STUFF CRIMSON AND WHITE PEOPLE LIKE
by Holly Anderson on Jun 12, 2008 1:29 PM EDT
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PrintVia the Alabama gentlemen of Picture Me Rollin and Uncle Rico's Time Machine comes the latest installment of our rippity-offity Stuff ______ People Like series
Coach Bryant: This is perhaps too obvious, but there is little doubt that since the apotheosis of General Robert E. Lee there has not been as much hero worship directed toward an individual until the time of Paul William "Bear" Bryant. There are goods odds that you could walk into any mom and pop diner in most parts of Alabama and start a very healthy debate amongst people that adamantly believe that debating is for sissies, if you threw out this question: Greater man; General Lee or Coach Bryant. Rest assured he wasn't the only coach to take his Alabama teams to the Promised Land. But he was however, the best and most of the modern association with Alabama's football glory days begins and ends with him.
There are a few things that need to be stated about the man and the legend though. First of all, it's Coach Bryant. If you refer to him as Bear you are a rival fan or brain-dead. Bear is a title that shows disrespect to the man, similar to the way calling a senior citizen by their first name if you don't really know them is disrespectful. He was "Coach", first and foremost.
If you find a crimson and white person's respect (or if you prefer, deification) of Coach Bryant silly or poorly placed then to quote Ricky Bobby "fuck you". Crimson and white people could give two red cents about your opinion on that subject. If you feel the need to point out that he drank to much or was of questionable character at times then you are simply jealous and crimson and white people are well armed with anecdotes that prove you are merely hating.
To prove their devotion, a new book is published about him about every 36 hours. If you missed the latest one, don't worry there will be another in about, oh, 10 minutes. The books are increasing at such a rate that soon someone will have to build the Paul Bryant Library, which will naturally be located next to the Bryant Museum, which is on Bryant Drive, not too far from the Bryant Bridge and Bryant High School and a conveniently located branch of the Bryant Bank, just to house all the books about Bryant himself.
Don't kid yourself and think that simple knowledge of him it is all that is required. It is also an obsession with all things associated with him. Like Golden Flake Potato Chips, Coca Cola, Chesterfield cigarettes, and most especially...
Houndstooth: Houndstooth is uniquely associated with Alabama, and considering the way merchandisers have latched onto it recently, that may not be such a good thing. While its significance does originate from a few of the fedoras the patriarch (see above) once wore, the term and pattern began infiltrating the fan base shortly after his passing if not before.
Is it good enough just for hats, tasteful coats and ladies dresses? Absolutely not. Following the rule that if it looks good on a few things it's got to look good on oh-my-sweet-lord everything you can now find houndstooth on baseball caps, hair bows, shirts, pants, skirts, beer coozees, glasses, underwear, thongs and bras (never seen that personally but positive it has to exist), and galoshes. Let's face it, much like "Living La Vida Loca", over-saturation has taken a thing of beauty and destroyed it for everyone involved. Nonetheless crimson and white people love houndstooth.
Sweet Home Alabama: It is without question the unofficial anthem for the University of Alabama. It is played before during and after every home football game. Crimson and white people cannot get enough of it. In fact, there are scientific studies, being paid for with grant money, right now to prove that at some location somewhere in the state of Alabama "Sweet Home Alabama" is being played. It is a virtual certainty that during any given tailgate session it is being played in at least a dozen tents and the total play count for the day would be in the tens of millions. In fact, if Lynard Skynard could recoup the royalties for every single play on any given game day, they could donate that money to the U.S. Treasury and erase the national debt in one fell swoop. Guaranteed.
The love of the song also makes every Alabama fan an absolute authority on the band as well. Visitors are advised not to say the words "Freebird" or "Curtis Low" while on the quad prior to a game unless they are prepared to watch three VH-1 specials on the band and hear several versions of the songs, including covers and the "awesome bootleg Aunt Rhonda got from the '76 tour"!
Daniel Moore: Fans of the crimson and white are also art connoisseurs. If by art connoisseurs you mean will go absolutely, fricking nuts for paintings of moments in Alabama football lore. Daniel Moore is the artist of choice, even now, in spite of a falling out with UA administration over the distribution of royalties. His paintings of great moments that are simply described by one or two words are in dens, living rooms and offices all over the region. Mention "The Kick", "The Catch", "The Sack", "The Goal Line Stand", "The Kick 2", and "The Coach and 315" and any crimson and white person worth their salt can immediately visualize the moment as it appears captured forever in oil. Not only that, they could also tell you what number of the limited series they own and where they bought it.
Many a smooth sailing marriage has run aground based on nothing more than the husband's desire to proudly display the only thing he will ever consider "art" and his wife's desire to relegate said "art" to the guest bedroom (or closet) because it doesn't work with the new French Provencal motif she was working on in the parlor. [PARLORS?? --H.]
The art of Daniel Moore, in all its greatness, could also render a quick lesson in economics; true fans are willing to pay hundreds if not thousands of dollars for a painting of an Alabama team blocking a field goal in State College, Pennsylvania while the Auburn fan next door wouldn't wipe his butt with the same canvas.
