Big XII’s pretty spot on.

 Except for the Missou guy being bitter at Kansas for the whole BCS thing.

 And the generic ruffles has beat the real ruffles in taste test the last two years.

oh holly…thought i’d pass along some new news in the offseason’s most riveting courtroom battle: drunken OU fan v. longhorn testicals

http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/article.aspx?articleID=20080613_1__OKLAH63710

i really hope this goes to trial, if for no other reason than hearing the testimony of an expert on ball-ripping

The only chips I hadn’t heard of are the Bonanzas (fake Ruffles), but I get the idea. They got it pretty spot-on, especially the way that both Funyuns and Kansas State football both leave a horrific aftertaste in your mouth.

The only one I don’t get is Colorado as Sun Chips. Huge potential? For what? The Buffs are on their way up, but Sun Chips taste like cardboard.

That said, I miss O’Boise chips.

Holly,

Time for a new Poll?

re: The Big XII as potato chips.

Brilliant.

The Big XII = chips thing wasn’t bad, but true to form as a Mizzou fan, they are incapable of anything resembling intelligent thought when it comes to KU.

I Can Haz Klallify?

Unfortunately, much like a Cheeto, a Nebraska Co-ed leaves you with cheese all over your fingers.

1. Funny statement from the Tulsa World write up:

The lawsuit mentions “a possible connection to a local sports rivalry.”

I can tell Orson’s on vacation. Holly used the Z-word.

name not redacted? good catch devilgrad

The East Lansing Contingent thanks you for misremembering Sparty as a Top 10 Wingman. I spend a particularly scary night high on something at The Riv, and Sparty had my back the whole time. Warrants are still pending, I believe, but luckily San Antonio has very loose extradition laws.

Why would Holly redact? She is a Vol and would have loved to see the Zooker retained.

Two points this morning:

1. I take issue with the West Virginia Mountaineer making the top ten list of mascots you’d want with you in a bar fight. Just a generic mountaineer/pioneer type. The better choice would have been a specifically identifiable bad-ass pioneer type. Of course, I refer to Davy Crockett, the Tennessee Volunteer, of whom we have historical, factual accounts of his general “badassedness.” After all, it is a FACT that he kill’t him a b’ar when he was only three, and more relevant to the football mascot discussion, administered the first ever ass-whuppin’ of Alabamians (albeit Alabamians of the Indian variety) at the hands of the Tennessee Volunteers. Sayeth Wikipedia:

  “On September 24, 1813, Crockett joined the Second Regiment of Tennessee Volunteer Mounted Riflemen for an initial term of ninety days and served under Colonel John Coffee in the Creek War, marching south into present day Alabama and taking an active part in the fighting, including the final victory under Andrew Jackson at the Battle of Horseshoe Bend. He was eventually discharged from service on March 27, 1815. Crockett was elected Lieutenant Colonel of the Fifty-seventh Regiment of Tennessee Militia on March 27, 1818.”

2. Holly is on the record as being pro-cheesecake. I vote that the inmates should run the asylum, in the absence of the boss man. Do I have a second?

All the chips seem to be accurate to me. At least it was explained reasonably.

1. - Are you the reason why Burgerama only lasts ‘til 9? I’ve heard the legends.

Also, Sparty’s easily taking down a lumberjack. I don’t know how’d he do against Big Red though.

Big Red looks like a polyp.

Vol, I’ll second that motion and move for a roll call vote.

Sundawg, if only this were a democracy.

This is the happiest moment of my blogging career

re: #16

This was actually before Burgerama, in the Saban days, if you can believe it…although I was pleased to discover Burgerama on a trip back a couple of years ago. I was also pleased that, after a night that included pitchers for everyone in my area (11 total) and more burgers than anyone wanted, I was presented with a bill totalling $33. I actually laughed wtih pure joy. Fuck I miss college.

I can’t really argue with him not making the barfight list, but the Scarlet Knight would rank much higher in case of a Tailgaiting Brawl, most notably because then you have the horse involved as well.

Other than the Mountaineer, and the Volunteer, I cannot for the life of me think of another mascot who actually carries a firearm. Kinda levels the playing field with Mike the Tiger, et al. as far as I’m concerned. The only mascots who would not have any qualms with being shot are forces of nature like the Tulane Green Wave, or the Miami Hurricane. Maybe we should have a top 10 most sissified mascots. Akron Zips anyone?

does the UNLV Runnin’ Rebel carry firearms like Yosemite Sam?

