Football is thug-roman-a-cleffish: Pat White really, really likes him some Hov. His Heisman promo site features a ten-song playlist from his iPod, and seventy percent of it is Jay-Z. No selections from the Grey Album, a travesty we’ll have to correct by sending him an email in his inbox, another feature of the site where you are free to ask him drooling questions about what it’s like to be touched by Erin Andrews.

Football is technical and awesome. PROST! Brian’s 2007 piece on zone stretch plays is just plain dead sexy geeky Nobellish. Reprint more exclusive content available only in primitive paper form for our pleasure immediately.

Football is Kragthorpe’d: 21 scholarship players have left Louisville since the spring of 2007, and Brian Bennett jams a ball of batter into the heart valves of every Cardinals fan on the planet by merely typing these words:

The one place the Cards can afford a defection on defense is on the line, which is where they’re the deepest. But they’re still awfully thin across the board.

And now you will set yourself on fire, Louisville fans! [/simmons'd!]

Football is YES YES YES YES YES YES. The Big Ten will have its own reality show following one program throughout the season, and its star will be…[NAME REDACTED]. He likes it. Scares him. Scary kind of like. Like putting a car into a trash compactor filled with propane tanks and lit roman candles. Exciting scary.

“This will be like having someone in your bedroom,” Zook said.

Grrrrrooowwwwwl.

Georgia Tech under Paul Johnson will have to follow the hearty, bland consistency of the Chan Gailey era, and that’s a difficult task given the ceiling for Tech in modern history has been the 8-5ish years of the O’Leary era. One thing Johnson may improve on immediately is recruiting, a weeping sadness during the Time of the Chancients when Tech only had Wake and Duke below them in recruiting rankings. SMQ, as usual, says everything you need to know on the topic period at all full stop in total.