CURIOUS INDEX, 6/16/08
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| Someone’s got a cruuuuush! The Columbus Dispatch faithfully recounts the weights and measures of some guy named Terrelle Pryor. Squeeze the pathos from between the lines: “He is off-limits to the media, per NCAA rules, until fall practice begins Aug. 4. He did not return numerous phone messages last week.”
Sunday Morning Quarterback examines Bruins Nation’s expectations game and its evolution from the Dorrell regime to the advent of Neuheisel. It being SMQ, the piece is well-researched and well-reasoned; it being Bruins Nation he’s talking about, that’s not going to matter, At All. Duck and cover, Hinton: The advantage of running a single-issue blog is developing a hive mind that is very, very good at squalling in perfect unison.
Remember that Texas-Oklahoma ball-ripping bargfight? (This might help.) A civil suit has now been filed against the Sooner fan and the bar where the fight took place. This bears mentioning here because, in the process of reporting on the proceedings, the AP unearths the following piece of information: “The lawsuit mentions ‘a possible connection to a local sports rivalry.’” Huh. Look! A Sporting News list of the Top 5 rivalries of all time, in any sport! And two of them are college football rivalries! One or two of you might have something to say about this. Go on, now. Finally…since the last time I ran this circus, Cookin’ with Coolio has finished its (first?) run of ten episodes. Please tell me one of you won the autographed bell pepper. |
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1
them oklahoma says:
When you’ve got the super-de-duper hate fueled Iron Bowl sitting atop this SN poll, how on Barry Switzer’s green earth is OU-texas not even on the list? Seriously, people lose their balls over this game. The Friday pre-game alcohol fueled taunt-fest had to be moved from Commerce St. to the West End because too many people were being shot and/or falling from hotel windows. UNC Duke is fair enough, though the world-wide-leader needs to calm the hell down over it. Ditto for Red Sox-Yanks, though ESPN has just about ruined that game with it’s overblown infatuation. Once again, think of the balls. Did that poor guy lose his balls for a game that plays the understudy to a pair of rivals that can’t count to ten without overshooting by one? Even a nutt-less texas fan deserves more.
June 16th, 2008 at 8:11 am
2
suicidewatch says:
truly Auburn/Bama is the greatest rivalry ever because it is the ONLY thing that happens in the entire state. there are no other distractions. Ohio State and Michigan obviously gets more press and Notre Dame vs. USC seems more sexy, but nothing can compare to a college football matchup between two bitter rivals in the same redneck state where football isn’t just the most important thing, it’s the only damn thing.
June 16th, 2008 at 8:39 am
3
suicidewatch says:
plus before the Big 12 went a fucked everything up, wasn’t Nebraska and Oklahoma a bigger rivalry game than Texas and OU? or was that just the 70s?
June 16th, 2008 at 8:40 am
4
blon57 says:
#1
So true about UT vs. OU. Whether UT wants to admit it or not (and it just KILLS us to do so), OU is a very strong program that recruits and produces outstanding players (Skill, that is. Can’t say much for character.) and many championships. Considering that UT and OU are two of the programs with the most wins in CFB history, how can this not be a great game every year. Plus the unbridled hatred between the two schools. You have to live here to understand. For UT, A&M is an important game but OU…well, that makes or breaks a coach’s career in Austin. And we never forget losing those people just north of us.
June 16th, 2008 at 8:44 am
5
gerry dorsey says:
holy bama/auburn/michigan/osu/any other college football rivalry flame war
June 16th, 2008 at 8:45 am
6
okiedomer says:
i obviously couldn’t agree more with #1 – until buckeyes and bammers start seperating their rivals from their respective balls, i laugh at their piddly-diddly “rivalry”
speaking of balls…i think the longhorn fan who filed the civil suit may be facing an uphill battle – the criminal trial was going to be tough enough, as “he’s a god damn longhorn!” is a recognized defense to assault and battery in oklahoma, but now that he’s filed a civil suit, he’s got to ask 12 okies to give him money, which means the only way he wins is if he somehow can get a jury of 12 oklahoma state fans – the good news is ok state fans are probably the only one dumb enough to not be able to get out of jury duty – i’m sure his lawyer will ask all the potential jurors “are you a man? are you 40?”
