THINGS WE NEED: OUR OWN BULL GRILL
by Orson on Jul 8, 2008 10:33 AM EDT
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PrintNormally when we see the image of an animal advertising for a place serving cooked pieces of that animal, a bit of cognitive dissonance kicks in and spoils the whole show for us. A pig advertising for a barbecue place is the worst, since the pig usually looks so happy to be the asshole porcine Quisling selling out his brethren for better slop.
For some reason, this Texas tailgating necessity escapes that quease, probably becase a.) it rocks balls, and b.) the cow looks appropriately confused, as in "What's that smell? OH GOD IS THAT---NOOOOOO!!!!!"
When our alien carnivore overlords make these in human shapes, have the courage to laugh before you're thrown on the grill, earthling.
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That’s actually the bull-shaped grill that Daedalus made for Pasiphae. Inside, Mack Brown is naked and “presenting,” ready to service the next Permian stud running back.
by Sherlock Hemlock on Jul 8, 2008 10:38 AM EDT reply actions
I used to be in the restaurant equipment business and dealt with all the local BBQ joints. The logos never ceased to amuse.
My personal favorite was one with male and female pig dressed and dancing like a 1950’s sock-hop.
by GamecockTony on Jul 8, 2008 10:40 AM EDT reply actions
Speaking of earthlings on the grill, a San Francisco gym advertised on billboards: “When the aliens come, they will eat the fat ones first.” It was a clever and funny ad — except from the perspective of fat people. The gym, faced with the threat of a lawsuit for intentional infliction of emotional distress, was forced to drop the campaign.
When the alien carnivore overlords come, don’t say you weren’t warned corpulent, litigious gits of S.F.
by allaha on Jul 8, 2008 10:41 AM EDT reply actions
Orson appears to be channelling my long-standing bewilderment over the logo for Red, Hot, & Blue.
Oh, and for those of you from the eastern edge of the barbecue belt:
by DevilGrad on Jul 8, 2008 10:46 AM EDT reply actions
I can’t imagine and UT tailgater with any self-respect owning that…thing.
by blon57 on Jul 8, 2008 10:51 AM EDT reply actions
“when we see the image of an animal advertising for a place serving cooked pieces of that animal, a bit of cognitive dissonance kicks in and spoils the whole show for us”
Me thinks your pussy ass should have majored in engineering and recognized the practicality of meat.
by Out of Conference on Jul 8, 2008 10:58 AM EDT reply actions
I luuuv smiling pig barbecue. They could call it Charlotte’s Webber and I’d want one. My boss actually collects shirts from barbecue joints that specifically have pigs on them.
by Allahver Fist on Jul 8, 2008 11:04 AM EDT reply actions
Allahver Fist – Henry’s Smokehouse here in Greenville used to have a t-shirt that had a pig with a bib on that said, “Get some on you at Henry’s!”
I’ll see if they sell them the next time I’m in there and it’s yours.
by Out of Conference on Jul 8, 2008 11:15 AM EDT reply actions
Why settle for just a pig…when you can have a genetic hybrid monstrosity!
http://www.bottomfeedersbbq.com/
But it’s wearing sunglasses, so the coolness mutes the “IT’S ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!” vibe.
by the croominator on Jul 8, 2008 11:20 AM EDT reply actions
And the winner is…hold it…hold it… NOW.
http://www.countrysbbq.com/giftshop/product_info.php?cPath=3&products_id=13
by Bottagetta on Jul 8, 2008 11:30 AM EDT reply actions
We are working on the human barbeque grill as you read this… and it is modeled after this juicy tidbit
http://www.funnyhub.com/pictures/pages/big-man-little-scooter.html
by CarnivoreAlienOverlords on Jul 8, 2008 11:47 AM EDT reply actions
Allahaver-
I always enjoy riding through Eastern NC to laugh at smilin pigs on the “Nahunta Pork Center” and other biilboards.
