THINGS WE NEED: OUR OWN BULL GRILL
Normally when we see the image of an animal advertising for a place serving cooked pieces of that animal, a bit of cognitive dissonance kicks in and spoils the whole show for us. A pig advertising for a barbecue place is the worst, since the pig usually looks so happy to be the asshole porcine Quisling selling out his brethren for better slop.
For some reason, this Texas tailgating necessity escapes that quease, probably becase a.) it rocks balls, and b.) the cow looks appropriately confused, as in “What’s that smell? OH GOD IS THAT—NOOOOOO!!!!!”
When our alien carnivore overlords make these in human shapes, have the courage to laugh before you’re thrown on the grill, earthling.
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1
Sherlock Hemlock says:
That’s actually the bull-shaped grill that Daedalus made for Pasiphae. Inside, Mack Brown is naked and “presenting,” ready to service the next Permian stud running back.
July 8th, 2008 at 9:38 am
2
GamecockTony says:
I used to be in the restaurant equipment business and dealt with all the local BBQ joints. The logos never ceased to amuse.
My personal favorite was one with male and female pig dressed and dancing like a 1950’s sock-hop.
July 8th, 2008 at 9:40 am
3
allaha says:
Speaking of earthlings on the grill, a San Francisco gym advertised on billboards: “When the aliens come, they will eat the fat ones first.” It was a clever and funny ad — except from the perspective of fat people. The gym, faced with the threat of a lawsuit for intentional infliction of emotional distress, was forced to drop the campaign.
When the alien carnivore overlords come, don’t say you weren’t warned corpulent, litigious gits of S.F.
July 8th, 2008 at 9:41 am
4
DevilGrad says:
Orson appears to be channelling my long-standing bewilderment over the logo for Red, Hot, & Blue.
Oh, and for those of you from the eastern edge of the barbecue belt:
http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/grilling-gear/every-pigs-worst-nightmare-a-barbecue-shaped-like-a-pig-261720.php
July 8th, 2008 at 9:46 am
5
blon57 says:
I can’t imagine and UT tailgater with any self-respect owning that…thing.
July 8th, 2008 at 9:51 am
6
blon57 says:
Excuse me, not and but any UT tailgater…
July 8th, 2008 at 9:52 am
7
Out of Conference says:
“when we see the image of an animal advertising for a place serving cooked pieces of that animal, a bit of cognitive dissonance kicks in and spoils the whole show for us”
Me thinks your pussy ass should have majored in engineering and recognized the practicality of meat.
July 8th, 2008 at 9:58 am
8
Allahver Fist says:
I luuuv smiling pig barbecue. They could call it Charlotte’s Webber and I’d want one. My boss actually collects shirts from barbecue joints that specifically have pigs on them.
July 8th, 2008 at 10:04 am
9
Out of Conference says:
Allahver Fist – Henry’s Smokehouse here in Greenville used to have a t-shirt that had a pig with a bib on that said, “Get some on you at Henry’s!”
I’ll see if they sell them the next time I’m in there and it’s yours.
July 8th, 2008 at 10:15 am
10
the croominator says:
Why settle for just a pig…when you can have a genetic hybrid monstrosity!
http://www.bottomfeedersbbq.com/
But it’s wearing sunglasses, so the coolness mutes the “IT’S ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!” vibe.
July 8th, 2008 at 10:20 am
11
Allahver Fist says:
Henry’s Smokehouse loves America.
July 8th, 2008 at 10:23 am
12
Bottagetta says:
And the winner is…hold it…hold it… NOW.
http://www.countrysbbq.com/giftshop/product_info.php?cPath=3&products_id=13
July 8th, 2008 at 10:30 am
13
CarnivoreAlienOverlords says:
We are working on the human barbeque grill as you read this… and it is modeled after this juicy tidbit
http://www.funnyhub.com/pictures/pages/big-man-little-scooter.html
July 8th, 2008 at 10:47 am
14
yoyofutbawl says:
Allahaver-
I always enjoy riding through Eastern NC to laugh at smilin pigs on the “Nahunta Pork Center” and other biilboards.