June 16th, 2008 at 8:47 am
7
SpartanDan says:
Depends on what you mean by best rivalries – Alabama-Auburn might be the most intense one (although I think a certain Texas fan referred to in the article might disagree), but 49 other states don’t give a shit. Michigan-Ohio State matters on a national level almost every year; it’s easily the most important rivalry in college football.
June 16th, 2008 at 8:47 am
8
carlinthemarlin says:
NU-OU used to be tops for the 70’s and 80’s but OU’s run of, well, pure shit by way of football teams in the 90’s had already diminished it quite a bit. Still, that’s a game that needs to be played every year again.
June 16th, 2008 at 8:48 am
9
blon57 says:
“The lawsuit mentions ‘a possible connection to a local sports rivalry.’” Huh.
Rivalry is a huge understatement.
June 16th, 2008 at 8:48 am
10
okiedomer says:
#3
OU/nebraska was never on the same level as OU/tx, because OU fans don’t necessarily hate nebraska fans, and vice versa – OU and nebraska look at each other as worthy adversaries with dedicated and knowledgeable fanbases who are to be respected, while OU and texass look at each other with pure blood lust that often results in drunken brawls, shootings, stabbings, and the occasional amateur prostate surgery
June 16th, 2008 at 8:50 am
11
Rob says:
“Ya’ll all saw this one coming.”
Ya’ll all? Really?
June 16th, 2008 at 8:54 am
12
UgasTexan says:
Hey SpartanDan… this is me! Hi! This is me not giving a rat’s ass about Michigan-OSU!
Just because ESPN says it, doesn’t mean that it’s true.
June 16th, 2008 at 8:56 am
13
blon57 says:
#10
Same for A&M vs. UT. We hate losing to A&M, but they are still Texans and we know a lot of the people there. When the bonfire tragedy happened several years ago, people in Austin grieved with every other Aggie. A&M still talks about the tribute that the band played and how UT fans responded to the tragedy. In a way, they are us. We make fun of A&M, but we still respect them.
Sad to say, if that type of tragedy had happened at OU, it would have been a completely different response. Our only thought would have been that now there would be less OU fans around and that’s a good thing.
June 16th, 2008 at 8:57 am
14
Dr. James H. Cubson says:
#7,
And by ‘matters on a national level’ you mean it matters to Michigan and anOSU fans?
What about people from the other 48 states?
June 16th, 2008 at 8:57 am
15
Big Jon says:
Having grown up an Okie in the 80’s I’ll concur wuth OkieDomers sentiments regarding mutual respect for NU. Every year that game decided who won the Big 8 and went to the Orange Bowl to play for the MNC, usually against Miami. What made the rivalry with Texas so unique was that it was a non-conference game yet it was still the most talked about game on the slate every season.
There’s a bit of a little brother syndrome going on there too. Texas, as one would expect, puts up the “everything is bigger and better in Texas yeehaw!” rthetoric and everyone in OK is tired of the schtick. It’s all Oklahoma has to shut those people up, at least for a little while.
June 16th, 2008 at 9:00 am
16
blon57 says:
#11
Y’all all is perfectly acceptable in Texas. And put the mark in y’all in the right place.
June 16th, 2008 at 9:00 am
17
Blog Goliard says:
Agree totally about the WWL killing the Red Sox-Yankees rivalry. I used to relish their matchups…now I can hardly stand to hear a single story about them. Monomania is alive and well in Bristol. They’ve been starting to work their magic on Michigan-Ohio State too. (Hey, Herbie, news flash: neither one of them is ever as good as you think.)
