Too bad fans can’t score Fulmer Cup points.
Maybe Ohio State could then close the gap on LSU?
Excuse me while I go throw some Gamecock’s grandmas and children off the top of Sanford Stadium’s Tech Deck then douse a couple of Aubie’s cars – err, trucks – with gas and set them aflame.
Let me eat your baby!
July 9th, 2008 at 9:28 am
29
Coop says:
@ 15
Where, exactly, did RR’s genius lawyers think the case would be heard?
Civil Procedure lecture aside, it was going to be heard in WVa, and RR’s lawyers knew that.
The better question is, how could nobody see this coming?
You question an intentionally vague checklist, where sticking a new computer in an office probably constituted, “facility upgrades,” and you expect WVa to crumble and settle over something along those lines?
I just don’t understand how RR’s handlers thought this was going to turn out well, even if they did have a valid argument, which they didn’t.
Will it cost WVa more than $4MM, in reality? Probably. But somebody is writing a fat check on RR’s behalf to Morgantown, and rightfully so.
The sad thing about all this is that WVa received a nice supplement to have offered a legitimate candidate for the job, which was the reason for the buyout clause in the first place, assuming RR was dead set on leaving.
Bill Stewart = windfall winner in all this
July 9th, 2008 at 9:29 am
30
meatybob says:
to all who don’t think that tOSU sucks.
Yeah, hate to say this, but because of Clarett, tOSU is in the same camp as miami and neb and a host of other schools as to be forever labeled as a “win at all costs” program. The number of books Dr. Sweatervest writes will not change that fact. You recruit that type of player, you die by that type of player.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:32 am
31
Clem says:
“I just don’t understand how RR’s handlers thought this was going to turn out well, even if they did have a valid argument, which they didn’t.”
Well, it worked with Beilein just the year before. And really, considering the ongoing Garrison debacle, if this wasn’t going to all come down in November (a busy month for RichRod), I think it would have been interesting to see play out in court. Mud would be slung, and I think the more serious of it would have stuck to WVU than Coach Rich Rodriguez. But with Wets Fucking Virginia being the apocalyptic den of insanity that it is, no telling what a jury would choose to do.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:35 am
32
White Speed Recieiver says:
#15,
I assume what the lawyers were thinking was “MONEY!!! WOOHOO!!! THIS HICK THINKS HE HAS A CHANCE??? BILLABLE HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!”
I’m sure there was ominous lightning in the background during the laughter at the end.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:36 am
33
gerry dorsey says:
TAFKastOSUB,
give me the national title AND the fulmer cup points every single time. thank you for asking.
and crabapple buck,
well then i guess he should have come out with this book in 2003 then huh??
July 9th, 2008 at 9:37 am
34
paco says:
“One key that triggered a settlement appeared to be the pressure brought by WVU to depose Michigan President Sue Coleman and Athletic Director Bill Martin. There was a hearing scheduled in Michigan this afternoon on WVU’s attempts to force the two to testify under oath what they knew about the hiring of Rodriguez and the buyout clause in the contract with WVU.”
http://www.wvmetronews.com/index.cfm?func=displayfullstory&storyid=25358
July 9th, 2008 at 9:42 am
35
maskedavenger says:
Coop -
I would have to imagine that RR’s people wanted him to establish residency in Michigan to have the suit brought here. If you care to refute that by citing appropriate passages in Wright & Miller be my guest. It’s been a long time since I looked at residency, domicile, etc., and my only “research” into the venue was implications from reading RR’s deposition wherein one of the six attorneys WVU brought to the deposition was questioning why RR got a Michigan driver’s license so quickly.
As to the “legal strategy,” during negotiations, I presume that RR’s team thought that there would be a split-the-difference settlement like there usually is when a coach leaves.
In a less hostile venue, I think WVU might have had some difficulty proving their damages case, but again, in my gut, I think they were damaged that much. WVU may continue its run, and Stewart may still prove me wrong. We’ll see.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:43 am
36
kleph says:
relistening to steele this morning i sometimes get the creepy feeling that if he had suddenly told us all to go kill a pig and bathe in its blood – we would do it.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:45 am
37
Crabapple Buck says:
I find it amusing that so many disrespect tOSU. There are two schools that have the right to give us grief over the last two BCS NC games. If you are just a fan of a team in the conference, you have zero credibility until your team takes its place in line.
Florida and LSU fans would like to have a valid championship. But if tOSU isn’t worthy, then I guess that means that their championships are tainted. If that is the case, we should just crown SC as they would have beaten both teams according to the fucktards that post the bullshit drivel even they must have a hard time believing.
