POINT/COUNTERPOINT: NON-QUALIFIERS IN THE SEC
by Orson on Jul 2, 2008 1:35 PM EDT
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PrintThe SEC made a quiet change to their academic policies regarding non-qualifiers at their meetings in Destin. The new policies would allow more non-qualifiers to begin school and bring their grades up prior to playing for a given school's team. Each must be approved by SEC Commissioner Mike Slive. To provide the pro- and con- sides of the issue are Buxton Lewis the 4th and one promising non-qualifier football recruit.
I am appalled by this, and by my maid's ineptitude, as well.Point: Athletics Are Dangerously Compromised By This New Ruling and I Am Appalled By This.
As a prominent local businessman and graduate of the University, I cannot state strongly enough how appalled I am by the new policies regarding academics and athletes. I, like anyone else, enjoy watching my team play competitive football on Saturdays, and pay good money to the athletic department for a modest fifty-seat box, personal champagne bath to watch games from, and make sure that despite sending my children to private schools, they understand and appreciate the traditions of college football by attending games at my alma mater.
Excuse me.
Consuela! If there's dust on the mantle like last week I will be very, very displeased! La migra! you understand that, don't you? LA MIGRA VIENE AQUI! Rapido clean-o, por favor.
I apologize. You see, this is a slippery slope for we fans of the game.
Where do we draw the line? At actually funding public schools that fail these non-qualifying recruits from day one? Preposterous. I live in a rural county. Do you know what it would take to educate these people? Hammers and cookies, that's what, and my dollars and cookies aren't paying the tab, buster. I pulled myself up by my own bootstraps without a football scholarship, and I'm sure that with proper management of their inheritances and trust funds, you'll find they can too.
If anything, non-qualifying recruits are living proof that our public schools aren't failing, but working. A good student in a nice public school already survives countless trials my children, for example, do not enjoy the privilege of surviving, like choking on the mysterious gray cheese on their pizzas, for example. At a bad public school, though, only the fittest of the fit survive. Can your child ace an essay test with a shiv stuck in their side, or conduct a full chemistry experiment using only a lighter, a bottle of Robitussin, a coffee pot and some ammonia? I didn't think so.
Non-qualifiers have only themselves to blame, and football does not need them to succeed.
CONSUELA! THE BLINDS! DO I HEAR INS? RAPIDO LIMPIO, CHICA!
Counterpoint by Radio: YAY I KEN PLAY FUTBAL!!!
THey let ME paly FUTBAL!!! NO TEST! ASK MIK SLIV, HE SAY COOL! YAYYYYYYY FUTBAL!!!!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!
I GO CLASS! PLAY WITH BLOX! LIF WEIGHTS HIT HARD RUN YAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!! TOMMY TUBBY AND URBZ BUY ME CANDAY AND TPAIN CDZ!!!! TEXT ME ON TALK STICK SAY HI FUTBAL YAYYY!!!!
HAPY TIME HAPY TIME! GIMME HATBOX GO HIT!!!! YAAAAAAAYYYYYYY SEEEEECCEEEEE!!!!!
FUTBAL!!!!! GO TALK FIRNDS AT AOL NOW! NO LOGON!!! I'VE GOT MAIL!!!!! YAYYYYYY!!!!
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How do you know J…, uh…, one of my clients? I’ll bet it was Consuela…she’s been pissed at him ever since, uh, well, never mind…
by sb on Jul 2, 2008 1:42 PM EDT reply actions
Yeah, none of your schools’ alums, save Vandy, have a problem with this.
The SEC alum hedge fund mastermind, the SEC alum ven cap genius, the SEC pulp wood impresario, YELLAWOOD!!!!…
do not care whether their players can read or write, and you don’t, either.
Winthrop, IV does not exist in the SEC. It is Jimmy Bob, IV.
by Coop on Jul 2, 2008 1:47 PM EDT reply actions
That is an excellent, well-composed point/counterpoint. Kudos to you, sir.
