FULMER CUPDATE: ARKANSAS SCOOTS CLOSER
by Orson on Jul 8, 2008 12:35 PM EDT
33 comments
Our slightly delayed Fulmer Cupdate appears this week courtesy of Brian, who as always, is hung like Reggie F'n Nelson. Clarifications, apologies, and refusals to do either of the preceding follow.
This week's biggest movement comes courtesy of your uncle who eats far too much cheese, cornmeal, and red meat. The most impressive scores of the week, though, continue to come from the Arkansas Razorbacks, who are welcoming Bobby Petrino to the SEC by piling up DUI Charges and getting involved in window-shattering scooter/car altercations.
The Razorbacks, awarded points for a DUI last week, bump up two points for a felony criminal mischief charge for linebacker Wendel Davis. Davis only picks up two points rather than the standard felony three because, in his defense, he was allegedly being pursued by a guy whose girlfriend decided to kiss Davis, and who is currently charged with terroristic threats. Thus the slightly reduced points, since we'd punch the windows out of someone's car who was trying to run our teeny little scooter off the road...if we were strong enough to break a pane of glass, of course. Which we're not.
Ohio State picks up three yards and a cloud of points for a bar fight
involving Ohio State cornerback Eugene Clifford, a backup cornerback who allegedly punched two men in a Coryville "tavern" this past Friday. The men were employees of the tavern trying to break up a fight, meaning we imagine them as "tavern" employees wearing stained poets' shirts, leather vests, and ladling up mead from open vats into silver goblets. Oh, and Grendel's arm is hanging over the door. (Taverns are immensely superior to bars in our imagination.)
A pair of misdemeanor charges gets you egg roll and two points, nowhere near the big board, mind you, but in the tallies for the season. Think of it as voting "present" in the Senate.
UGA's points stay the same. UGA lost a point thanks to the misdemeanor charges against Jeremy Lomax being dismissed, but gained on back as Michael Lemon picked up a misdemeanor assault charge to go with his felony assault charge from last week. It's a push, the Bulldogs stay at the same score, and Terence Moore gets to write an odiously stupid column made even stupider by the comments of Dawg fans below it.
yawn. Arent you late for a Jeremiah Wright sermon?
BTW Terrance - I will NEVER vote for your candidate Barack - and it is not because he is white.
Well - I read the article and all I saw was, Blah, blah, blah blah, I hate the Bulldogs because they are better than me, blah, blah, blah.
LOVE YOU TERENCE!GET THE LOVE OUT OF THIS TOWN!YOUR A MOTHER LOVIN KNUCKLE HEAD!
P.S. I WANDER WHO YOU ARE VOTING FOR IN THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION!
Over/under on the number of comments containing the n-word deleted from the column's comments? +/- 36. Easy money on the over. HAI IM ON THE INTERNETZ RACIST-IN' ANONYMUZLY!!! GO MAH TEAM, WHICH IS AT LEAST HALF-BLACK!
And just to get noticed, K-State has a player picked up for outstanding warrants. Points pending, because do we just charge him for the driving on a suspended license, or the nebulous theft charges, or god knows what else comes out of this? Take a point and hold your breath, Wildcats, as more may come from the processing center, which is working feverishly these days thanks to some late-season antics on the part of our fine student-athletes.
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Terence Moore apparently went to his editor a few weeks ago and said, “Boss, you’ve probably noticed that the well’s been running dry as far as this column-writing thing . . . OK with you if I just crap out a couple hundred words each week for no other reason than to arbitrarily see how much I can piss off the Georgia fan base?”
That said, it doesn’t reflect well on Bulldog Nation that we fall for this shit time after time.
by Doug on Jul 8, 2008 12:54 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
just to affirm your bit on Clifford, the name of the tavern he was arrested in is actually “The Holy Grail” so…touche, your imagination is not too far off-base.
by Nathan on Jul 8, 2008 12:58 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
As sad as it is, Doug is spot on about Moore. The man is nothing but a mud slinger and us Georgia fans should know better than to give in to his crap.
At least UGA has attained that status of being so good people write bad things just to bring attention to themselves since they are associating the school’s name. Tech on the other hand…..
by allyourkegsarebelongtostafford on Jul 8, 2008 1:07 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
LOLCATS is the only way people can make racism funny.
by mlmintampa on Jul 8, 2008 1:13 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Outside of the general rambling hatred, I love the comment that tries to compare an off-season (a few months) with four years. The combination of evidence + terrible logic + anger is truly funny
By Another joke of a column
July 7, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this
Do some research Terence. 7 players of 130 is roughly 5.4%. During a students 4-year college career, there is a 4.8% chance that they will get in trouble for breaking some type of law – usually alcohol-related. So the UGA football team is 0.6% above the national average.
by Andrew on Jul 8, 2008 1:27 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
O., if/when you come across a tavern that actually serves mead, please let your readership know…I make a habit of enjoying various intoxicating libations and although I have read of and am familiar with mead, its production and its place in history…I have yet to imbibe. That said, I was just thinking about the Kentucky Derby, and I happen to have fresh mint and Maker’s Mark, soooo…[sound of crushing ice].
by sb on Jul 8, 2008 1:33 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
SB, if you ever wander up to the Detroit area, Kuhnhenn Brewery (in Warren, MI — just north of Detroit) makes its own mead as well. And some really, really good beers.
You can find mead in some Chicago bars sometimes. I think Clark Street Ale House has had it at times — there’s a winery/meadery in Chicago called Wild Blossom (I think).
by Yinka Double Dare on Jul 8, 2008 1:36 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Good ole Terrance Moore… does anyone still read him? Does anyone still read the AJC?
