HULK APPRECIATE NEED FOR INTERNET SATIRE

by Orson on Jun 17, 2008 12:32 PM EDT

Hulk love his lawyer Murray Abramowitz of Abramowitz, Hagen, Howard, Stern and Kern. Murray always send birthday card, remember birthday. MURRAY MAKE HULK RAGE WITH HAPPINESS for good service. HULK APPROVE AND PAY PROMPTLY!

Murray do too good of job sometime. Like Hulk when he mean smash bad man with meteorite and accidentally poison city block with radiation. HULK VERY SORRY ABOUT THAT!!! Hulk direct inquiries to ACE ATTORNEY MURRAY ABRAMOWITZ. Hulk decline further comment.

Murray send Hulk pic. Hulk view with new iPhone 3G. HULK RICH! Hulk smash first two typing email before getting hang of it. HULK FINGERS BREAK PHONE! Hulk get hang of it, though.

Murray say this actionable. Hulk look.

Murray be like Hulk! Want smash fair use of image for satire. HULK LAUGH! Hulk appreciate use of image for purposes make laugh. Also like comparison between Hulk, Les Miles. Les Miles also able live through being bombarded with nuclear radiation! Hulk make Stillwater Oklahoma joke! HULK PUNCHY TODAY!

Hulk tell Murray relax and have colada. Murray say abuse of image. Hulk know value of image! HULK NOT TOLERATE OVEREXPOSURE! Hulk show Murray real worry for Hulk. Hulk see on gas pump this weekend. HULK SMASH GAS STATION AND TAQUITO ROLLER WHEN HULK SEE IT! Blame agent, not Hulk.

HULK WANT FIRE AGENT AFTER SEE THIS! Icy sugar juice flavored with corn syrup. Hulk not approve of American slavery to corn lobby. CORN FOR PIGS NOT MEN! Hulk also disapprove of HFCS as sweetener.

Radiation not funny, either! Radiation turn nice man Bruce Banner into ME! HULK ANGRY AT COMMERCIAL OVEREXPLOITATION, MISUNDERSTANDING OF GAMMA RADIATION! Classroom need moment of science! Hulk support education reform along with close celebrity friends Laurence Fishburne, George Clooney. Fundraiser later this month in Aspen! THIS NOT HELP!

Hulk also not believe gall to offer free taquito with three. WHO BUY THREE TAQUITO AT 7-11! Hulk think if want to die, faster ways, like fight with The Abomination or bullet through head. HULK DISAPPOINTED IN USE OF NAME AS VERB! HULK MEAN "SMASH!," NOT "EAT FOUR TAQUITOS WHILE DRINK GREEN CORN SYRUP IN CAR!"

Hulk not this angry since Ed Norton write boring drama script. Try turn Hulk into dramatic vehicle. HULK HATE WRITER/ACTOR/DIRECTOR COMBOS! Specialization key to all industrial success. Why not Yale man understand? HULK HATE POMPOUS ASSBAG YALIES. He lack definition in American History X, too. Hulk needed work at time! Could have personal trained!

Hulk conclude. HULK TALK WITH AGENT AFTER GET BACK FROM TURKS AND CAICOS! First Hulk enjoy last day with date for week on beach. HULK NOT KISS AND TELL! Hulk totally tell: Lauren Conrad. Hulk finally find woman to accomodate special size requirement! Hulk now slightly daunted!

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Comments

I appreciate the comparison to Les, but wouldn’t the more appropriate comparison be Joe Kines?

“GOTTA FINDA WAYA STOP DINSYDE TRAP! OFFENSIVELY YAW HAW BALL IN THE ENDZONE YAW! SMASH!”

by OrangeRedBlueBlack on Jun 17, 2008 1:00 PM EDT reply actions

Hulk should talk to Murray about the ramifications that Lauren Conrad has a wizard’s sleeve, or perhaps more of a canyon than an arroyo. She might not be pleased for that to get out. As it were.

by DC Trojan on Jun 17, 2008 1:01 PM EDT reply actions

Of the ramifications of revealing that…

dammit.

by DC Trojan on Jun 17, 2008 1:01 PM EDT reply actions

Honorable mention: Will Muschamp (BOOM) and Ed Orgeron (OY OY OY FOOTBALL)

by OrangeRedBlueBlack on Jun 17, 2008 1:02 PM EDT reply actions

Hulk read Omnivore’s Dilemma and Hulk support sustainable farming?

by Chips O'Toole on Jun 17, 2008 1:10 PM EDT reply actions

Hulk read Omnivores Dilemma and Hulk support sustainable farming?

