Teams: there are a lot of them. In our effort to bring you the finest “bullshit” coverage of college football, our Visiting Lecturer Series today welcomes Maize ‘n Brew Dave of Maize N Brew, yet another witty, well-read, funny, and utterly obsessed Michigan blog. Enjoy.
One: what color is your season? In other words, please explain the metaphorical state of your program through the metaphor of color:
Teal. Is it blue? Is it green? Who knows? Is it new and exciting or is it just ugly? Every new sports team, it appears, is required by law to include the color in their uniform and no one is sure whether this is a good idea or not. Seriously. What is Teal? Teal is not traditional. Teal spits in the eye of traditional. Haha, you ran a pro-style, two back set? Teal says screw you, the quarterback will be running draws! No one really seems to know what to make of Teal or Michigan right now.
Teal could be hot and new or it could be flashy crap that makes us look back ten years from now and wonder why on God’s Green Earth “Flock of Seagulls” were ever popular.
Two: What historical nation and period do you resemble most right now?
Post WWI Germany. Not really defeated. Not really entirely whole. Other than Germany’s penchant for fascism a decade later, the parrallels here are startling. In the 1910’s the AustroHungarian empire was a power in severe decline. While it wasn’t turning in 3-9 seasons, it wasn’t winning Rose Bowls either. During WWI, the Germans continued to attempt to overrun entrenched Allied positions by running straight at gunfire or a stacked defensive line. The theory being if you ran hard enough, the bullet or defender will bounce off of you. In essence you out execute the bullet. If you’ve watched any game during Michigan’s last four seasons, well, you know what I’m getting at.
The end of the war marked the changing of the German leadership and the final breakup of an Empire that seemed to predate most nations or athletic programs. Out were the last of the Hapsburg/Schembechler dynasty, in was this new fangled idea called democracy. Unfortunately, it took the Germans a while to figure this one out (you know, a swing and miss here and there [fine, four decades to figure it out]), so we’re hoping Michigan watches a little bit of the History Channel and learns from their mistakes.
Schembechler, center, plots troop advances in southern France, running game versus Ohio State.
Like post WWI Germany Michigan is currently short capable men.
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Clemson: already flying high, so to speak. 
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