As for rivalries unjustly left out: Army-Navy, goddamnit.
June 16th, 2008 at 9:02 am
18
BamaCPA says:
The difference is – here in Alabama, girls will nut-rip over the Iron Bowl.
June 16th, 2008 at 9:03 am
19
leNDmeabuck says:
To hell with with all college football rivalries, I just want to intern under Coolio.
June 16th, 2008 at 9:04 am
20
beckett says:
truly Auburn/Bama is the greatest rivalry ever because it is the ONLY thing that happens in the entire state. there are no other distractions.
Comment by suicidewatch — June 16, 2008 @ 8:39 am
Its also the only rivalry I can think of where fans get stabbed tailgating… THATS hatred my friends
June 16th, 2008 at 9:06 am
21
Blog Goliard says:
Also, the Iron Bowl is huge, no doubt about it. And there is so little else in that state, so one wants to see them have at least this feather in their cap. There’s just one problem though.
If you couldn’t be bothered to play the actual game, for forty-one years straight, you are forever barred from claiming the #1 rivalry in the country. I’ll vote for Lafayette-Lehigh, or even my ancestral Beavers-Ducks Civil War, ahead of you to emphasize the point.
June 16th, 2008 at 9:13 am
22
AUgrad says:
If by any sport, you meant any sport involving American teams, then the list is spot on.
If you want to involve non American sports then there are quiet a few rivalries that would make these rivalries look non-significant.
For eg – India vs Pakistan (any sport … in fact sport is not required here at all). England vs Australia, Germany vs England, Brazil vs Argentina, Portugal vs Spain.
June 16th, 2008 at 9:16 am
23
Doug says:
#14 — Fuck the other 48 states. The only thing that matters is what blue-collar folks in states like Michigan and Ohio care about.
At least, that’s what Hillary told me.
June 16th, 2008 at 9:26 am
24
okiedomer says:
#13
i completely understand what you’re saying – we took the same view with ok state when that plane went down a few years ago, yet i still celebrate this man’s birthday:
http://www.garylavergne.com/whitman.jpg
June 16th, 2008 at 9:27 am
25
Coop says:
Duke/Carolina in basketball > Oklahoma/Texas in football
Overall, collectively the best in the nation at what they do, and they don’t have to resort to cheating to do it. Tom Penders was breaking every rule known to man in Austin and he still could not get the Horns to the Final 4. My personal favorite was how he leaked Luke Axtell’s grades to an area radio station.
Some middle school football game in Texas > Duke/Carolina in football
June 16th, 2008 at 9:33 am
26
blon57 says:
#13
Love and kisses to you, too, Okiedomer.
If y’all want to experience hate, just come to Dallas in October. There just isn’t an experience quite like TX vs. OU.
If you can get a ticket.
June 16th, 2008 at 9:50 am
27
blon57 says:
#26
I meant to reference post #24 instead of #13.
June 16th, 2008 at 9:54 am
28
Coop says:
While I am at it, having been to both contests:
Georgia/Florida > Texas/Oklahoma
Granted, Dallas is a nicer city than Jax, overall, but a game at the “state fair,” is overrated, you can do the same attending certain State or South Carolina games annually, and Georgia/Florida has a nickname that it heartily deserves.
Sorry, but the unofficial World’s Largest Cocktail Party, again well deserved, trumps the Dr. Pepper Red River Shootout.
As for Dr. Pepper’s involvement, or SBC or whomever, yea capitalism, but still, cheesy.
June 16th, 2008 at 10:17 am
29
Doug says:
As someone who lives in Birmingham, Ground Zero of the Bama-Auburn rivalry, I can vouch for its intensity even after Auburn taking the last six. If anything, the Bama folks just get more pissed off with each Auburn win (which I think has been borne out by the threadjacks that have continued unabated on this site’s comments threads).
