If you can read through the liberal insistence on such odious things as “fact-checking” and “using numbers,” the NYT’s Quad Blog previews of each team are addictive data sandwiches, indeed. Today’s is Troy, and in the ingenious things you did not know or had forgotten due to data overload, we learned the following two things.

1. Troy has more wins in the 21st century than Alabama. But but but the competition! Both played Oklahoma State in the past three years, and in that exceedingly thin slice of competition Troy trucked the Cowboys while Alabama in interregnum lost to them 34-31 in the Yaw Yaw game, the 2006 Independence Bowl. Sample size in college football means doing fun things like unflattering judgements based on “trends of one!” Yay!

2. Osi Umenyiora, current Giants lineman and onions fan, played for Troy. If you don’t know what we mean, go ahead and google “onions” and “Osi Umenyiora” and see what comes up, why don’t you? It’s not safe for work, you say? Shocking, and you’re welcome.

As long as Dumpster Muffin was not hurt, we all win. Both sides claimed victory following a ruling by a judge in the case of Cal versus the Treesitters/Treetards. The ruling largely approved the plans for the $140 million training center adjacent to Cal’s Memorial Stadium, but said that the University must allay any and all concerns about compliance with state earthquake codes. Translation: reading the actual nitty-gritty of this will cause your eyes to glaze over with the kind of thick, dull mucus that covers your entire body during neighborhood zoning hearings.

The important thing is that Dumpster Muffin remains safe and sound here:

In one of several tense moments Wednesday, a basket with two workers was lowered by crane to the trunk of a tall tree on top of which a screaming young woman was perched on a small wooden platform about 100 feet in the air.

The woman, identified by sympathizers as Dumpster Muffin, screamed and violently shook the precarious perch. The crane backed off, and the woman raised her hand in the air in a sign of victory.

When Dumpster Muffin wins, freedom wins, America. Also, if we don’t end up with a commenter named Dumpster Muffin, Sad Pandas walk through our soul unimpeded today.

Nepotism and $1.59 will get you a cup of coffee at Minnesota. QB Clint Brewster will transfer from Minnesota due to his highly probable lack of playing time after being beat out for the starting job. Clint Brewster’s dad, Tim, is the coach. Dan Hawkins doesn’t understand any of this at all.

Free Bennigan’s coupons! Brian keeps track of the ever-evolving evaluation of whether or not the Big Ten network deal with Comcast will ever get done/ involve a definitive outcome/ provide definitive WOOOOOO SEC! talking points for upscale trash SEC-centric blogs such as this one to crow over. (Not that facts will prevent SEC fans from doing this anyway, but still.)

If/when the SEC network happens in any form, the negotiations will likely consist of the words GIMMEH GIMMEH and sacks of cash and country ham being thrown over table in both directions excitedly. This describes most commercial deals of a large magnitude in the South, actually.

Make that a Hyundai, Jimmy. Bill Curry, who has agreed to be the first head of the Georgia State football program, gets a $500 a month car allowance. Factor in insurance and gas, and you can dare to dream big, Bill. How big? Like, “Kia” big, brah.