FULMER CUPDATE: TIPSY TACKLES TIPPLING TREACHEROUSLY

Two points for OU. Big 12 South is on the Board!

I was afraid we would make it all the way to the season without a single incident. ’Chalk it up to the Sooners to keep that conference record intact.

Wow. I had forgotten just how craptacular that Grape Ape cartoon actually was.

5 light beers in one hour and I am still legal to drive, Boo-Yah Mother Fuckers.

Ken Stabler in his prime could probably drink as much as Loadholt did and still be able to throw a touchdown blindfolded whilst in a menage a trois whilst driving a pickup with his off hand. I’m not impressed.

Certainly this makes Jimmy Johns a snork.

Now, OOC and Cockengr, you head over to FGF and play with your ilk, because apparently McDaniel’s attorney, via Clemson’s boosters, is bribing the witnesses.

Oh, and apparently we are now back in the business of paying our current and future, see Loston, Craig, players.

I love your kind, as unintentional comedy is always the best.

Only in Oklahoma would there be an option for “reduced alcohol beer”

(grumble, grumble) Friggin’ 3.2% beer (grumble, grumble)

Its a gorill-ill-ill-illa!!!!!!!!

let me know if someone on mizzou commits a double homicide, otherwise the bama faithful and i will be clearing a spot on our mantle for the fulmer cup.

#7

I don’t drink beer. Too pedestrian.

What the heck is 3.2% beer? 3.2 alcohol? What good is that?

That calculator is a damn lie.

I hold the OUPD responsible. If the calculator went up to “OMG, it’s headed this way”, Phil could have calculated the appropriate level of alcohol to consume and I’m sure he would have acted accordingly.

I guess we should have developed a Cocaine Distribution Calculator back when Charles Thompson was there, maybe this whole Jimmy Johns thing could have been avoided.

Gerry Dorsey,
Surely, short of a herculean attempt, I think we have it wrapped up. We weren’t even on the big board and we were put up at the top by one player who fucks up.

Shouldn’t we get credit for the other 90 or so players who aren’t fuckups? No?

What if I get a picture of some barners fucking a goat, would that be enough to get them into first place?

That BAC calculator is a godsend. With the “reduced alcohol beer” option I can determine exactly how many L.A.‘s I can enjoy before it’s time to call it a night.

Just heard a story from a co-worker about a 4 time DUI convicted wino that frequents a bar in this redneck of the woods.

The wino’s routine: Drink a lot of wine. Go out to the car and blow into the BAL car starter device thing. If car won’t start, go back in an drink water. If car starts, go back in and drink wine. Repeat.

Intentional false accusers should serve the same sentence the accused would if found guilty.

#6

A lawyer making this quote …

“He’s got good witnesses, I’ll tell you that,” Olson said. “And these are not witnesses we just drummed up.”

is like me saying,

“I don’t think there’s any funny business going on in clempson, and I’m not totally lying about this at all.”

http://www.charleston.net/blogs/tiger_tracks/2008/jun/25/McDaniel_update/

#10

3.2 beer is beer that is 3.2% alcohol by volume. It is illegal to sell any beer stronger than 3.2% anywhere in Oklahoma unless:

(1) it is sold in a liquor store (in which case it is illegal to keep the 6.8 beer cold in the store)

or (2) it is brewed for private sales and/or consumption (like in a brew pub)

As far as I know Oklahoma is the only state that has this alcohol restriction.

#18

Thanks for the interpretation.

See, there are many reasons for getting out of Oklahoma as soon as you graduate. Or just not ever living there at all. :-)

We pretty much don’t have any restrictions on alcohol, firearms, etc. in Texas. This probably explains our low murder and execution rate…and, of course, no drugs ever come through our fair state from Mexico to supply people like Jimmy Johns.

Hey, I’m a gamecocks fan, but you need to fix the name on the Clemson section of this article. Ray Ray McElrathbey is obviously meant to be DeAndre McDaniel. Ray Ray is on his way up to Howard University.

I wonder who Deandre McDaniel’s roommates and the other witness are?

I would bet my salary that his roommates are also teammates.

I guess they have no vested interest in helping out their friend and teammate?

