You can’t keep talent from being talent. It’s a lot like fungus in that respect, except that fungus can be killed with certain antibiotics and antifungals, and that talent doesn’t live in your skin, like ringworm or tinea versicolor. Also, talent doesn’t live in your skin. It lives in the pancreas, something most people don’t know. (Talent, in case you’re wondering, can be killed with bullets, electricity, or by sustained stays in Los Angeles county.)

What we’re trying to say is that we have talent, and his name is LSUFreek, and he has further submissions for ESPN’s “Face of the Program Series” as dreamed up by himself, ourselves, and with a contribution from Elder EDSBS Alderman Devil Grad, whose contribution should be fairly obviously spotted given his roots (Ohio) and fan affiliation (Miami Redhawks.)

North Carolina Tar Heels.

Dean Smith, a legend of basketball coaching, also saved the university money by doubling as its football coach for 36 years, as well, winning an amazing total of 83 games as a division one head football man. He also changed oil in golf carts for the ground crew on Sundays for extra dough.

Ohio State:

Those concerned with a possible Maurice Clarett appearance in their own neighborhood should be advised that after hitting the Goose, his aim become quite erratic, and the safety of bystanders cannot be guaranteed. Ironically, this same verbiage comes directly from the AP’s article on Todd Boeckman’s performance in the BCS title game, which we would reprint in part here if we had $37.75 to spare. (As it stands, we may owe them some spare change for typing “AP”.)

Washington

Ty Willingham makes men. And blast sites. And that cool green glass they sell at atomic blast sites.

Oklahoma

You’re live in the situation room. If it’s before December 8th, you’re invincible. Fear no man, and walk boldly into stormy horizons. If it’s after December 8th in the football season, tremble, and listen to Jack Cafferty complain about the bastards, the gas prices, and the kids these days and their bastard gas prices.