I’ll have to give the computer back to Jerrell now. Have a wonderful day, “lawyer”.
by Jerrell Powe on Jul 2, 2008 2:02 PM EDT reply actions
Coop – Winthrop IV doesn’t exist in ANY conference. At least the SEC has the decency/balls to admit it. Steve Spurrier called it the way he saw it last year. It’s all about winning.
by hobeg8r on Jul 2, 2008 2:08 PM EDT reply actions
as long as they can read a playbook, who cares what grades they get? i dont know of any c-suites with “general studies” degrees.
by roofles on Jul 2, 2008 2:09 PM EDT reply actions
I always loved the “fat suit” they put Cuba Gooding in for Radio. Did they just stick a pillow down his shirt and say “perfect!”? How do you not give that an Oscar?
by Oops Pow Surprise on Jul 2, 2008 2:11 PM EDT reply actions
La Migra—that was the best episode of “The Amazing Racist” where he hires a truckload of immigrant workers, then drops them off at the front door of the local I.N.S office, then honks the horn, and dude they scatter…… All this does is basically make getting the kids back from hargrave academy easier
by Mr Pelican Pants on Jul 2, 2008 2:12 PM EDT reply actions
Buxton Lewis is actually Jon Cox, who was a minor candidate for the Republican presidential nomination.
by John on Jul 2, 2008 2:16 PM EDT reply actions
I thought Vince Young was too tall to fit in a shopping cart.
by Raider Red on Jul 2, 2008 2:56 PM EDT reply actions
@ 4
Winthrop exists in the Atlantic Coast Conference.
Oh, our Carolina and Duke, I am an alum, indignation bitch slaps our partners.
Winthrop is about to make another $50MM on his sweet crude futures contract, actually as am I.
Yeah, life is good
by Coop on Jul 2, 2008 3:12 PM EDT reply actions
It’s certainly a slippery slope that their attempting to climb.
Limit or place further restrictions on borderline qualifiers and its: “RAAAAAACCCISSSSM! HOW CAN Y’ALL DENY THEM THE CHANCE FOR A QUALITY EDUCATION.” “ALL WE AXE IS A CHANCE TO EARN OUR WAY UP!!!”
Allow more partial-qualifiers and its: “STUPID REDNECK SLOBS ONLY CARE ABOUT FOOTBALL – SO WHAT IF YOUR TEAMS CAN’T READ, ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS THE SCOREBOARD!!!”
Truly, walking in the footsteps of progress either way…
by Ryno on Jul 2, 2008 3:46 PM EDT reply actions
I call shenanigans – the truly wealthy can afford to hire native-born staff.
by DC Trojan on Jul 2, 2008 5:13 PM EDT reply actions
This just carries on the SEC’s proud tradition as a trendsetter in college athletics… if it weren’t for the SEC’s willingness to forge ahead in the face of overwhelming criticism, we wouldn’t even have athletic scholarships today (and I’d cite my point here, but I’m too lazy to go dig up the article… it’s out on si.com, or espn.com or one of those sites)
by PeterPumpkinhead on Jul 2, 2008 6:49 PM EDT reply actions
This comments thread is nothing without some pure unadulterated, want to see us all die a fiery death hatred from TAFKATOSU.
by Out of Conference on Jul 2, 2008 6:49 PM EDT reply actions
Coop, thenk yu for tellin us mor abut how smrt yu an yur cfonfrence is. I wont to b smrt lik yu won day but i am sec fan not abel to git in gud ivey skool lik climpson. Yu ar a ray of lit to al us litlle peeple.
by Chg on Jul 2, 2008 7:58 PM EDT reply actions
- - Billy Ray – nice pull, Randolph and Mortimer would be proud.
by Out of Conference on Jul 3, 2008 9:38 AM EDT reply actions
I’m hoping this will become popularly known as the Jerrell Powe rule.
by IvoryTower on Jul 3, 2008 9:52 AM EDT reply actions
Brilliant as always Orson but one small quibble. A few years back, INS decided their acronym just wasn’t menacing enough and changed their name to result in a new and improved acronym of ICE.
by DomerJD on Jul 3, 2008 12:37 PM EDT reply actions
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