Of course, there haven't been that many great moments in Alabama football history lately. Mr. Moore still has to pay the bills and so Alabama faithful can expect these new masterpieces: "Take the Money and Run", showing Franchoine getting on a plane with Texas A&M on its tail, "Deer in the Head Lights" which is a collage of moments of Shula on the sidelines, "All the Way to the Bank" which is a scene from 2007 where Coach Saban leans over a contract with a distinct grin while members of the media and a crowd wearing Miami and LSU themed apparel look on in shock.
And while he is certainly loved by crimson and white people his work hasn't been limited to strictly to Alabama. Mr. Moore has in the past branched out to other schools in the conference, even rivals. When the Lilliputian spawn of the anti-christ himself was the coach of Auburn, Mr. Moore painted a life size, full body portrait of Terry Bowden in the standard 2' by 3' canvas. Also an inside source tells us that even now he has started on a new masterpiece of the most bitter rival to be titled "The Chop Block".
Big Expensive Four Wheel Drive Pickups:
Current students of the University somehow have the need to go off-road quite a bit despite the current expansion of campus and the improvement of the infra-structure. This requires them to have full-size, four-wheel-drive pickup truck manufactured by Chevrolet and Ford. We aren't referring to the cheap basic models either; no they need the four-door, all the options, burn more fuel in a year than most Eastern European countries model. The Warn winch with heavy duty bumper and fog and spot lights mounted to it for those extra dark nights at the frat house or apartment complex is also preferred as is the ginormous tool box despite a lack of tools to fill it. The vehicle is also required to have Browning and Ducks Unlimited stickers on its rear window.
All these vehicles cost more than the starting average yearly pay of degree holders from any major university, leading the average onlooker to ask, "Why do you need that much truck? You're from Hoover" This often brings the following response: "I know my dad's a CPA and the only land we own is the half-acre lot our house is on in Mountain Brook, but you never know when I might have to hook up to that fifth-wheel trailer of hay and haul it through snow and mud.
Conformance: Crimson and white people, love to look just like every other member of their gender on campus. For the males that means the same ridiculous looking bang intensive hair cut, Costa Del Mar sun glasses, a knit shirt with an alligator or polo player on it, and depending on the time of year, shorts and Rainbow sandals or boat shoes, or faded jeans and slip-on work boots or grey New Balance tennis shoes for the colder or more formal functions. For females it's Uggs, Nike shorts and swap tee-shirt during the day and a party dress and heels at night even if they're just going to Phil's for wings and a pitcher.
Whatever the occasion the important thing is that other than the color they all have to be as close to the same as possible. A member of the herd should not dare try to show any self expression or break the trend.
Conspiracy Theories: Because Alabama is in fact the Mecca of college football [*snicker* --The City Of Baton Rouge], it is logical that every other team and fan base would love to keep them down. Why? Most probably out of jealousy. The enemies of the true faith, or heathen (pronounced he-therns around these parts) have had some success lately. That is the only logical reason that Alabama has lost three straight to Georgia, is 3-9 and 6-6 with Tennessee and Mississippi State respectively over the last twelve seasons and lost a gut-wrenching lost six in a row to Auburn. All the haters want to keep them down. They call the NCAA and report things that they probably do themselves to keep from getting in trouble. They work closely with the NCAA (whom is loathed by the fan base), SEC, the FBI, the Justice Department, ESPN, recruiting services (some of them at least Tom Lunginbill we're watching you), message board moderators, and bloggers to keep Alabama from taking her natural place at the front of the pack. Everyone is out the them but they will not be deterred. They will keep plugging along and when an Alan Jackson Concert is cancelled just because Alabama was leading in ticket sales and on-line voting and the haters didn't want to see a success there they will all know that it's an effort to hold us back.
National Championships: If you are going to compare yourself with others then there must be a unit of measurement to quantify the comparison. For crimson and white people that unit is the National Championship. The school officially claims twelve and you can't swing a dead cat around in Tuscaloosa without hitting something to remind you of that, be it the flags that fly atop Bryant-Denny Stadium or the tee-shirt of the coed staggering hung-over out of her dorm to go to class. The odd thing is that there are upwards of 18 national titles that have been awarded throughout the long history of the program but usually rivals (and not impartial national pundits) like to point out flaws in the logic, or legitimacy of the awarding agency. But regardless of your measuring stick, Alabama has won a lot of National Championships, especially more than any other member of the conference, of which they have won more conference titles as well, and most especially more than little brother (Auburn). Crimson and white people all know this and coupled with the top-tier status in total wins, bowl games attended, and bowl games won, it gives them infallible evidence that their team is amongst the greatest of the great.
They are also not about to concede that a time in the desert means that they are not, in-fact, the chosen people. Little things like losing streaks and records in the current decade mean very little. They say to those who enjoy success at the expense of their suffering; congratulations, enjoy your time in the sun. Even the younger fans, born in exile, have seen the goal posts come down in an opponent's stadium or the billboard come up, celebrating the defeat of the once and ever-present Goliath. At the same time they cannot recall ever charging the home field to tear their own uprights from the turf. After all, regardless of the opponent or the record coming into the game, the Tide is supposed to prevail, and to the man crimson and white people believe that. They want you to rest assured the phoenix will arise from the ash and they knew all along that it would.
Thank you kindly, sirs. The rest of you may now proceed to squall that these posts should be written by rival fans, until the next post written by a rival fan, after which you will shriek that only TRUE ALUMS can poke fun at their alma mater. Binkies are available in the lobby.