A while back we somehow got into a conversation here at the office about the Bosnian war back in the 1990s, and I made the comparison to a full-blown war here in Alabama between Alabama and Auburn fans: It’s not like there are two separate entities fighting across a shared border, it’s people with different allegiances fighting from city to city, neighborhood to neighborhood, or even house to house. And there are times when I think that comparison cuts the other way, too; if a full-scale military conflict ever did develop between Tide and Tiger fans, it’d be many orders of magnitude more destructive than a Texas-OU war or even a Michigan-tOSU one. At the very least, I’d probably have to flee the state and return to Georgia as a refugee.
June 16th, 2008 at 10:31 am
30
DC Trojan says:
AUgrad @ 22 – I had the same reaction. My favorites, all of which could be outdone:
5) Germany versus the rest of Europe
4) England – Scotland: we might not win often, but look for the “Bannockburn 1314″ flags for a tip on how to hold a grudge. First countries to play international games, which they regret now that so many other countries are better than them.
3) Ajax – Feyenoord: the forces of righteousness against a bunch of Nazis from Rotterdam. Requires dedicated train service which stops only at the stadium, and at the Amsterdam ArenA they paint the perspex walls of the visiting fans section so that the opposition can’t see one another – otherwise they spend the game trying to attack one another through the glass.
2) Al-Ahly versus Zamalek: Requires the Egyptian army for security and redirecting traffic to keep the fans apart; foreign referees only, and they have a preference for people who have refereed…
1) Celtic – Rangers. You might think that the Reformation is over but in Glasgow they know different. Losing its teeth a bit now because of anti-sectarianism laws in combination with police state surveillance, but you can still count on two groups of intolerable bigots knocking the shit out of one another and putting a brick or three through the referee’s window after the game.
June 16th, 2008 at 10:32 am
31
The Snake will Drive Again! says:
#30 – great international examples. However, here in the deep south we throw bricks through our own coaches windows.
June 16th, 2008 at 10:53 am
32
them oklahoma says:
29-
Oklahoma and saxeT have oil money, so bigger guns to watch stuff get blowed up real good. Kinda like the mid-east with a better accent and cowboy boots. Trust me, the hate is on par with the Iron Bowl. In ‘03 (65-13) I had a lovely conversation with a saxeT tri-delt. I quote, ” you motherfucker… fucking fuckface poor white trash Okie…go back to your gay trailer…aahhhhhhhhhhhhh”. This was walking through the fairgrounds after the game. Note, I was wearing a red golf shirt/polo with khaki pants. Very prickish-preppy but if it’s red, a texan sees white trash and vice versa. Oh, and this girl was in a freaking burnt orange cocktail dress. Don’t think she didn’t have a gun in her purse either, because she’s ready for this prospective war.
June 16th, 2008 at 10:54 am
33
Kenny says:
I’ve seen people accelerate through an intersection a little bit harder upon recognizing the UA or AU license plate on the front of the oncoming traffic.
It is the inability, or unwillingness, to revert to human form in the “We’ve all got to make it through this together” sense that really highlights the Iron Bowl rivalry. At some point you might give a crumb or a bandage to someone in need from your rival school. In this state politicians won’t run on it and beggars won’t ask by it.
I mean if one yard gets preferential treatment and fallen trees are cut away from power lines after the next hurricane because of the crimson/white or orange/blue decorations in the area don’t be surprised. Meanwhile there’s a host of stupid bar fight, stabbing, shooting, dog stealing, drink spiking stories to go around.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:10 am
34
NewAZTiger says:
Uh, when fathers start killing their kids after other rivalries, then talk to us about being close to the Iron Bowl.
Yes, that has happened in this state.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:20 am
35
Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive says:
all top-XX lists always receive the same scrutiny from people who want their favorites to be ranked number one. Many critics are correct, but most are just being homers (see commenter on article page who voted for Patriots/Jets- who cares, other than the spygate crap).
