CORRECTIONS, 6/20/2008
Monday’s “The SEC East, Astronomy, & You” feature misidentified a celestial phenomenon seen blazing through the skies over Orlando last week. The object reported as “[Florida safety] Kyle Jackson still encircling our planet in a torrent of flame following the Capital One Bowl” was, in fact, an early Perseid meteor, although one that seems to share Jackson’s poor choice of tackling angles. We regret the error.

Artist’s rendering not to scale.
This week’s sidebar poll, on the comparative beauty of COACH Rick Neuheisel <3, contains no mention of Pete Carroll. After much debate amongst our staff, we came to the conclusion that invoking Pete Carroll in the college football blogosphere carries consequences very similar to those of Godwin’s Law. He is removed from this discussion because he is removed from us, existing on a higher plane of unicorns and everlasting muscle tone. This should have been made clearer, and we regret the error.
Yesterday’s “Where Are They Now?” segment on former Auburn coach Terry Bowden stated that the Yahoo(!) columnist has found offseason employment selling turkey legs at a traveling Renaissance Faire concession stand. Mr. Bowden’s booth sells snow cones. We regret the error.
Wednesday’s exclusive excerpts of South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier’s playbook contained an erroneous paragraph. The section reading:
Homage to thee, O thou glorious Being, thou who art dowered [with all sovereignty]. O Tem-Heru-Khuti (Tem- Harmakhis), when thou risest in the horizon of heaven a cry of joy goeth forth to thee from all people. O thou beautiful Being, thou dost renew thyself in thy season in the form of the Disk, within thy mother Hathor. Therefore in every place every heart swelleth with joy at thy rising for ever. The regions of the South and the North come to thee with homage, and send forth acclamations at thy rising on the horizon of heaven, and thou illuminest the Two Lands with rays of turquoise-[coloured] light.
is actually a passage from the Egyptian Book of the Dead. Although we remind our readership that you can’t spell “University of South Carolina Gamecocks” without SUTEKH, we regret the error.
Thursday’s installment of our award-winning Inside The Locker Room series attributed Notre Dame quarterback Evan Sharpley’s nickname, “Not In The Face”, to his infamous sacking at the hands of Navy’s Ram Vela.
Mr. Sharpley, in fact, earned the nickname during a spring break trip to Ibiza last year with several teammates. Further details are not known at this time. We regret the error.
Tuesday’s Curious Index contained a brief interview with LSU’s Les Miles, who attributed his in-game derring-do to “[his] twenties.” Our editorial staff mistakenly referred to these as custom truck rims for the duration of the piece, instead of the 20-sided dice Miles rolls on the sideline every 4th down. We regret the error.
[UPDATE: Our staff has just been contacted by Terry Bowden's cousin publicist, who informs us that the crushed-ice-and-syrup confections dispensed by Mr. Bowden are called Jewels Of Wintermount. We regret the error.]

Huzzah!









1
GamecockTony says:
The first two corrections contain way too much Science for me.
Other than that, very fucking funny, as usual.
+ 3 cocktails per hour (depending on your weight)
June 20th, 2008 at 11:24 am
2
Bagger Douche says:
I could sure Hulk up some Jewels of Wintermount right about now.
June 20th, 2008 at 11:32 am
3
Signal to Noise says:
Evan Sharpley is “Not in the Face”?
I was under the impression that Jimmy Clausen had earned that nickname on that trip, based on guesses as to the obvious substance holding his emu hair in place.
June 20th, 2008 at 11:37 am
4
Geaux Irish says:
Ha! Best installment yet solely for using the Terry Bowden update at the end. Great fark too.
June 20th, 2008 at 11:52 am
5
Dumpster Muffin says:
Not in the FACE!!!
June 20th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
6
DC Trojan says:
Evan Sharpley didn’t need a whistle when he was grooving to Tiesto at Paradise – he knows how to just put his lips together and blow.
June 20th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
7
impiri says:
I am greatly enjoying the South Carolina motif. Plz to continue thx.
June 20th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
8
Kerwin4two says:
That sounds like something Hitler would say
June 20th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
9
Oops Pow Surprise says:
You know who else tried to sack the Catholics?
June 20th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
10
King Harvest says:
#8 Nice.
I don’t kbnw what they are talking about, just the other day I purchased a turkey leg with spicey mustard from Terry 2 towns over,
June 20th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
11
Holly says:
+1 for invoking Tiesto, although reading his name gives me shivers of revulsion.
June 20th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
12
yoyofutbawl says:
O all knowing Thoth, we Gamechikins have sinned before thee by defiling the perfection of the Sacred Capon and must forever endure the horrible vengence of the Lurking Upstate Tiger, Horrible Man-Eating Alligator and Phat Phil. May you be generous in your forgiveness and only allow us to be defiled 9 out of every 10 meetings with these beasts.
June 20th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
13
Bamaleg says:
The terry bowden error is perfectly understandable. Actually he is selling turkey flavored snow cones. My souce tells me business is somewhat slow….
June 20th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
14
Muffin Dumpster says:
Clausen’s nickname is “Not in the Eye”…common mistake
June 20th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
15
GamecockTony says:
@Yoyo,
Ahhhh… Ahhhhh.. Ahhhh Men.
Let us go in peace.
Allespurrier, Allespurrier.
June 20th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
16
hobeg8r says:
I don’t know if anyone else saw this…but a judge in KY has officially ruled that Duke legally sucks.
http://www.courier-journal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/200806191827/SPORTS02/80619051
June 20th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
17
PW says:
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/columns/story?columnist=maisel_ivan&id=3453037&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab1pos1
Discuss.
June 20th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
18
Eric says:
No way! That was Terry Bowden at the Renaissance fair. I thought I recognized him.
June 21st, 2008 at 1:31 pm
19
Charles says:
So, I take it that the “HRA” in the bottom right corner of those Farks means that Holly can photoshop.
Between the blogging and the cleavage, does this make her a “triple threat?”
June 22nd, 2008 at 6:56 pm
20
Pillow Pants says:
There were no Jewels of Wintermount in the 14th Century!!! Rubish!!!
June 23rd, 2008 at 9:23 am