PALE. PERSPIRING. PRESENT.
What have we been doing today to excuse a relative absence from the blogosphere? This:
We’re at Division One Sports in Franklin, Tennessee getting foot placed to ass by trainers who, in the name of journalistic science for the Sporting News, are doing unholy things to us in order to convey exactly how much pain it takes to get in college football shape. That is an EDSBS shirt, and we do have a rubber band between the legs, and yes, we gave up on dignity somewhere around age seven.
Fun fact: football programs want speed more than anything else! And ponies! Pretty, pretty ponies.
(P.S. Small victories: they told us we did better than Clay Travis on day one, so we’ve got that going for us.)
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1
August West says:
Welcome to the state of Franklin!
http://www.next1000.com/family/GRUBB/sullivan.tenn.html
June 19th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
2
PW says:
Wht is SN forcing you to blatantly rip off an idea that’s already been done on CBS Sportsline….by one of your friends, no less?
June 19th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
3
hunglikehussain says:
So, step one is learning how to do the Hawaiian Haka?
June 19th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
4
MightyMightyMitzu says:
Well at least you’re home in the jewel in the crown that is Middle Tennessee
June 19th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
5
Orson Swindle says:
PW–
With a much wonkier focus, of course. FYI, Clay was the cameraman.
June 19th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
6
Crabapple Buck says:
Stuart Scott says to stay away from the football throwing machine.
June 19th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
7
Whohah says:
THE burning question: Will there be mat drills?
June 19th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
8
Out of Conference says:
I’d like to hear (see) more about the two journalists in halter tops over to the left, thanks.
June 19th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
9
dawgaddict says:
“a g-damn blogger has no m-f’ing business doing things of journalistic f’ing integrity like this!
you g-damn bitches are spoiling real journalism, leeching like dirty parasites off the teat of mass m-f’ing media! stop running suicides and crab-walking, you asshole, that type of behavior belongs solely in the domain of true reporters!”
-Buzz Bissinger
(a note from Buzz to get you out of any future drills)
June 19th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
10
ThreenOut says:
bloggers out of their mom’s basement, doing athletic stuff. I won’t believe it till I see video and even then you’ll have to convince me it’s not flash.
June 19th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
11
lawya1 says:
If you’re not puking in trash cans, then you’re not working out.
June 19th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
12
NewAZTiger says:
BUNDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
June 19th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
13
ThreenOut says:
good eye 12. in the background on the left… oh wait.. you were thinking orson’s bunda weren’t you?
June 19th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
14
The Fake Gimel Martinez says:
Swindle Strengths:
* Meets strict grade and testing requirements for the Big Ten Conference, where academics are held to utmost importance.
* “SEC Speed” in Typing
* Excellent Scores in “Wii Fit” drills
Weaknesses:
* Addiction to cough syrup
June 19th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
15
chris says:
Swindle Draft Notes:
Pros- Excellent route runner, head for the game
Cons- Presumed lack of athleticism, prior criminal convictions, white
June 19th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
16
fife in the bay says:
i dont think that being “better than Clay Travis” in athletics is anything to brag about.
June 19th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
17
oc phil says:
I just hope those guys don’t do a number on your knees the way Pete Carroll and Chris Carlisle did to mine last week.
June 19th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
18
IM A MAN IM FORTY says:
Swindle’s intensity is for shit. Your mama aint here, son.
“One on One” Starring: Robbie Benson, Annette O’Toole. Robbie Benson plays a naive young basketball player who gets recruited to a big …
Cut to Swindle crying like a like a little pussy….
June 19th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
19
Geaux Irish says:
Re: #15
Don’t forget history of drug use.
June 19th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
20
Geaux Irish says:
Bonus points for Orson if he can get the instructor to wear the EDSBS shirt.
June 19th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
21
josh says:
Go drink 2 for 1 beer at johnathans afterwards?
June 19th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
22
John says:
Orson returns to shameful roots in the Volunteer state. YOu can never escape your past.
June 20th, 2008 at 12:47 am
23
DHC says:
Division One Sports Trainer: Orson, I want you D.O.R.
Orson: No sir. You can kick me outta here, but I ain’t quitting.
Division One Sports Trainer: Get into your fatigues, Orson. By the end of this weekend, you’ll quit.
*****
Division One Sports Trainer: You can forget it! You’re out!
Orson: Don’t you do it! Don’t! You… I got nowhere else to go! I got nowhere else to g… I got nothin’ else.
June 20th, 2008 at 6:39 am
24
NativeSon says:
That Dog thinks Orson’s got tremendous upside.
June 20th, 2008 at 6:55 am
25
Erik says:
Swindle v. Travis Oklahoma Drill?
June 20th, 2008 at 8:00 am
26
Allahver Fist says:
After the drills, Swindle gave the instructor some good tips for his EveryDayShouldBeMarchingBand blog.
June 20th, 2008 at 9:08 am
27
kleph says:
so many “full metal jacket” quotes went through my head viewing that image that i came close to r. lee ermy overload. but if there’s a cutline for that photo it has to be “waitin’ on the bogan.”
just imagine pete carroll telling you that you are a beautiful flower, orson, and you’ll get through it.
June 20th, 2008 at 10:15 am
28
Mr Pelican Pants says:
Nothin for nothin, that trainer looks fat.
IF you’re not up at 4am and running headlong into a backbacking surf then doing situps in knee deep 65 degree water, well you’re just not trying hard enough…
this is how Alabama trains when they go to Gulf Shores, or Destin…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZMcELcrRJg
June 23rd, 2008 at 9:12 am