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Really, Alabama still calls Auburn little brother? I think after a team beats you six straight times, it’s time for a reevaluation of the relationship.
by Ground0EastLansing on Jun 12, 2008 1:34 PM EDT reply actions
When did Mark Dantonio start posting comments here?
by zzgator on Jun 12, 2008 1:37 PM EDT reply actions
I confess I have been waiting all day for this thread.
by Holly on Jun 12, 2008 1:39 PM EDT reply actions
i’m slightly confused about the picture of an Auburn 2004 ring when discussing Alabama’s infatuation with their own 87 national titles.
by suicidewatch on Jun 12, 2008 1:41 PM EDT reply actions
im slightly confused about the picture of an Auburn 2004 ring when discussing Alabamas infatuation with their own 87 national titles.
This is what happens when someone sends me a guest post without any pictures, and tells me I can decorate the post however I like. Cheers!
(Sorry about Dead Bear Bryant, though. Kinda.)
by Holly on Jun 12, 2008 1:43 PM EDT reply actions
Bo Jackson was a nice touch, Holly.
Snitch.
by Tater Salad on Jun 12, 2008 1:53 PM EDT reply actions
Conformance: That is a Southern University thing, I was one and so were many of you, not an Alabama thing or a Georgia thing or a Tennessee thing…
Go to every SEC school, maybe except Kentucky and Florida, and a couple of ACC schools…
pick out 5 kids walking to class from Greek Row and put them at any of the other schools on the list. They would assimilate in about, oh, 30 seconds.
We’re all the same people, people.
Kudos to the Alabama boys for the best version yet, as you combined the students, which the Georgia version basically focused on, with the alums and generic fans, which the Tennessee version focused on, almost exclusively.
by Coop on Jun 12, 2008 1:53 PM EDT reply actions
holly, did you do this or was this by the sites mentioned at the top?
by allyourkegsarebelongtostafford on Jun 12, 2008 1:57 PM EDT reply actions
@ Ground Zero…
Does that mean that UM still gets to call Sparty “little brother?”
by beauford @ theonlygamethatmatters on Jun 12, 2008 1:58 PM EDT reply actions
Just a reminder, I was once spit on by an Alabama fan for retorting his “Alabama has 12 national championships” argument with “Yeah, but they got half of those when black people weren’t allowed to play.”
by Grimey on Jun 12, 2008 1:59 PM EDT reply actions
While reading this post, I glanced around my office to catch a glimpse of “The Catch,” at which time I realized I forgot to place my costa del mars, on croakies, in my F-150 this morning when I got to work.
My fiancee has a houndstooth dress and a houndstooth headband. I have a houndstooth hugger.
by Tater Salad on Jun 12, 2008 1:59 PM EDT reply actions
I was waiting for a Bama Bangs reference, and I was not disappointed.
by El Hombre on Jun 12, 2008 2:00 PM EDT reply actions
holly, did you do this or was this by the sites mentioned at the top?
This may help.
by Holly on Jun 12, 2008 2:01 PM EDT reply actions
I would like to dispute any of this, but a) it’s all true, and b) when your last undefeated season was 1904 it’s difficult to argue your competence to comment.
(The bit about Hoover could not be truer if God, Bear and Johnny Cash walked it down from the mountain on stone tablets.)
by VandyJ on Jun 12, 2008 2:02 PM EDT reply actions
Except for the massive dichotomy between the alumni and the “pickup truck” alumni, Rico nailed it.
Oh Holly dear, what was that score again. Oh, yeah 41-17.
Fix the pictures, dear.
by BamaTaxMan on Jun 12, 2008 2:03 PM EDT reply actions
Speaking of Alabama artwork, I would have bought “Comes the Tide” for my dad if it hadn’t been so expensive (the art kiosk in the mall never had a clearance sale).
by Grimey on Jun 12, 2008 2:03 PM EDT reply actions
Other things the Crimson and White like:
The contemporary motto “Bama’s Back!”
Embarrassing moments not punctuated with a derisive “This is Alabama football!”
by Kenny on Jun 12, 2008 2:06 PM EDT reply actions
Man, that picture of Coach Bryant looks really shredded, all de-carbed, eerily similar to some old bodybuilders, light weight division, that you can find at Gulf Shores if you were to photo shop a Crimson Speedo with the “A” in the corner, and that shade of “Pro-tan” is right on…. and the new and improved
“Sweet Home Alabama” version is done by a Canadian band called “Kookshow”-on myspace…the best version post -1999 yet….
Our goal in the short term is to hogtie the Barn this year so they will implode and get rid of Tubs and by THE YEAR TWO THOUSAND AND TEN and then go on to beat tOSU SO SHALL IT BE WRITTEN IN THE ARCHIVES OF THE BRYANT MUSEUM LOCATED AT THREE FIFTEEN BRYANT DRIVE AT THE INTERSECTION OF LEGENDARY AND IMMORTAL
by Mr Pelican Pants on Jun 12, 2008 2:07 PM EDT reply actions
for some reason my number keys do not work what i meant to say was we will win the SEC by two thousand and ten…then beat tOSU in the BCS natl champeenship that should be the 4th loss on the Natl stage…
by Mr Pelican Pants on Jun 12, 2008 2:13 PM EDT reply actions
I love going to Bama and asking the fans if they’re going to roll Toomer’s Corner after the game…they’re so CUTE when you confuse them with Auburn.