@23

Pistol Pete of oSU.

other weapon carriers:
the red raider has a saber or something I think.
UTEP miner carries a pickaxe
Purdue Pete carries the hammer/shovel dohickie.

personally the bananaslugs UC whatever could probably tear some **** up. all subersive and stuff.

@25

USC’s Trojan carries a sword and wear armor.

@24 and 25-
Nicely done. There are lots of weapon carriers though. Not too many who are straight up packin’ heat. Chief Oceola has a flaming spear, but to date has only thrown it into the dirt. USC trojan has a sword too doesn’t he?

ULL Ragin’ Cajuns by definition have at least a .25 caliber semi auto in one of their shrimp boots.

U Mass Minuteman logo has a rifle. I don’t know if Sam the Mascot actually carries one.

The Big 12 thing perfectly illustrates the difference between Kansas and Mizzou fans. Kansas fans like thick cut potatoes that are kettle fried. Mizzou fans like reconstituted potato mush served in a can.

Lil’ Red can call down the fires of hell and release soul raping demons into the world at his whim. I feel this trumps all weapons/natural advantages.

The NC State Wolfpack have an advantage because our mascot isn’t just a wolf, it’s an entire pack of them.

Joe Vandal don’t need yer weapons brah. He’ll rip you limb from limb with his bare hands.

1. et al:

In all honesty, while Krunchers are tasty, one must realize that a bag of them will put you at least five steps closer to joining your fearless coach in becoming a Hutt.

PS: 36-28.

1. The potato chip is one of the very few commercially available food items that, apart from a small handful of national brands, is distinctly regional.

2. Funyuns, Cheetos, Doritos, Chex Mix, Hot Fries, Sun Chips and (arguably) Pringles are not potato chips.

Do people in other parts of the world really use “potato chips” as a generic term for any crunchy snack, like those in my part of the world allegedly use “Coke” to mean any carbonated soft drink?

I really want to know.

Come on, the Buckeye has to be the worst mascot.

Get ’em Brutus!

(nut just sits there)

And even if it did anything, it would be to stab you in the back. “Et tu, Brute.”

Good point. At least a Golden Flash is sparkly.

And could cause retinal damage if you looked right at it.

carlinthemarlin @ 31…
Yes, Lil’ Red = H-bomb
End of discussion

See, i’m not the only one who sees the edible goodness of the Big 12. Although this list is easier to understand…

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=168065580&blogID=364275581&Mytoken=5952D863-8F8A-4713-BB9B6E99129BE04727335836

After watching “300”, I’ll take some USC Spartans with me as a backup in a bar fight, we would just lure the enemy down the narrow hallway that leads to the bathrooms and steadily stab anyone who tries to rush us….over and over and over….then sweep the bodies into the dumpster below…..
BTW, the Heisman commercial that was sponsored by Nissan last year I think had alot of Mascots in action, and the Bucknut was the large thing rolling down the street…the Sun Devil looks pretty scary though
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bW05-OjbCaE

Oski on the mascots you don’t want on your side? And that bastard “Tree” on the one fightin’ side? Oh no, my friend. You are wrong. Dead wrong. These two have gone head to head and it is clear that the Bear will not quit. The Bear will not die. Don’t let the fuzzy face and cute smile fool you. Oski is the bear in the early Faces of Death videos. Watch and enjoy as he chops down the “Tree” thing at a Cal vs. Stanford basketball game.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNMhCVjU6Fg&feature=related

Okay, if NAU’s creepy lumberjack gets on the list, what about University of Montana’s Monte the Grizzly? Sure, dude seems a little fruity, but he’s a freaking Grizzly Bear!

From the 10 Most Dangerous Animals in the WORLD: http://travel.aol.co.uk/the-10-most-dangerous-animals-in/article/20060926063809990001

Method of dispatch: There are many different sub-species of bear and not all of them are vicious. However, the polar, black and grizzly varieties are deadliest. Bears will trample, maul and generally savage their prey until they’re frightened off or finish the job; and will attack for a variety of reasons, hunger being one. You should always keep food well away from your camp.

A hungry, drunk bear in a bar fight? Dude, Stanford’s freaky tree is kindling.