THAT IS NOT NECESSARILY A PR PROBLEM

I don’t really see where being retarded and barbecuing live ferrets for lunch is a problem either.

Clearly, ferrets are a dinner food. How could one even consider them for lunch?

So….one must RISE through the bush-league coaching ranks of the NFL before ascending the throne as Head Coach of Notre Dame?

Assuming he approved the title of the book, I can’t imagine why people would think he’s an asshole.

Cash in now Charlie, then give Gerry Faust, yeah, that Gerry Faust, a call. He’ll have some good tips on how to manage the incredible rise to Head Coach of a Mid-Major Team.

Remember that time Charlie Weis got his hand got in that jar? What an asshole.

Jesus, I’m a Domer, but that was a fluff piece par excellence.

I love you, you asshole.

I feel a little too much synergy around here lately.

Urban Meyer is a peach.

I thought being an asshole was a prerequisite for employment at Notre Dame……so what he problem is?

As always I dont care if he’s an asshole or not, I only care about abortions like last season not happening again.Charlie better win at least 8 with this years schedule…

“The biggest problem I have,” Weis says, “is people who don’t know me, who have never spoken to me, think I’m an asshole.”

That sounds like some teenage whore on a daytime talk show. “You don’t know me.”

To paraphrase Mark Twain, it’s better to keep your mouth shut and have people assume you’re an asshole then to open your mouth and have it be confirmed.

“The biggest problem I have,” Weis says, “is people who don’t know me, who have never spoken to me, think I’m an asshole.”

Should read: “The biggest problem I have,” Weis says, “is putting my pants on every morning.”

So, we’re asking the uber-asshole existential questions about his assholy nature? What did you expect him to say that would not confirm his innate sphincterocity?

The only correct response when posed that query, would be to reply that “Yeah, I guess I can be a bit of an asshole at times,” thus diluting, but not eliminating, the pungent stink of asshole that he wears so proudly, as if it was a chocolate crown made out of pork.

Geez, the guy flosses with ham and his shit has enough excess calories and unprocessed nutrients that, if consumed, would turn Ethiopia into the world’s leader in gout and type 1 diabetes. Disembodied anuses actually wipe pictures of Weis after they crap.

Sincerely,

Charlie Weis’s Gastric Lap Band

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

At Number 15:

Hey, if your not gonna re-swallow all of that, can Charlie have it?

Sincerely,

Charlie Weis’s Gastric Lap Band

1. is one of the more amusing responses in this site’s history, and that’s saying a lot.

But let’s be clear about one thing.
That fat asshole could go out and recruit all the thugs and criminals of the world to come and play football at Notre Dame but he doesn’t.

#14,

In regards to the aforementioned “Chocolate Crown of Pork”
Can they be purchased during the holiday season and given to Orson and Holly as stocking stuffers.

Charlie Weis’s Gastric Lap Band: Destined to be the next great name posting comments on this site, joining Dumpster Muffin in a pantheon of heroic snark.

Also, it could be the name of a thrash punk band in the greater South Bend metropolitan area.

1. - That’s a bold assumption, my friend.

At # 19:

Alas, as yet they are but a gauzy and ephemeral dream confection that dances in Charlie’s calorically-engorged brain.

And as for your clarification at # 18, the simple fact is that thugs and criminals consume a higher ratio of fatty treats and empty calories than do the wholesome Opie Taylor-types that Weis currently loses with. Better a 3 and 9 record on the field then nothing left in the training room vending machine but a bag of stale apples.

I’ve never seen someone work so hard to look smart while making fat jokes.

Love the blog, but was the choice of the word “retarded” intentional? At some other point in the package of stories this guy did on Weis, he mentioned how an “ESPN personality” apologized to Weis for using the word “retard” at a roast.

Weis has a special-needs kid (yah, yah, I know — he’s a saint, etc.) and said “Using that word is like calling an African-American the n-word,” or something like that.

Would you feel better if smart looked stupid?

EDSBS: where stupid smart=smart stupid.

Although ND doesn’t have a lot of thugs who sell coke and beat women off the field, they are going to get a ton of thuggish personal fouls this year, win or lose. I think they are sick of being labeled as pussies, and that fat asshole Weis is too. The Michigan game (week 2) is going to be fun to watch simply because there are going to be a lot of fights after the play. They won’t be able to get down quite like da boyz from da U and kick faces in, but it should be fun.

Yeah, I know, the point of this post by Swindle et al. is to increase site traffic and argue that being an asshole is not such a bad thing for a head D1 football coach so why whine about it. However, I’d like to hijack things a bit and offer up this puff piece on Urban Liar from a local FLA paper. Try to keep lunch down all.

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/sports/orl-bianchi2208jun22,0,7464175.column?page=1

So Orson likes both the laid back style of Pete Carroll and Rick Nueheisel AND the assholishness of Charlie Weis and Urban Meyer? Orson is the 13 year old girl who has a crush on every boy in her class.

UF Athletic Association 2007-8 projected revenues:

$25M – Gator Boosters
$ 8.5M – SEC tv
$ 2.1M – Marketing/sponsorships
$ 1.4M – Equipment contracts
$16.2M – football ticket sales

Actual revenue is exceeding projections. Laughing all the way to the bank. Thank you, Urban.

+1000 cocktails to #13.

I couldn’t help laughing out loud when I read that comment about Weis putting his pants on every morning. I know the Domers hate hearing the fat jokes over and over again but fat jokes never go out of style.

1. - ND rarely lacks in unsportsmanlike penalties or behavior on the field. How about when the ND punt return team mugged the Penn State punter (Kapinos?) or the shot on the Stanford qb (Pritchard?) which was the second of that day?

Whether they’re pussies is another story, but I’m sure there will be plenty of cheap shots.

@28
and I’d be willing to bet that you (and everyone who roots for your chosen team) would gladly welcome him to your campus with a parade the likes of which your town has never seen. Before lunch, of course.

I get sick of Weis’s Assholier than thou attitude