BLOGTOBERFEST: COACHES' THREAT LEVEL

by Orson on Jul 9, 2008 2:04 PM EDT

Blogtoberfest! Because there's more to life than EDSBS, but don't tell us that.

You may thank Oops Pow for finding this violent and violently great video of people inflicting harm on each other for your scholastic athletic amusement.

Now go punch yourself in the mirror because it's gameday, son or daughter! Everyone else just doesn't know it, so they may file assault charges when you gack them in the parking lot on a "post pattern." Or at least it looked like a post pattern to you, right?

Duke's football team takes out the trash by cleaning up the campus. Because Duke football sucking is a legal fact and thus established as known to all, there's really no point in making a joke here unless you're the asshole who likes kicking kittens around.

The latest SN column puts coaches on a DHS-style watch list. Mike Stoops: CORE BREACH IMMINENT.

Everything at this website is brilliant and you should read it all. No one is as cool as KING COBRA!

Another journalist attempts to train like a pro and ends up depositing his breakfast into the bushes, and not in that festive manner, either.

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I could hear the lamentations of the women in that clip. This is what is good in life.

by sonofsamford on Jul 9, 2008 2:19 PM EDT reply actions

The fact that there are no Patrick Willis tackles on that Youtubes is a fucking travesty. Seeing that he has the (somewhat arguably) 2 greatest tackles ever made in SEC history.

by Erik on Jul 9, 2008 2:23 PM EDT reply actions

Jim Grobe is not as calm a person as you think. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

You would think that the equivalent of a lifetime contract would pacify most, but Grobe can be scary.

And, don’t have any “boo boos” as he puts it, like sprained ankles or dislocated shoulders, and expect any special, and by special I mean typical medical, treatment.

by Coop on Jul 9, 2008 2:33 PM EDT reply actions

Other than the fact that Brent Musberger is calling the game, this is my favorite. Monty Grow turned the game around.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prbk6t74rSo

by hobeg8r on Jul 9, 2008 2:52 PM EDT reply actions

No GIGGETY meltdown?

For shame.

by yoyofutbawl on Jul 9, 2008 3:02 PM EDT reply actions

Why am I an asshole for liking to kick kittens around, but Lloyd Carr got a pass for ripping a bucket of kittens’ heads off?

by Out of Conference on Jul 9, 2008 3:14 PM EDT reply actions

I only remember this because I watched it forty godzillion times, but SMQ unearthed that a year ago.

by Holly on Jul 9, 2008 3:23 PM EDT reply actions

Who’s the deluded scUM fan who put that clip together? Good Lord, that nauseating display included all six tackles the Wolverqueen D made all of last year, over and over again, in slow motion. I would suspect it was a Dick Rod joint, but the poor hill jack is busy blowing blue boosters for buyout booty.

by Sherlock Hemlock on Jul 9, 2008 3:24 PM EDT reply actions

Nice alliteration, Sherlock. Well done.

by Out of Conference on Jul 9, 2008 3:30 PM EDT reply actions

no Boom Motherfucker???

by ATL AU Tiger on Jul 9, 2008 3:43 PM EDT reply actions

@8 “Wolverqueen!” Whoa ho ho, step aside, Jerry Seinfeld, Hemlock’s slayin’ ‘em now! Hey, do the riff where you call them “Meatchicken,” that’s a crowd-pleaser.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Jul 9, 2008 4:13 PM EDT reply actions