PALE. PERSPIRING. PRESENT.
by Orson on Jun 19, 2008 3:22 PM EDT
Email
PrintWhat have we been doing today to excuse a relative absence from the blogosphere? This:
We're at Division One Sports in Franklin, Tennessee getting foot placed to ass by trainers who, in the name of journalistic science for the Sporting News, are doing unholy things to us in order to convey exactly how much pain it takes to get in college football shape. That is an EDSBS shirt, and we do have a rubber band between the legs, and yes, we gave up on dignity somewhere around age seven.
Fun fact: football programs want speed more than anything else! And ponies! Pretty, pretty ponies.
(P.S. Small victories: they told us we did better than Clay Travis on day one, so we've got that going for us.)
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Wht is SN forcing you to blatantly rip off an idea that’s already been done on CBS Sportsline….by one of your friends, no less?
by PW on Jun 19, 2008 3:33 PM EDT reply actions
So, step one is learning how to do the Hawaiian Haka?
by hunglikehussain on Jun 19, 2008 3:43 PM EDT reply actions
Well at least you’re home in the jewel in the crown that is Middle Tennessee
by MightyMightyMitzu on Jun 19, 2008 3:47 PM EDT reply actions
PW—
With a much wonkier focus, of course. FYI, Clay was the cameraman.
by Orson Swindle on Jun 19, 2008 3:51 PM EDT reply actions
Stuart Scott says to stay away from the football throwing machine.
by Crabapple Buck on Jun 19, 2008 4:06 PM EDT reply actions
I’d like to hear (see) more about the two journalists in halter tops over to the left, thanks.
by Out of Conference on Jun 19, 2008 4:11 PM EDT reply actions
“a g-damn blogger has no m-f’ing business doing things of journalistic f’ing integrity like this!
you g-damn bitches are spoiling real journalism, leeching like dirty parasites off the teat of mass m-f’ing media! stop running suicides and crab-walking, you asshole, that type of behavior belongs solely in the domain of true reporters!”
-Buzz Bissinger
(a note from Buzz to get you out of any future drills)
by dawgaddict on Jun 19, 2008 4:37 PM EDT reply actions
bloggers out of their mom’s basement, doing athletic stuff. I won’t believe it till I see video and even then you’ll have to convince me it’s not flash.
by ThreenOut on Jun 19, 2008 4:45 PM EDT reply actions
If you’re not puking in trash cans, then you’re not working out.
by lawya1 on Jun 19, 2008 5:01 PM EDT reply actions
good eye 12. in the background on the left… oh wait.. you were thinking orson’s bunda weren’t you?
by ThreenOut on Jun 19, 2008 5:22 PM EDT reply actions
Swindle Strengths:
- Meets strict grade and testing requirements for the Big Ten Conference, where academics are held to utmost importance.
- “SEC Speed” in Typing
- Excellent Scores in “Wii Fit” drills
Weaknesses:
- Addiction to cough syrup
by The Fake Gimel Martinez on Jun 19, 2008 5:44 PM EDT reply actions
Swindle Draft Notes:
Pros- Excellent route runner, head for the game
Cons- Presumed lack of athleticism, prior criminal convictions, white
by chris on Jun 19, 2008 6:15 PM EDT reply actions
i dont think that being “better than Clay Travis” in athletics is anything to brag about.
by fife in the bay on Jun 19, 2008 6:28 PM EDT reply actions
I just hope those guys don’t do a number on your knees the way Pete Carroll and Chris Carlisle did to mine last week.
by oc phil on Jun 19, 2008 7:05 PM EDT reply actions
Swindle’s intensity is for shit. Your mama aint here, son.
“One on One” Starring: Robbie Benson, Annette O’Toole. Robbie Benson plays a naive young basketball player who gets recruited to a big …
Cut to Swindle crying like a like a little pussy….
by IM A MAN IM FORTY on Jun 19, 2008 9:26 PM EDT reply actions
Bonus points for Orson if he can get the instructor to wear the EDSBS shirt.
by Geaux Irish on Jun 19, 2008 10:29 PM EDT reply actions
Orson returns to shameful roots in the Volunteer state. YOu can never escape your past.
by John on Jun 20, 2008 1:47 AM EDT reply actions
Division One Sports Trainer: Orson, I want you D.O.R.
Orson: No sir. You can kick me outta here, but I ain’t quitting.
Division One Sports Trainer: Get into your fatigues, Orson. By the end of this weekend, you’ll quit.
Division One Sports Trainer: You can forget it! You’re out!
Orson: Don’t you do it! Don’t! You… I got nowhere else to go! I got nowhere else to g… I got nothin’ else.
by DHC on Jun 20, 2008 7:39 AM EDT reply actions
That Dog thinks Orson’s got tremendous upside.
by NativeSon on Jun 20, 2008 7:55 AM EDT reply actions
After the drills, Swindle gave the instructor some good tips for his EveryDayShouldBeMarchingBand blog.
by Allahver Fist on Jun 20, 2008 10:08 AM EDT reply actions
so many “full metal jacket” quotes went through my head viewing that image that i came close to r. lee ermy overload. but if there’s a cutline for that photo it has to be “waitin’ on the bogan.”
just imagine pete carroll telling you that you are a beautiful flower, orson, and you’ll get through it.
by kleph on Jun 20, 2008 11:15 AM EDT reply actions
Nothin for nothin, that trainer looks fat.
IF you’re not up at 4am and running headlong into a backbacking surf then doing situps in knee deep 65 degree water, well you’re just not trying hard enough…
this is how Alabama trains when they go to Gulf Shores, or Destin…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZMcELcrRJg
by Mr Pelican Pants on Jun 23, 2008 10:12 AM EDT reply actions
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