Just a quick fact, each of the last 3 National Champions have beaten tOSU, Texas in the regular season and UF & LSU. The Buckeyes have shown to be consistent since Jim Tressel took over in 2001. The only coach with a better record in that time is comPete Carroll. All of the miscreants mentioned above were dismissed. Eugene Clifford will be gone soon also. I’m glad he is our coach. Let the flaming begin.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:48 am
38
dudis41 says:
Clifford will be in Clifton by late August…
July 9th, 2008 at 9:56 am
39
TAFKastOSUB says:
32
At least we’re clear on the issue – thank you for confirming what I already knew to be true.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:58 am
40
NewAZTiger says:
#37 – Actually, pretty much every team in the SEC can laugh at you until you stop being 0-fer-SEC in bowls. In fact, you’ve never beaten an SEC team outside of Columbus. So, as long as no Vandy or Kentucky kids are talking smack, the rest of the SEC is fair game.
Your closest loss to an SEC team in the last 2 decades was 3 points to Lou Holthzzzzzzzzz’s Gamecocks.
July 9th, 2008 at 10:01 am
41
Bagger Douche says:
Lawyas, think tOSU could get out of its next BCS Title Game contract by Duke’s precedence?
July 9th, 2008 at 10:01 am
42
PW says:
wait, we’re talking about eyeglasses balanced on the taint…right?
July 9th, 2008 at 10:04 am
43
Erik says:
Crabapple Buck, correct me if I’m wrong, but I could have sworn I heard somewhere that the SEC as a whole has absolutely owned Ohio State in Bowl games.
I could be mistaken though. Lets say hypothetically, I’m right, then it’s not hard to comprehend why other SEC teams would feel justified talking the proverbial OSU shit. (or “taking” an OSU shit…whatever the case may be)
July 9th, 2008 at 10:06 am
44
TAFKastOSUB says:
And for the record…nearly all of Clarett’s problems (legal that is) occurred once he left campus. Based on the current point system, had the FC been around back in 2003, MoC would have netted The Ohio State University with no more than 2 points, if that.
Now compare that with a 28 point season that includes a double armed robbery and cocaine sales, both on campus.
It’s not even close.
July 9th, 2008 at 10:08 am
45
TAFKastOSUB says:
#40
If the only measuring stick used is bowl games, then it is a flawed system.
Take Penn State for example. They were a perennial powerhouse and national contender prior to joining the Big 10. In fact, I remember them beating Georgia for the NC.
What have they done since joining the Big Ten? They have lost 9 in a row against Michigan and they are 4-9 against Ohio State; 89-64 since joining the conference.
My point…BOWL GAMES ARE DIFFERENT THAN REGULAR SEAON CONFERENCE PLAY…especially the BCS bowl games….ever wonder why the underdog has won nearly all of the BCS NCG and why Vegas and the entire sports media world can never get it right.
and if your entire argument is based on bowl games then it is flawed…severely
July 9th, 2008 at 10:22 am
46
TAFKastOSUB says:
Otherwise explain to me how Michigan beat Florida this year after being crushed by Ohio State and held to 3 points…or for that matter…explain any of the bizarre wins or losses we have seen in the bowl season.
July 9th, 2008 at 10:25 am
47
Allahver Fist says:
TAFKastOSUB, chill out, man. There are some good things coming out of Columbus.
July 9th, 2008 at 10:26 am
48
Crabapple Buck says:
Since tOSU was allowed to play elsewhere than the Rose Bowl, they have lost 9 times to an SEC team.
1978 Sugar to Alabama
1989 H of F to Auburn
1992 Citrus to Georgia
1994 Citrus to Alabama
1995 Citrus to Tennessee
2000 Outback to S. Carolina
2001 Outback to S. Carolina
2007 BCSNCG to Florida
2008 BCSNCG to LSU
That covers only half the conference. I look forward to the 10th meeting, as the optimist in me says the law of averages is on our side. Michigan used to talk smack when they had their run too. Now, not so much. Crow while you can, you know your time is coming.
July 9th, 2008 at 10:34 am
49
PW says:
46
I can’t explain it to you, so I’ll let Phil Steele try. He mentioned Michigan’s injury woes as a reason for last year’s underachievement. While Henne and Hart did play against tOSU last year, both were banged up and played subpar because of it. They had a month and a half to heal up for the Florida game and they smoked us.
July 9th, 2008 at 10:45 am
50
Der Schatten says:
@48. Sure it covers 7 of the 12, but really, look at the remainders:
The Miss. schools, Arkie, Vandie and Kentucky. Not exactly paragons par excellence. That’s like saying because Northwestern has never beaten Florida, that the rest of the big televen couldn’t derive glee from UM’s inspired play this year against the Gators.
July 9th, 2008 at 10:47 am