“If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children.”

Awww, look what I found at Hallmark, y’all! Finally, advertisers targeting the college football blogosphere:

…the card reads “With you, every day seems more Saturdayish”, which, upon further review, is creepy. We can do better:

(more…)

35 Seconds, bringing you the finest in Swindle Industries draft coverage.

Oh, Razorbacks. Conference rivalries aside, at this point it’s hard to wish them any ill whatsoever. It’s like a three-legged cat: Funny, but hasn’t it been through enough without poking it?

Arkansas faithful have been through the coaching equivalent of having your mom leave the meth lab proprietor for the traveling salesman with the clammy handshake, and as the sports beat carousel grinds into motion for fall, take a look between the lines at the coverage from Fayetteville, and the fine bouquet of “FAMILY!” and “TRADITION!” and “STABILITY!” wafting from every passage….with just a soupcon of “…RIGHT?”

Arkansas News Bureau: Bobby Petrino knows where he came from! Bobby Petrino respects his elders! Bobby Petrino’s one a’them faincy triple-option folks, but he’s not here to hurt you!

Arkansas Democrat Gazette: Bobby Petrino loves his kid! And has always given him a seven-minute warning to pack his things before beating a path out of town! His family is settling into the community nicely!

KTHV Little Rock: Bobby Petrino is looking forward to August! Look at his eyes flickering back and forth. Now, trust him. Just this once. Because this is the only time he’ll ever mean it when he says he’ll still be here in two months.

Sporting News: Casey Dick’s stock, a steady “buy”. Poor kid, finally. And he’s only got one more season, so if his coach cuts and runs, Dick will at least be safe in the warm embrace of the combine.

Yes, everything’s coming up Bobby. Um, except the Falcons. Ow.

Teams: there are a lot of them. In our effort to bring you the finest “bullshit” coverage of college football, we have begun the best method we could think of to write about teams we know next to nothing about: asking others to write about them for us. Our Visiting Lecturer Series today presents John Radcliff of Mountainlair.

One: what color is your season? In other words, please explain the metaphorical state of your program through the metaphor of color:

Blue might work, but Old Gold is definitely out. My memory of West Virginia football dates back to attending games at Old Mountaineer Field, and I can say that this has been the absolute worst off season ever. Dark Slate Grey seems about right. It’s not quite as dark as coal, but close. Between the back stabbing comments from WVU and Rich Rodriguez going at it in the media, and the mad dash the Mountaineers are making at the Fulmer Cup, it’s hard to think about what an exciting football team this is. There are a lot of Victorian homes around here with the original slate roofs.You can look at them and tell they were something in their day, like the Mountaineers on game day. But right now they are an eye sore that needs to be fixed before irreparable damage is done.

Two: What historical nation and period do you resemble most right now?

Germany during World War II. It’s all about speed and firepower. West Virginia’s offense looks to create a weakness in the defense through formation and exploit it with speed and precision. Like Germany, West Virginia is known for having lethal offensive weapons that strike fear in their enemies. But their ability to stop opponents and hold their ground can be called into question. The run defense is always stout, but there are days that it seems we can’t cover our own shadows. And in a conference with so many capable quarterbacks, that could be a problem.

(more…)

We held onto this for a couple days, debating whether to run with it or not. Our source has served EDSBS the choicest intelligence more times than we can count, but this…this is unsettling.

Kirk Herbstreit, the WWL’s Golden Frosted Boy, is not a bad guy. We believe that. And we’re all about the dude-on-dude love, believe us. But there are LINES, man. Somewhere, there’s got to be a line, and we draw it here.

It brings us absolutely no pleasure, in fact, to share the following video, because, again, gross:

(more…)