Made me think of the old Twilight Zone episode “To Serve Mankind”. I don’t think the prople on that space ship were too cheerful like dat peeg.
by yoyofutbawl on Jul 8, 2008 11:53 AM EDT reply actions
#9, OOC
Hold up on that one for now. My company’s latest and greatest invasive HR policies have Tebow’d my will to work here. Hopefully, I’ll be somewhere else in the next six months. Maybe I’ll open up some The Pig Fist BBQ stands ’round here.
by Allahver Fist on Jul 8, 2008 12:00 PM EDT reply actions
dude, that thing is going to look fucking AWESOME next to the oversized tractor tire in your back yard.
by kleph on Jul 8, 2008 12:04 PM EDT reply actions
I mean, I’ve played my share of weird sex games with the ladies but this pig has me beat:
by GamecockTony on Jul 8, 2008 12:14 PM EDT reply actions
Somehow I think Swindle’s grill brush is caked with tofu.
by Bagger Douche on Jul 8, 2008 12:19 PM EDT reply actions
I would follow this man into battle.
Nahunta Pork Center: “We Offer The Country’s Largest Pork Retail Display”. That’s now on the To Do list the next time I’m near Raleigh.
by Allahver Fist on Jul 8, 2008 12:25 PM EDT reply actions
I own a Traeger. It’s not the Bull one, but it’s probably the greatest grill I’ve ever used or seen. It’s bad ass.
I was going to get it modified to look like the Orgeron, but since he was canned I backed off. And a Houston Nutt grill would just scare the hell outta me.
by RaginCajunRebel on Jul 8, 2008 12:28 PM EDT reply actions
Sure, a smiling pig is mildly disconcerting, but dancing pigs, that’s just creepy.
http://www.dancingpigs.com/tshirts.asp
and delicious.
by jakldawg on Jul 8, 2008 12:56 PM EDT reply actions
Allahver Fist @ 19 – I have never seen anything quite like the Nahunta Pork Center. Never. I was so impressed I even bought one of their hats. All we bought – lacking ambition – was loin, and it was phenomenal off the grill.
by DC Trojan on Jul 8, 2008 1:35 PM EDT reply actions
Allhaver/DC-
I have seen the Nahunta signs along US 64, 264 & 70 since the late 80s. I didn’t go with my crew to Kinston today (4 hr drive) & missed my chance, always wanted to go there.
Nahunta Pork Center – undoubtedly “The Ted Peters of Eastern NC”
by yoyofutbawl on Jul 8, 2008 1:45 PM EDT reply actions
Nice obscure reference to a WWII Norewegian Nazi collaberationist. I feel like I do when I hear Dennis Miller rant and actually know what he’s alluding to.
by Mark D on Jul 8, 2008 2:02 PM EDT reply actions
Carnivore @ 13: I didn’t even know Charlie Weis rode a scooter.
by oc phil on Jul 8, 2008 2:21 PM EDT reply actions
Quisling, damn good reference orson. nazi sellout FTL
by swampchomp on Jul 8, 2008 4:17 PM EDT reply actions
Couldn’t find Frosty Morn, but this is almost as good.
by hunglikehussain on Jul 8, 2008 5:48 PM EDT reply actions
“I cant imagine and UT tailgater with any self-respect owning that thing.”
Do Texas fans actually care enough to tailgate? Self-respecting or not? Or does UT football just entertain its fanbase during the commercials of Jon & Kate Plus 8?
by meatybob on Jul 8, 2008 6:04 PM EDT reply actions
- “saw varsity’s horns off”…
That will not happen again this year.
by blon57 on Jul 8, 2008 9:56 PM EDT reply actions
- Do Texas fans actually care enough to tailgate?
Are you serious?
by blon57 on Jul 8, 2008 9:57 PM EDT reply actions
http://www.noisebot.com/please_dont_eat_me_i_love_you_t-shirt.htm
Maybe what pigs are really thinking?
by UgasTexan on Jul 9, 2008 1:37 PM EDT reply actions
Allahver Fist,
I greatly appreciate helping to spread the word about us. I was reviewing our website statistics and it lead me to this site. Shoot me an email at Gourmet_hog@hotmail.com so I can buy you lunch as a thank you.
Tiger O’Rourke
General Manager
Henry’s Smokehouse
by Henry's Smokehouse on Jul 28, 2008 8:01 PM EDT reply actions
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