by RaginCajunRebel on Jun 12, 2008 2:16 PM EDT reply actions
Oh, and is it just me, or is Dead Bear just finishing up his third season of Flavor of Love on VH1? Who knew Bear was such a talented hype-man?
by RaginCajunRebel on Jun 12, 2008 2:18 PM EDT reply actions
And for the coastal Bama fan, you cant forget Guy Harvey t-shirts, some sort of golf visor, either Crimson or Houndstooth, and your typical Chevy or Gmc 2500 with the Ducks Unlimited stickers or Browning emblem on the back window…..also used to pull the typical Contender offshore fishing boat….usually very sunburned from drinking before applying SPF 315
by Mr Pelican Pants on Jun 12, 2008 2:25 PM EDT reply actions
6-6 vs miss state over the last 12 years should be grounds for conference dismissal
by mark on Jun 12, 2008 2:26 PM EDT reply actions
@24: Don’t forget the Costas and the “Join CCA” sticker.
by woooooohooooooooo on Jun 12, 2008 2:29 PM EDT reply actions
Pure greatness. Most complete and accurate “stuff people like” yet.
by Last Dragon on Jun 12, 2008 2:30 PM EDT reply actions
Alabama fans are now simply referred to as “gumps”. This is their gumptionary…
Gump a fan of Alabama football.
Gumpdom the geographical area occupied by Gumps.
Gump truck the typical motor vehicle driven by Gumps, usually consisting of a pickup truck of 1980 or earlier vintage, colored red either by paint or by rust, and having at least one part touching the ground that is not a tire.
Gump vine the rumor mill concerning Alabama football or recruiting, usually populated with misconceptions, lies, or delusions of grandeur. For example: LSU offensive coordinator Gary Crowton is a lock for the OC job at Bama.
Gumpian referring to the opinion arrived at by a Gump by totally ignoring reality and logic. Example: No way we lose to Auburn again this year.
Gumpaloosa the site of the University of Alabama.
Gumpalucination the strong belief in a prediction that is based entirely on Gumpian opinion. Example: Alabama will win a national championship by 2010; or Alabama will beat LSU in 2008.
Gumpical commonly associated with or exemplifying the beliefs, motivations, misconceptions of Gumps.
Gumpism words or phrases repeated incessantly by Gumps. Example: Believe in the process; or In Saban we trust.
Gumplosion the widespread adverse reaction of Gumps to the real world crashing in on them. For example, the collective emotional outbursts of Gumps upon losing to Auburn for the sixth consecutive year, or losing to Mississippi State for the third consecutive year, or losing to the University of Louisiana at Monroe.
Gumpcipher verb describing the mathematics that allows Gumps to count 12 football national championships for Alabama.
Gumpalicious adjective describing a very attractive Gump co-ed.
Gumpgasm – the feeling of ecstasy and excitement experienced by a Gump upon hearing the latest Gumpalucination.
Gumpriapism – a painful erection lasting more than 4 hours resulting from a Gump perusing through hundreds of photos of Nick Saban.
Gump up – the practice employed by a recruiting site controlled by Gumps (e.g. Rivals.com) of adding stars to a recruits rating after the recruit commits to attend the University in Gumpaloosa.
Gumprobation — perpetual NCAA penalties brought on by the Gumpical belief that they should be allowed to cheat in recruiting, officiating, or paying salaries to athletes. Can also result from falsifying an athletes grades at the University located in Gumpaloosa.
by TD on Jun 12, 2008 2:34 PM EDT reply actions
The finest “Things (insert team colors) People Like” was certainly reserved for the fan base that is easiest to pick on…
by Billy From Baton Rouge on Jun 12, 2008 2:36 PM EDT reply actions
That picture of Bear Bryant looks a lot like Freddy Krueger.
by Geaux Irish on Jun 12, 2008 2:48 PM EDT reply actions
Leave ’em the hayull alone, people!
Bammers really are just art-lovers.
by SIW on Jun 12, 2008 2:49 PM EDT reply actions
- - If it’s the only thing that keeps you from realizing that a 1-6 record against OSU in the past 7 years is about to go 1-7, then by all means, go for it.
by Ground0EastLansing on Jun 12, 2008 2:50 PM EDT reply actions
From what I know of Bama fans this is right. All I know of Bama fans is what 90k people coming to a spring game and Auburn fans tell me.
by ThreenOut on Jun 12, 2008 2:56 PM EDT reply actions
Oh Billy Billy at #29 – LSU fans are a much easier target. Its all dependent on who what side of the fence you’re on.
by Last Dragon on Jun 12, 2008 2:57 PM EDT reply actions
Does Daniel Moore also have an accompanying, “Punt Bama, Punt!” print?
(trying to get the flames of vitriol even higher)
by Out of Conference on Jun 12, 2008 2:57 PM EDT reply actions
LSU, incidentally, is coming next week, and it’s shaping up to be a glorious, glorious thing.
by Holly on Jun 12, 2008 3:03 PM EDT reply actions
I’d like to see photos of the Houndstooth Twins in said Houndstooth thongs. Just to prove their existence, of course.
by GamecockTony on Jun 12, 2008 3:06 PM EDT reply actions
#1: Auburn has been playing football longer than Alabama – opening on the road vs UGA, while Alabama started later and opened against Birmingham High School. Alabama is called the Crimson Tide because they tied Auburn in 1907. But, we’re the “little brother”.
