FULMER CUP: WASHINGTON STATE'S HICKS TICKETED ON WAY HOME FROM JAIL
by Orson on Jun 20, 2008 10:01 AM EDT
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We've had delicious combos in life: vodka and champagne cocktails (the infamous "Stoli/Bolli" combo), Wuerffel to Anthony, being knee-deep in student loan and credit card debt, and that most exquisite of combos, the intestinal virus/stomach flu combo turning a normally continent human being into a double barreled cannonade of bodyfoul. Thanks, Nepal!
Never though have we pulled off the bifecta quite like Xavier Hicks, Jr. did this week. Hicks, whom you may remember most recently as the teammate who kindly assisted another Washington State Cougar with his contact lenses by pouring rubbing alcohol into them, was pulled over for driving on a suspended license on the way home from serving a 45 day sentence in jail.
Who did this? Me, that's who!
A misdemeanor ticket was issued, and Hicks did not have to return to jail, where he had just served a combined term for the rubbing alcohol incident and a separate fun credit card incident. He does, however, pick up two points for Washington State in the Fulmer Cup, with the additional point coming for the undeniably stylish feat of getting pulled over on the way home from jail, a combo comparable to being caught paying for a prostitute with your wife's credit card.
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The Washington/Washington State confusion here is making my brain melt
by Captain Awesome on Jun 20, 2008 10:05 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
“a double barreled cannonade of bodyfoul”
Now that’s some good writin’.
FWIW, I would have gone with quinela in place of bifecta, but now I’m splitting hairs.
by CKGator on Jun 20, 2008 10:16 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
“…a combo comparable to being caught paying for a prostitute with your wifes credit card.”
Yeah… not so much.
by GamecockTony on Jun 20, 2008 10:31 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
As humorous as this arrest is (and it’s funny as hell), the charge is total bullshit if his liscence expired while he was in jail. I mean… it’s not like they were going to let him out to renew it.
by CincySooner on Jun 20, 2008 10:38 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Maybe you lawbreakers out there can answer this one for me.
If he was driving home from the jail, that means his car was on-site for 45 days right? Where do you keep your car during that time? In the impound lot? Do they have special inmate parking?
I always figured going to jail was like getting surgery… make sure you have a ride home when its all over.
by CincySooner on Jun 20, 2008 10:41 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Kenny Stabler just called; he says if the kid wasn’t drunk, he doesn’t see what the big fucking deal is.
by Doug on Jun 20, 2008 10:45 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Howard Johnson banner ads? this site is going pop.
by john r on Jun 20, 2008 10:47 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
he did not have a valid driver’s license, so jail personnel contacted Pullman police.
Here’s the bullshit part of it. The people at the jail contacted the cops regarding his license and then they pulled him over.
Couldn’t they just have said on his way out, hey, better arrange for a ride until your license is valid? Bastards.
by Brian O'Blivion on Jun 20, 2008 10:58 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
- 6 – Most county jails have visitor parking lots. How else are Cat 5’s going to visit their clients? If he surrendered [voluntarily], he could have just driven to the jail; parked the car in the visitor parking lot; and walked to the front desk to be booked.
Another possibility is that he might have had someone drive to the jail to pick him up. The jailer could have seen him get in the driver’s seat and drive away.
by hobeg8r on Jun 20, 2008 11:00 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I forgot. I agree with #9 – total BS if they handed him the keys – knowing that he was going to drive – and waited for him drive away so they could call the police. Maybe they had to meet their quota for the month.
by hobeg8r on Jun 20, 2008 11:03 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
$1K to a friendly lawyer who advertises in the yellow pages will get this dismissed, unless the public figure aspect screws him over.
Spirit vs. Letter, essentially.
Still funny, though.
by Coop on Jun 20, 2008 11:23 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
- - I guess it depends on why the license was initially suspended. If it was for points – or a DUI – maybe not. If it was for an overdue ticket or failure to provide proof of insurance – I would agree.
As we all learned in Cat. 5 school, ignorance of the law is no excuse….though this guy seems to qualify on so many levels.
by hobeg8r on Jun 20, 2008 11:30 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
i once did an overnighter in lock-up with a guy who got a DUI 6 hours after being released from jail for another DUI. Yup- he went straight to the bar after jail and got wasted and drove home, only to get pulled over again.
There are just some people that should be euthanized like a lame horse and taken out of the gene pool.
and for the record, my overnighter was for drunk in public and inciting a riot, just for being on the field after the Auburn/Florida game in 2001. TOTAL bullshit charge.
by Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive on Jun 20, 2008 11:40 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
bullshit charge, but worth it…
by Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive on Jun 20, 2008 11:40 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Just to be clear, there’s nothing wrong with paying for a prostitute with the wife’s plastic, it’s just getting caught that’s the problem?
by Albino Tornado on Jun 20, 2008 11:48 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I once had a client who was scheduled for trial on a DUI charge – and while on the way to court for the trial – was arrested for DUI. Try explaining to the Judge why your client would not be showing up for Court.
by hobeg8r on Jun 20, 2008 11:50 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
@Blon,
Nah.
It was a personal check.
by GamecockTony on Jun 20, 2008 11:56 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
- So we can assume that wasn’t a good day in court for you?
by blon57 on Jun 20, 2008 11:56 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
" . . . a combo comparable to being caught paying for a prostitute with your wifes credit card."
This reminds me: when Jerry Springer was the mayor of Cincinnati (no, we’re not proud), he paid for ahem professional services with personal check . . . that bounced.
by DevilGrad on Jun 20, 2008 11:59 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
- that is how I know all about visitor’s parking at the jail. The Judge thought it was funny. Me. Not. So. Much. I have to agree with Excuse Me @ 15 – some people – Kenny Stabler notwithstanding – should be euthanized.
by hobeg8r on Jun 20, 2008 12:19 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Have a friend who paid for strippers with the wifey’s credit card. He’s divorced.
by Hayley Lafontaine is a Dumpster Muffin on Jun 20, 2008 12:20 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I meant #21. I guess I am still traumatized by the whole ordeal. At least I got paid. Captive audiences tend to pay you to help get them out of jail.
by hobeg8r on Jun 20, 2008 12:22 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
#24
If your client is in jail, how do they raise the money to actually pay you? Just curious. This would be especially relevant for the repeat offenders.
by blon57 on Jun 20, 2008 12:40 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
That’s what families are for. They bail you out of trouble. At least here in Florida.
by hobeg8r on Jun 20, 2008 1:49 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Hicks could have picked up at least one more style point by saying—It’s not my car
by scott on Jun 20, 2008 8:38 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
That has to earn Washington State more than two more points. That is just too funny.
by Z on Jun 22, 2008 5:42 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Many years ago, I had a buddy who was called to jury duty. He was impaneled on the jury on a Friday afternoon, and was told to report back Monday morning for the Trial to begin. The defendant of the trial was charged with Drunk driving. When my friend reported for duty he was told that the charge was dismissed. Seems that the arresting officer and only witness for the procecution was involved in a fatal car wreck over the weekend. The officer was drunk, and slammed his personal vechicle into a tree, killed on the spot..Sad but true…
by WodkaJim on Jun 23, 2008 5:17 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
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