This is just how things work out in Taterville.

Last summer a guy gets killed on the lake by a starting OL who was driving a jet ski. Surely a 22 year old college student wasn’t drinking on the lake while driving a Ski Doo? Not to mention the fact that theJet ski didn’t belong to him, nor was he at a lake house that belonged to him, friends or family. Hmmm?

Damn. Jesus must be Tommy Bowden’s co-pilot.

CincySooner – Utah used to have the same beer restriction for 3.2 beer. You could buy stronger beer at a bar, but it had a label warning you it was strong beer. You could also only have 1 drink in front of you at the table at any given time or something like that, and you could only buy drinks at a bar at private clubs. I don’t know iftheir laws are still that way after they had the Olympics or not.

21.

Point #1, in your little take on the situation, you are right the roommates were probably teammates but from reports, the 3rd witness is a female neighbor. She is the one credited with the quote listed here.

Point #2, way to spin an unfortunate accident from 3 years ago to just last summer. By the way, the player was cleared of any wrong doing and it was ruled an accident by the authorities. Tragic, Yes. Proof of Clemson’s continued control of the local and state authorities, No.

But don’t ever let the facts get in the way of your need to delude yourself that everything involving Clemson is evil. Go back to gamechicken central to dicuss your ridiculous conspiracy theories.

I hate to get all legalistic on my beloved EDBSers, but I thought you cats did go to law school. A “witness statement” like those Williams ran to blog with (funneled to him by McDaniel’s wealthy CU booster atty or investigator) is NOT a deposition. Without seeing the statement itself, it may not even be sworn, so let’s back off on the veracity of McDaniel’s bros backing him over the ho, for now.

I am a Gamecock fan, but I would urge all to use restraint before jumping to any conclusions about this event, aside from the fact that the full heft of the Tiger wehrmacht is going to be applied to protect their already perilously thin linebacking corps.

If he did it, he is scum and deserves to be punished to the fullest extent of the law. If she is lying, she is scum and deserves to be punished to the fullest extent of the law.

#18-
There are similar laws in Utah. You can only get real beer at liquor stores, and to drink in a bar you have to be a member or something…But how did the Mormons influence laws in Oklahoma?

. . . and just this morning I was looking at the all-time Fulmer Cup standings and marveling at how low OU ranked. Two points isn’t going to get them on the Big Board just yet, but I kind of get a feeling good ole Phil just couldn’t let Alabama enjoy their ascension to the top for too long. OU is the original when it comes to coca-dealing athletically-gifted students . . . the original and best; don’t forget it, ’bama.

I’ll testify for a can of Sterno.

#25

I learned that from the movie SLC Punk, which is where I gleaned most of my knowledge about Utah.

#13: That goat was asking for it.

@ CincySooner

Minnesota has similar laws for 3.2 beer, but not quite as restrictive. That is all grocery and convenience stores can sell here.

Also if you ever are at a restaurant that only sells beer and wine coolers, you know it’s 3.2. it’s usually small neighborhood type places that are too cheap to get a better liquor license.

Aren’t there a lot of Indians in Oklahoma? I’m just saying… you know, Indians like to drink or something or so I’m told… not that there is anything wrong with that.

Wow, 3.2 beer in Oklahoma does makes sense.

@ 28

It’s the religious influence, and a pain in the ass. Now to me it makes no sense. If you’ve got alchohol, you’ve got alchohol. So why 3 instead of 6? You know a drunk’s just going to drink twice as many beers to get drunk, so you not only have a drunk on your hands, you have a drunk who’s fat and gross. There’s nothing worse.

I don’t know about Ok, but Alabama has laws against giving animals alcohol…at least they did, which would have saved OU their minor contribution to the FC if they could have gotten their legislature to follow bammers lead.

re: disputed domestic battery reports…hell hath no fury, etc…my lesbian, buddhist psychic says the karmic debt incurred by such actions (both real act and fake reports) are equivalent and even if not treated so by the authorities, there are others one answers to for one’s actions. I always prefered the Wile E. Coyote/falling anvil retribution visual…

so apparently the 3 statements for McDaniel are written statements McDaniel provided to his attorney. None of the witnesses have come forward to the police yet.