But hey, they got the Elephant from beating a 3-5-1 Ole Miss team in 1930, so they got that goin’ for them.
by NewAZTiger on Jun 12, 2008 3:07 PM EDT reply actions
by ThreenOut on Jun 12, 2008 3:08 PM EDT reply actions
I live in Alabama, and I was raised to be skeptical of the Bammers, but since I have lived here, it has become increasingly clear that they are a very bizarre group of people. That being said, I am always entertained. And to be fair, I always have a great time going to games in Tuscaloser. Even last year…at least before kickoff.
The only thing I can think of that’s missing is that guy with Bear Bryant back tattoo. Other than that…dead on the mark.
by Vol on Jun 12, 2008 3:12 PM EDT reply actions
Isn’t it interesting that every single one of these has been written by fans/alums of the schools that are being made fun of… except the “Stuff Red and Black People Love” article? I think there is some kind of UGA envy going on, this is BS. What gives?
by Dash on Jun 12, 2008 3:12 PM EDT reply actions
@28-
The fact that your post apparently, in your eyes, passes for humor, should result in your banishment from this fine site.
by Tater Salad on Jun 12, 2008 3:13 PM EDT reply actions
NewAZ-
Why didn’t you just link the other 700 times you’ve posted the same thing on this site?
Talk about living in the past…
by Tater Salad on Jun 12, 2008 3:15 PM EDT reply actions
Actually, the article also fails to mention that Alabama fans believe their school is the only one in the SEC that has tradition, and that no other SEC schools have tradition. The only other schools that have tradition to Bama fans are ND, Michigan, tOSU, Nebraska, and Oklahoma.
My favorite Bama tradition – head coaches leaving for places like Duke (named the stadium after the guy), Kentucky, UTEP, Texas A&M, Millsaps College, and Luverne High School.
by NewAZTiger on Jun 12, 2008 3:17 PM EDT reply actions
@40—Wrong-o. I wrote the Michigan one with our fearless leader, as well as the forthcoming one on LSU.
by Holly on Jun 12, 2008 3:18 PM EDT reply actions
- - just as easy to retype it as it is to link it. You know, like “Got 12” is easier to type than link.
Fun question…
If Saban goes 7-6 again this year, will the BOT make him “donate” 1 million back?
by NewAZTiger on Jun 12, 2008 3:18 PM EDT reply actions
@17
Congrats, you beat me to it good Sir.
Can someone please explain WHERE the infatuation with houndstooth cam from? Is it really a misconception from theplaid hats the bear wore? I’ve never gotten an answer to this.
P.S. Those “bama” fans go/went to UAB!
http://heyjennyslater.blogspot.com/2006/12/friday-random-ten-think-globally-act.html
by I fear sabear on Jun 12, 2008 3:20 PM EDT reply actions
- and 38 – there was an article on them in one of the Birmingham papers recently. How shocking that neither actually attended Alabama….although I think one is at UAB (which would kill you if you refer to them as part of Alabama – they are UAB, damn it!).
Excellent work Holly!! From the only other XX chromosome who regularly reads this…………….
by ATL AU Tiger on Jun 12, 2008 3:25 PM EDT reply actions
If we go 7 and 6, and after we beat Auburn, the BOT will give him 6 million euro-dollars, which is worth more. Nick Saban was just awarded the “Recruiter Hall of Fame” award 10 mins ago
by Mr Pelican Pants on Jun 12, 2008 3:26 PM EDT reply actions
New AZ – you have a lot of tenacity – and that’s why I like you. That being said, It wasn’t even Auburn when they started playing football and the more telling thing is that if you ask anybody- but you- about football in the state of Alabama they’re going to say Alabama first. It’s alright – let it go. You’re team has still won six in a row. I imagine you as the guy yelling at the gigantic wall to move and to your continued frustration it just won’t move. Little Brother isn’t supposed to be happy about being little brother. That’s what makes him Little Brother and not say, Mike.
Kisses
As far as the Punt Bama, Punt question. We gave you a Terry Bowden reference, what more do you want?
by Picture Me Rollin on Jun 12, 2008 3:26 PM EDT reply actions
NewAZ-
Not true about tradition. I know many Alabama fans who not only recognize, but talk about, tradition at other SEC schools.
It’s just not on the same level.
by Tater Salad on Jun 12, 2008 3:26 PM EDT reply actions
- - Don’t let any facts get in the way of your brilliant story time with the kids. Your tales are very entertaining.
Holly – excellent use of picture placement. Hopefully you’ll allow Orson to place pictures in your future article regarding Stuff Orange and White People Like.
by The Snake will Drive Again! on Jun 12, 2008 3:27 PM EDT reply actions
@52: Little late. Stuff Orange And White People Like was a team effort, but I think you’ll agree we were fair and accurate in our depiction of Vol fandom.
by Holly on Jun 12, 2008 3:31 PM EDT reply actions
@41
Humor does depend, a great deal, on perspective.
by TD on Jun 12, 2008 3:31 PM EDT reply actions
#50: How many “big brothers” change their names after tying the “little brother”?
Seriously. Name one.