Take ESPNs top 100 athletes of all time a few years ago- there were HORESES on the list. fucking horses. They’re not athletes, they’re animals. What’s next- Doyle Brunson cracking into the top 100 as a poker athlete?
I don’t think the list- or other rivalries, for that matter- should be considered “best rivalries” based on violence, or no list ever generated would include anything other than South American soccer league teams. They kill their own players for scoring on his own team. They laugh at your torn balls.
Like the writer of any list, I may be wrong, but I think top rivalries are what they are based on tradition, history, unpredictable outcomes, excitement generated, fan base, etc., not number of stabbings or national relevance or even ticket prices (although that is a fair indicator).
I don’t give a shit about who wins Ohio St/Michigan or Cal/Stanford or Louisville/Rutgers even Army/Navy, and neither does 90% of you, unless it matters to your own team’s outcome that season. That being said, I will watch these games whenever they come on because they are usually good games to watch. But on the flip side I don’t watch Wimbledon or the Spelling Bee or The Kentucky Derby, even though ESPN tells me that all the cool kids are doing it…
June 16th, 2008 at 11:23 am
36
hobeg8r says:
If hatred is a guide, I think Mizzou – KU still fighting the Civil War is a pretty intense rivalry. I don’t know of any other sporting event where the memories of John Brown and Harper’s Ferry show up on t-shirts.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:34 am
37
Wes says:
KU and Mizzou can eat a dick. We prefer rivalries that are relevant AT LEAST twice in a century. Therefore, KU-Mizzou has been disqualified. And I lived in Kansas for two years and didn’t even know Mizzou was one of their rivals. I blame Mangino’s dietician.
June 16th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
38
blon57 says:
#32
Texas sororities are usually just as classy as we are beautiful. (I was a Zeta at UT, but I remember the Tri-Delts being a very class act.) Seeing someone from OU just brings out the worst.
I probably should send an apology your way, but…no.
June 16th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
39
okiedomer says:
#28
i respect and admire both osu/mu and bama/auburn as rivalries, as the hatred there is on par with OU/tx – but florida/uga? please
if my math is correct, florida and uga’s combined MNC total is less than texass’s paltry, disgraceful and shameful 4 MNCs – here’s a simple equation for you:
OU’s MNCs – ut’s MNCs = uga/uf’s combined MNCs
you johnny-come-lately’s need to reassess your rightful place in the world
blon – the night after john blake’s last OU/tx i ended up making out in a bar with some ut zeta – i wooed her by telling her how horrible blake was and how embarrassing OU foobaw was at the time – it was pretty magical
June 16th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
40
blon57 says:
#39
the night after john blake’s last OU/tx i ended up making out in a bar with some ut zeta – i wooed her by telling her how horrible blake was and how embarrassing OU foobaw was at the time – it was pretty magical
I bet it was. Zetas are pretty extraordinary, but I just can’t explain that poor girl…what could she have been thinking? Someone from OU…
June 16th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
41
Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive says:
i totally don’t see why how many national championships each team has in the past has ANYTHING to do with how heated a rivalry is, but if you want to make that argument, the iron Bowl fans would remind you that Alabama lays claim to 3,759,229 national championships.
oh wait- it’s 12…
June 16th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
42
sullivan013 says:
National Championships? National implications? If that’s what it takes to get you fired up for your rivalry game, more power to you.
But down in Dixie, it doesn’t matter if both teams are 11-0 or 0-11. This game matters from the moment of the final gun to the second before next season’s starting gun more than life itself. It splits families, marriages and friendships more than any other reason.
It can get you into shouting match February, and a fistfight in May, four full months before the start of the season. People live, breath, and die in the school colors,….whether they attended the school in question or not. Doesn’t matter.