And… I didn’t know those folks on the wrong side of Marietta’s Chicken had internet access. Technology marches on!
by UgasTexan on Jul 8, 2008 1:39 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Corryville is the Cincinnati neighborhood where many of the University of Cincinnati bars are located. If Eugene Clifford isn’t going to stay in Cincinnati for college, then he should stay in Columbus to earn his FC points.
by OhioDawg on Jul 8, 2008 1:43 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
mead is the vilest, nastiest shit this side of prison hooch. stick to lysol and mountain dew (a popular concoction here on the reservation).
by Der Schatten on Jul 8, 2008 1:48 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
OhioDawg
I believe Mr. Clifford will be in Cincy on a more regular basis soon enough, either as a player or a playa.
by Crabapple Buck on Jul 8, 2008 1:50 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
8
Which side of the clucking May-retta KFChikin is the wrong side?
He’s on our office billboard along with “Ranlo (Gastonia, NC) Police Station Burglarized” and “Bank Robber In Drag Nabbed In Columbia”.
The latter could have been Stephen Garcia, not sure yet.
by yoyofutbawl on Jul 8, 2008 1:51 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Yinka @ #7…I’ll be in Chicago in December…thanks for the reference.
Der @ #10…lysol and mtn dew…two great tastes that taste great together?
by sb on Jul 8, 2008 2:46 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
The only place I have seen mead is at a Reniassance Festival. Although I cannot guarantee how close it would be to being authentic.
by NavyHusker on Jul 8, 2008 2:52 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I still think Terrance Moore is just one of the two alter egos Jay Marriotti developed as a child to cope with all the fat jokes. The other is Scott Van Pelt.
And as Doug correctly points out, the only thing worse than the low & outside slider that is Moore’s writing is that we UGA fans swing at that junkball every single time.
by MaconDawg on Jul 8, 2008 2:56 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Onyebychi Chukwunonso Odunukwe
someone needs to smack that girl’s parents
by UFJim on Jul 8, 2008 3:19 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
So, let me get this right. Terrence Moore is an honorable, trained and respected member of “true” journalism and should be held in high esteem.
CMR granted him an interview and this is the unbiased, insightful and well researched “stand back everyone, I’m a professional” column that resulted.
The guy is a hack. Boycott him.
by hunglikehussain on Jul 8, 2008 3:30 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Fuck the AJC, Terrence Moore or no Terrence Moore.
by Bobby Decatur on Jul 8, 2008 3:34 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
The Holy Grail is the “tavern” that Clifford was raging in? I wasn’t there but is it possible that the employee got punched in the face because he told Clifford that, “I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”?
by Dr. Fünkes 100 Percent Natural Good-Time Family Band Solution on Jul 8, 2008 3:54 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Just noticed something regarding Terrence’s last few columns.
Stories on Jeff Francoueur, Braves vs. Phillies and Georgia State football: Less than 10 comments each.
Story on “why the big deal” with UGA’s passing: More than 200 comments.
Story on UGA student/athletes arrests: More than 300 comments.
If he could learn how to incite Auburn/Alabama flame wars, he’d be senior editor in no time.
Dawg fans, you are kepping this idiot afloat. Boycott.
by hunglikehussain on Jul 8, 2008 4:06 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Of course “kepping”, being an asteroid, would not make sense, “keeping” seems more appropriate.
by hunglikehussain on Jul 8, 2008 4:13 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Notice how the FC board reflects the national perception of conference prestige:
1. SEC (Bama)
2. Big 12 (Mizzou)
3. Big East (West VA)
4. Pac 10 (WSU)
5. Big 10 (PSU)
6. ACC (ACC)
by matt on Jul 8, 2008 5:16 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
21-
They are both delicious, but I think grog is the more appropriate choice when dining on mutton…
by chuy on Jul 8, 2008 5:33 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
“mead is the vilest, nastiest shit this side of prison hooch. stick to lysol and mountain dew (a popular concoction here on the reservation).”
I like mead, but I then again, I hate Bud Light (to the point of refusing one if it is offered).
by MiseanAUFan on Jul 8, 2008 7:09 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Mizzou is back:
http://www.showmenews.com/2008/Jul/20080701Spor004.asp
by Jimbo on Jul 8, 2008 7:14 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Wow, so Dawggies finally realize that Terrence Moore is a hack writer?
Tech fans have known this for years.
by Techie on Jul 8, 2008 7:53 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
wait, so a felonious incident involving a large professional college football player on a scooter and a charge of terroristic utterances doesn’t merit a style point?
i’m so confused i can’t even think of an adequate description for my confusion
by okiedomer on Jul 8, 2008 11:27 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
@ 5
The comparison caught me too. Let me reword it for the person who wrote the comment.
During a students 4-year college career, there is a 4.8% (according to some survey I made up in my head for this comment) chance that they will get in trouble for breaking some type of law – usually alcohol-related. So the UGA football team is 0.6% above the national average.
by Tricky Dick on Jul 9, 2008 8:21 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
- - okiedomer
Davis and O*&^%#%^ had previously been in TWO fist fights started by O*&^^^##$, one of which was in front of the football complex. I think we need to see a picture of the girl before style points are awarded.
I imagine the prosecutor will drop the felony charge against Davis and plea him to a misdemeanor charge + damages.
by Jim Grizzle on Jul 9, 2008 8:38 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Man, you can color Mr. Eugene Clifford gone from Ohio State. This kid has avoided the FC blotter by simply violating ‘team rulez’, but make no mistake—he’s been a headache since he rolled onto campus.
I’m sure we’ll get the usual wait for the courts deal, but I’d be shocked if Eugene is with the team in August.
And for the record: How in the world does a guy named Eugene get in so much trouble?
by Busted Draft Pick on Jul 10, 2008 11:49 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
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