This whole “little brother” thing comes part and parcel with a holier-than-thou attitude that Bama fans have. It goes along with the “rightful place” attitude.
by NewAZTiger on Jun 12, 2008 3:31 PM EDT reply actions
Last Dragon, when you can lose 6 in a row to your biggest rival, yet still believe them to be your “little brother,” the skeet shooting just doesn’t get any easier…
by Billy From Baton Rouge on Jun 12, 2008 3:34 PM EDT reply actions
Hubris was a crime in some civilizations. In Tuscaloosa it’s considered a virtue.
by sonofsamford on Jun 12, 2008 3:36 PM EDT reply actions
Holier-than-thou? Seriously?
From a fan base that goes on, ad nauseum, about being an “Auburn Man” or an “Auburn Woman”, while oh so cleverly claiming that every “Bammer” lives in a trailer, abuses their spouse/children, is a meth addict, etc.?
Perfect response. Seriously.
by Tater Salad on Jun 12, 2008 3:39 PM EDT reply actions
Anyone have any scotch? I got a meeting to go to.
by Kenny Stabler on Jun 12, 2008 3:40 PM EDT reply actions
#59: How’s the meth business this time of year?
by NewAZTiger on Jun 12, 2008 3:44 PM EDT reply actions
Alabama= Big Bad Evil Empire, has won many universal championships, just went under a major reconstruction and rebuilt the Death Star and all its facilitys and replaced several old defective old model players, to replace them they are currently cloning Sith type warriors.
Auburn= Small and(AU fans thing) all that is good in the state of Alabama. Has won the last 6 battles, maybe one universal championship. Their Jedi mind tricks are getting old, with time, cannot with stand the constant pummeling of Sith warriors, and police attack dogs. In hand to hand combat, will chop block with extreme prejustice with the drop of a penalty flag.
Hate that Bo Jackson kids hadnt taken up the torch yet…
by Mr Pelican Pants on Jun 12, 2008 3:47 PM EDT reply actions
#52: Everything in post #37 is a fact.
Check it out on rolltide.com
Crimson Tide started after the 1907 Tie vs Auburn.
Auburn wins first game in Atlanta vs UGA on 2/20/1892
Alabama wins first game in Birmingham vs Birmingham High School on 11-11-1892. Goes on to lose to Auburn later in the season.
by NewAZTiger on Jun 12, 2008 3:49 PM EDT reply actions
#62: Good. Are you selling any Sansabelts?
(trying to get this thread to 100…)
by NewAZTiger on Jun 12, 2008 3:50 PM EDT reply actions
I’m a little curious about the Auburn Nat’l Championship ring.
If it’s from ‘57, shouldn’t it be sawed in half?
by St. Daywalker on Jun 12, 2008 3:52 PM EDT reply actions
@58 – I think you’re right – at least in regards to football. And we are talking about football and not an actual real problem right.
NewAZ, or should I say Don Quixote, please continue charging the windmills. One day I’m sure you’ll be proven right. Of course you’re already right in your mind… and isn’t that really all that matters.
by Picture Me Rollin on Jun 12, 2008 3:54 PM EDT reply actions
The only little brother I know of is Okie State – OU leads the series 78-17-7 (Thanks Phil Steele!)
When you lead your biggest rival by ONLY 5 games in the all-time series while considering 85% of those games have been played in your own backyard and since your rival is 4-0 in Jordan-Hare West, when will the delusions of “pwning” AU end?
by Downtown Plainsman on Jun 12, 2008 3:55 PM EDT reply actions
If we’re trying to get to 100, we’ve got a little ways to go. In the interest of putting this over the century mark…
You know, it’s not that Alabama alums/fans don’t appreciate Auburn as an academic institution and as an athletic foe.
Grooming dogs, and cats, for whoever likes cats, is a noble profession. And not just anybody can give a horse a suppository. And after all, if it wasn’t for Auburn, who would help the fine folks of Alabama keep Bob Barker’s dream of controlling the pet population alive? I say bravo for land grants.
In the interest of being somewhat bi-partisan:
Crimson and white people like to brag about academic rankings based on who’s who in America…
(I don’t, but have seen many posts about it)
by Tater Salad on Jun 12, 2008 3:57 PM EDT reply actions
Am I the only one who wants to see just how high we can get these comments up to?
by Billy From Baton Rouge on Jun 12, 2008 3:59 PM EDT reply actions
No, this is awesome. It’s like having a buncha them pet fish that fight.
by Holly on Jun 12, 2008 4:00 PM EDT reply actions
Addendum to my last post:
I would like to personally apologize to all alums of AU.
I just can’t ever get my dog to use the fake fire hydrant you have in the parking lot of your office.
I issue such a blanket apology because I’m not sure if it’s run by one AU alum or some kind of partnership.
Best regards,
Tater Salad
by Tater Salad on Jun 12, 2008 4:02 PM EDT reply actions
/Turns to friends and says “watch this”
In my opinion Tennessee is our biggest rival. They matter more , in the grand scheme of things, than Auburn.