Made me think of the old Twilight Zone episode “To Serve Mankind”. I don’t think the prople on that space ship were too cheerful like dat peeg.
July 8th, 2008 at 10:53 am
15
Allahver Fist says:
#9, OOC
Hold up on that one for now. My company’s latest and greatest invasive HR policies have Tebow’d my will to work here. Hopefully, I’ll be somewhere else in the next six months. Maybe I’ll open up some The Pig Fist BBQ stands ’round here.
July 8th, 2008 at 11:00 am
16
kleph says:
dude, that thing is going to look fucking AWESOME next to the oversized tractor tire in your back yard.
July 8th, 2008 at 11:04 am
17
GamecockTony says:
I mean, I’ve played my share of weird sex games with the ladies but this pig has me beat:
http://www.btsmokehouse.com/Home.html
July 8th, 2008 at 11:14 am
18
Bagger Douche says:
Somehow I think Swindle’s grill brush is caked with tofu.
July 8th, 2008 at 11:19 am
19
Allahver Fist says:
I would follow this man into battle.
Nahunta Pork Center: “We Offer The Country’s Largest Pork Retail Display”. That’s now on the To Do list the next time I’m near Raleigh.
July 8th, 2008 at 11:25 am
20
RaginCajunRebel says:
I own a Traeger. It’s not the Bull one, but it’s probably the greatest grill I’ve ever used or seen. It’s bad ass.
I was going to get it modified to look like the Orgeron, but since he was canned I backed off. And a Houston Nutt grill would just scare the hell outta me.
July 8th, 2008 at 11:28 am
21
jakldawg says:
Sure, a smiling pig is mildly disconcerting, but dancing pigs, that’s just creepy.
http://www.dancingpigs.com/tshirts.asp
and delicious.
July 8th, 2008 at 11:56 am
22
DC Trojan says:
Allahver Fist @ 19 – I have never seen anything quite like the Nahunta Pork Center. Never. I was so impressed I even bought one of their hats. All we bought – lacking ambition – was loin, and it was phenomenal off the grill.
July 8th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
23
yoyofutbawl says:
Allhaver/DC-
I have seen the Nahunta signs along US 64, 264 & 70 since the late 80s. I didn’t go with my crew to Kinston today (4 hr drive) & missed my chance, always wanted to go there.
Nahunta Pork Center – undoubtedly “The Ted Peters of Eastern NC”
July 8th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
24
Mark D says:
Nice obscure reference to a WWII Norewegian Nazi collaberationist. I feel like I do when I hear Dennis Miller rant and actually know what he’s alluding to.
July 8th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
25
I R A Darth Aggie says:
Now to saw Varsity’s horns off…
July 8th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
26
oc phil says:
Carnivore @ 13: I didn’t even know Charlie Weis rode a scooter.
July 8th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
27
swampchomp says:
Quisling, damn good reference orson. nazi sellout FTL
July 8th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
28
hunglikehussain says:
Couldn’t find Frosty Morn, but this is almost as good.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rehlpyIGAbU&feature=related
July 8th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
29
meatybob says:
“I can’t imagine and UT tailgater with any self-respect owning that…thing.”
Do Texas fans actually care enough to tailgate? Self-respecting or not? Or does UT football just entertain its fanbase during the commercials of Jon & Kate Plus 8?
July 8th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
30
blon57 says:
#25- “saw varsity’s horns off”…
That will not happen again this year.
July 8th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
31
blon57 says:
#29 Do Texas fans actually care enough to tailgate?
Are you serious?
July 8th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
32
UgasTexan says:
http://www.noisebot.com/please_dont_eat_me_i_love_you_t-shirt.htm
Maybe what pigs are really thinking?
July 9th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
33
Henry's Smokehouse says:
Allahver Fist,
I greatly appreciate helping to spread the word about us. I was reviewing our website statistics and it lead me to this site. Shoot me an email at Gourmet_hog@hotmail.com so I can buy you lunch as a thank you.
Tiger O’Rourke
General Manager
Henry’s Smokehouse
July 28th, 2008 at 7:01 pm