You mention cross-state rivalries of Oklahoma/Texas, Missou/Kansas and OhioState/Michigan? They just don’t rise to the level of this INTRA-state rivalry. It’s the all-consuming fire that drives people to hate their neighbor/coworker/aquaintence/stranger-passed-on-the-street with a white hot flame. You could ask these people in CHURCH who they hate and they will point out the other team’s fans in their own congregation and swear that Jesus meant they should love their OTHER neighbors.
With other SEC teams I’ll gladly cheer when they play in bowl games, but not those guys. I hope and pray that every game they play ends in an out and out hammering by the other team, forever.
June 16th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
43
6 in a row says:
amen.
I took my driver’s license test on a fall friday, and the high school i went to we wore ties on our gamedays. I went to the DMV and took the tests and the lady told me that even though i passed both tests, she was going to fail me because i was wearing an AU tie and she was a Tide fan. And she did fail me.
the pastor of my church would “encourage” auburn fans not to come on the sunday before and after the iron bowl because he would deliver a striclty pro-Alabama sermon. After the first one I attended (out of curiosity), i understood what he meant and never returned on those 2 sundays.
A restaurant i went to once in Birmingham (neutral town, allegedly) had 2 unisex bathrooms and on game weeks they would label one “WAR EAGLE” and the other “ROLL TIDE”.
Certain bars and clubs in all towns would have a loyalty and they wouldn’t let you in on game weeks- or even in other months, for that matter- if you were wearing the other team’s gear- and it was mostly for your own safety.
I know every school has their rivals and people that they hate, but just because you hate a team doesn’t make it one of the top-5 rivalries.
June 16th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
44
fresh says:
AU-Bama is the most vicious rivalry in college football. Texas-OU is a distant second. Michigan-Ohio State? Please. Just because ESPN pushes it doesn’t make it true.
Ole Miss-Mississippi State, in the days of Billy Brewer and Jackie Sherrill, would give any rivalry a run for it’s money. Boosters hiring private investigators, etc. It’s just different down south. Pardon us if we laugh uncontrollably at the Michigan-OSU apologists. In Dixie, we get more intense over Christmas dinner.
June 16th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
45
Downtown Plainsman says:
What’s left to say…
June 16th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
46
SpartanDan says:
I didn’t dispute that Auburn-Alabama is nastier than Michigan-OSU. I’m not *that* crazy. My point was that Auburn-Alabama very often doesn’t even matter for the conference title, much less the national title. Michigan-OSU is usually the de facto Big Ten title game and very often has national title implications. That’s what I meant by “most important”. (OU-Texas has been at that level recently as well, but not for as long.)
June 16th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
47
6 in a row says:
well, when they come out with the “Top 5 Most Important Rivalries With Conference or National Championship Implications” list, then you can bitch about the placement of your game…
June 16th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
48
arlo says:
” My point was that Auburn-Alabama very often doesn’t even matter for the conference title, much less the national title. ”
Weak conference, maybe?
Rag on Bama and CPB all you want to. He set the records in the SEC.
June 16th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
49
Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive says:
Arlo makes a good point- if the rest of the SEC sucked as bad as most other conferences, then the Iron Bowl would have more conference and national title implications.
if you want to argue implications, the winner between Auburn/LSU has won the SEC West just about the whole last decade, or Auburn/Florida or FLA/UGA or any of the rest of the big rivalries in the south that tend to either make or break the other teams’ schedule.
June 16th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
50
Excuse me Stewardess, but I speak jive says:
bottom line- championship implications don’t make a good rivalry, they make for good ratings. A good rivalry is defined by a game with such deep-seeded agression that it doesn’t matter if the game means anything to the rest of the world or not, it’s still THAT important to many.
June 16th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
51
oc phil says:
#39) If national championships were the main criterion then USC/Notre Dame would be the “top” rivalry. But that is usually more about mutual respect and USC/UCLA has more hostility. But both of those pale in intensity next to what I saw in Columbus when tOSU played Michigan.
June 16th, 2008 at 4:28 pm