You can spout statistics until the cows come home (actually apropos for the plains) and you’re always going to be Little Brother. Hey, I like my little brother. Stop getting so bent out of shape.
by Picture Me Rollin on Jun 12, 2008 4:03 PM EDT reply actions
Well we are well on our way to the century mark, and it was in 1992, at the celebration of 100yrs of excellence at Alabama, they won their last National Championship….and raise your hand if you hadnt You Tubed that games highlights at least 3 times a week……..
by Mr Pelican Pants on Jun 12, 2008 4:03 PM EDT reply actions
So at least Alabama won their high school game. Auburn wasn’t so lucky when they faced Tallassee High School just up the road, folks!
so, shhhhh, war eag err tiger err wait – what?
by James_Corn on Jun 12, 2008 4:04 PM EDT reply actions
I have to say Holly, I can’t wait to see your work last week, I know you’ll give us both barrels…much like you gave Mr. Tebow both boobs after the last UF-UT game!
by Billy From Baton Rouge on Jun 12, 2008 4:04 PM EDT reply actions
Oops I meant NEXT week…seems I’ve been a little busy enjoying one of the things purple and gold people like…whiskey.
by Billy From Baton Rouge on Jun 12, 2008 4:05 PM EDT reply actions
Correction: AU is 6-0 in JH-W if you include 1895 & 1901. 48-0 and 17-0 respectively.
But that’s ancient history…
by Downtown Plainsman on Jun 12, 2008 4:05 PM EDT reply actions
What my ex-wives and cops dont understand, all I wanna do is sit in my cubicle, is drink whiskey and watch old you tube clips….
by Mr Pelican Pants on Jun 12, 2008 4:09 PM EDT reply actions
Mr. PP – Well played sir, well played. This is a situation where we can learn form Little Brother and find out how much TubofEars paid the AU Police Department to leave Trey Blackmon alone… (Glen Coffee cringes every time that name is said.)
by Picture Me Rollin on Jun 12, 2008 4:09 PM EDT reply actions
I think that a better image of a corpse wearing a houndstooth hat would be Imothep from the Mummy or Otzi the Iceman. It is just a suggestion. But other than that it is a fine post.
by Anonymous IV on Jun 12, 2008 4:10 PM EDT reply actions
I could care less what you ignormuses think b/c your views are burned into your memories of past greatness (see post 75).
My goal in your words: Im tryin to edumacate those lil peoples that dunt know their history lessons.
by Downtown Plainsman on Jun 12, 2008 4:11 PM EDT reply actions
I know it was covered by the “all frat/sorority types dress alike” comment, but I’d specifically like to point out that the pink/gray North Face jackets from the sorority girls should’ve been singled out for mention. I couldn’t get over how many girls were wearing those things when I started school there.
by Nico on Jun 12, 2008 4:12 PM EDT reply actions
Louisiana-Monroe doesn’t have time for this shit
/Only 14 more posts to go
by The underrated Sorola Palmer on Jun 12, 2008 4:14 PM EDT reply actions
One thing that wasn’t mentioned concerning things Crimson/white folks like…..Shreveport!
/Let’s get to 100
by hunglikehussain on Jun 12, 2008 4:14 PM EDT reply actions
Agreed, Holly (@72) — it’s at times like this I appreciate being a Dawg even more.
by Doug on Jun 12, 2008 4:17 PM EDT reply actions
@ 84 – That’s just plain upsetting, because I totally care about what you think. I think I’m gonna need some quite time. I’m also glad to know that English, as well as Chicken Husbandry is offered in the Lowliest Village, so that you can, you know educate us.
by Picture Me Rollin on Jun 12, 2008 4:18 PM EDT reply actions
I got nothing to say, but by gosh, I’m gonna say it….
:-)
by kt on Jun 12, 2008 4:22 PM EDT reply actions
It is always so cute when SEC schools that are not Florida or Vanderbilt argue about academics using the flawed US News & World Report Rankings.
by Anonymous IV on Jun 12, 2008 4:22 PM EDT reply actions
Doug, That sounds awful high and mighty for someone who, not long ago, made fun of a Tech “three-peat” shirt. Oh, and it didn’t make the final cut, but you were part of the inspiration for the “Conspiracy Theories” part.
by Picture Me Rollin on Jun 12, 2008 4:22 PM EDT reply actions
Those godawful North Face jackets are a scourge in Knoxville as well. IT NEVER SNOWS HERE, BITCHES. Stop acting like you’re about to scale an Andean peak instead of drool through Con Law.
by Holly on Jun 12, 2008 4:22 PM EDT reply actions
no, really. who has the scotch? i gotta get loose to drive, er, go to this meeting…
by Kenny Stabler on Jun 12, 2008 4:23 PM EDT reply actions
Another Tradition: No Huddle on the Capstone – Known Felons can’t congregate!
by NewAZTiger on Jun 12, 2008 4:23 PM EDT reply actions
That last post was to entice more people to get invloved to reach 100 posts. It feels like an NPR drive. “If you donate at the 160 dollar level you will …”
by Anonymous IV on Jun 12, 2008 4:24 PM EDT reply actions
kt-
That’s as coherent a post as any other in this thread
by Tater Salad on Jun 12, 2008 4:25 PM EDT reply actions
Sorry Stabler I only drink Tequila and Vodka.
by Anonymous IV on Jun 12, 2008 4:26 PM EDT reply actions
Damn, I was #99. Well, back to watching the Poland Austria game.