+many

by Holly on Jun 17, 2008 1:12 PM EDT reply actions

Hulk keep his own chickens, and approve of sustainable farm!

by Orson Swindle on Jun 17, 2008 1:19 PM EDT reply actions

Holy crap that was funny.

“Hulk not approve of American slavery to corn lobby.” – Best. Hulk. Line. Ever.

Hulk Lobby Congress. Hulk smash corn subsidies provide sustainable farming platform. Send money HulkPAC. Hulk no get office on K Street. Promise.

by Maize n Brew Dave on Jun 17, 2008 1:22 PM EDT reply actions

I think only the Heisenberg uncertainty principle can properly be used to explain Hulk/Les’s position on the corn lobby with regards to corn dog loving LSU fans.

by Out of Conference on Jun 17, 2008 1:28 PM EDT reply actions

Awesome post! The education fundraiser part killed me.

And 7-11 taquitos are a top guilty pleasure of mine.

by John on Jun 17, 2008 1:36 PM EDT reply actions

@ 9 – Nice. Favorite Gamecock, by far.

Pollan merely came to the same conclusion Thomas Jefferson did over 200 years ago, but for different reasons.

Anyway, call me when everyone’s boss cuts their workweek in half so they can grow and kill their own breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Until then, he made some rather large assumptions about the American population, at large, that I don’t think are true.

People have an overall understanding of how that #4 value meal arrived on their plastic tray, they merely don’t care.

And, as someone who worked on a farm a couple of summers in high school, raising cattle for slaughter, I know exactly what it is I am cutting into to at dinner, and it does not bother me in the least.

by Coop on Jun 17, 2008 1:42 PM EDT reply actions

Clearly Hulk is a proponent of organic and sustainable farming, but what is his position on genetically-modified crops for use in marginal agricultural areas? Would Hulk smash ADM?

by Harris on Jun 17, 2008 1:46 PM EDT reply actions

The first Hulk movie was 2 hours I’ll never get back. It was really bad, like Catwoman bad. Chronicles of Riddick bad.

Now they bring back CG Hulk, with the as-if-the-first-one-never-happened title. Not this time fellas.

by Brian O'Blivion on Jun 17, 2008 1:52 PM EDT reply actions

READER LAUGH HARD AT PUNY POST! NOT SMASH TV ON DESK!

by OhioDawg on Jun 17, 2008 2:00 PM EDT reply actions

What’s going on in this clip?

The hulk (Miles) is holding something, he does a pelvic thrust and a huge object shoots out of his stomach knocking Saban against a tree?

by Bama_Buck on Jun 17, 2008 2:16 PM EDT reply actions

Would Agriculture Secretary Hulk approve of increased irradiation of foods in order to lessen the outbreaks of food poisoning? All I know is that delicious drink has inspired me to drink a Mountain Dew in the radioisotope lab and see what happens. I’ll either be sternly reprimanded, or turn more awesome.

by jakldawg on Jun 17, 2008 2:26 PM EDT reply actions

Hulk’s going to get real pissed when the corn-lobby-influenced permeation of corn related substances in our food jacks up the price of everything in about two months here after the Iowa flooding. Here’s to paying [insert locally relevant inconveniently high price here] for beef come football season. Needless to say, free taquitos will be out of the question.

by carlinthemarlin on Jun 17, 2008 2:53 PM EDT reply actions

Headline: “Hulk running on platform of change, against Washington insiders.”

Top campaign officials are concerned about a trend of voters noting at the exit polls that skin tone does play a part in their voting decisions,and those voters are largely going to Hulk’s opponent, Tony Stark. Stark’s campaign plans to use this as a case why he should be the Marvel Party’s nominee against Batman, who has already sewn up the DC Party’s nod.

by Signal to Noise on Jun 17, 2008 3:00 PM EDT reply actions

Sorry, can’t post now… I’ve got to get to Sam’s to load up on beef.

by UgasTexan on Jun 17, 2008 3:54 PM EDT reply actions

“HULK HATE POMPOUS ASSBAG YALIES.”

Devil join Hulk in hatred. Devil completely understand this.

by DevilGrad on Jun 17, 2008 6:12 PM EDT reply actions

DC Trojan @ 2 – The depth of Lauren’s canyon may be too much even for the Hulk. The Ron Jeremy Test should be applied for proper reference (since it is understood that if Ron can tap it easily, anyone can).

+11 to you, sir, for the arroyo reference.

by Studley on Jun 17, 2008 8:11 PM EDT reply actions