by Anonymous IV on Jun 12, 2008 4:27 PM EDT reply actions
Ah, the old Alabama-Auburn flame war, I have no dog in this fight. But it appears that “little brother” seems to have had quite a growth spurt in recent years.
by John on Jun 12, 2008 4:28 PM EDT reply actions
#68
Yeah, just football. But I wouldn’t go so far as to call it a problem.
by sonofsamford on Jun 12, 2008 4:28 PM EDT reply actions
I was #100. Yeah! I will celebrate with some vodka.
by Anonymous IV on Jun 12, 2008 4:28 PM EDT reply actions
Correction: Polarized Costas with blue tenting. When they are feeling extremely rebellious they all wear those funky fishing shirts.
by Buford T. Johes on Jun 12, 2008 4:30 PM EDT reply actions
#107: We should stop because Bahr told us too.
by NewAZTiger on Jun 12, 2008 4:35 PM EDT reply actions
Bringing up news stories from 1907 while accusing your more important rival of living in the past – nope, nor irony there.
by BamaCPA on Jun 12, 2008 4:36 PM EDT reply actions
I’d love to see an Auburn version of this – but I guess pork rinds and Natural Light won’t really fill a column, now will it ?
by BamaCPA on Jun 12, 2008 4:39 PM EDT reply actions
Admirable showing Alabama fans.
For some reason whenever I see this type of swelling of Tide emotion, I picture Scarlett O’Hara in a dirty field, turnip in hand, screaming….“As God is my witness, I will never be hungry again!”
by hunglikehussain on Jun 12, 2008 4:40 PM EDT reply actions
Thank you Tater!
John, the depths of the psychology regarding the Auburn-Alabama relationship would take a team of psychiatrists to get to the bottom of.
Warren St. John wrote an almost perfect book, Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer, but it was more a view of fan sports behavior in general with a focus primarily on his team, Alabama.
I wish WSJ would do another, more in the vein of Will Blythe’s “To Hate Like This is to be Happy Forever” in which he (a devout UNC fan) embedded hisself with his mortal enemy (Duke) to find out why he had such a dislike for Duke.
We need to get one of our Bama or Auburn authors to do such a book. (with the team of psychiatrists handy, of course…. :-) )
by kt on Jun 12, 2008 4:42 PM EDT reply actions
-SEC Record with 21 SEC championships
-NCAA records with 55 post-season bowl game appearances
-NCAA record of 31 bowl game victories
-NCAA record of 28 ten-win seasons
The old crimson girl might be down, but she’s not out.
Beating LSU 15 times in a row in Baton Rouge from 1969 to 1998 was a special feeling. Thanks for the memories.
by Your Mom on Jun 12, 2008 4:44 PM EDT reply actions
- - Ditto on that sentiment
The best I ever heard anyone explain the war is as follows:
Auburn grad (yes, he was one) – explained the rivalry as follows:
Given the option of having his daughter become a prostitute OR losing to Bama, he would have to think hard about which option to take. No final answer given on which option he would chose.
I think the previous posts come close to witnessing a potential fratricide.
by hobeg8r on Jun 12, 2008 4:44 PM EDT reply actions
#112
Jen, I believe we all would like to see proof of such.
by Bill on Jun 12, 2008 4:44 PM EDT reply actions
#112…proof is required. Otherwise, they don’t exist.
by Aerobab on Jun 12, 2008 4:52 PM EDT reply actions
Re: 117—Maybe I should learn to ‘refresh’ after reading through triple-digit posts.
by Aerobab on Jun 12, 2008 4:54 PM EDT reply actions
Holly it does snow in Knoxville. Sometimes like a mothafucka. It does not, however, snow in Tuscaloosa. I’m a solid black northface guy myself, but that’s just how I roll. Trendy, yes…but good shit nonetheless.
by Vol on Jun 12, 2008 4:59 PM EDT reply actions
As a proud grad of the aforementioned basis of the subject matter argued herein, I say this is pretty good shit. And damn funny. And despite our somewhat lackluster overall performance on the gridiron lately, the fact that there are about 12,455,994 replies (or the same # of our national titles) to this column clearly shows that whle we may not be the prettiest date to this year’s prom, at least we’re gonna party with the band during set breaks. roll tide.
by EZ on Jun 12, 2008 5:01 PM EDT reply actions
Holly, if Orson has found a Wi-Fi (Krystal has them!), I am sure he has a tear in his eye. He’s thinking, “I left my baby in good hands, strong freckledy competent hands.”
by hunglikehussain on Jun 12, 2008 5:02 PM EDT reply actions
I have yet to see Da Bahr in a Houndstooth hat. It’s always plaid.
by war eagle on Jun 12, 2008 5:03 PM EDT reply actions
- —
Now, now. Let the record show I will never tsk-tsk anyone for making fun of Georgia Tech.
by Doug on Jun 12, 2008 5:04 PM EDT reply actions
@119. I like my North Face, too…when I’m on a snowboard. Maybe I’m hot-blooded, but I don’t think I ever wore it outside on campus the entire time I was there.
Wearing them in Alabama is way worse, though, you’re right.
by Holly on Jun 12, 2008 5:07 PM EDT reply actions
#92
Uh, Florida is far closer to Tenn or U of Alabama than it is to Vandy.
Dude, Florida is just a big state school, and not a good state school like Michigan or Berkeley.
by meatybob on Jun 12, 2008 5:08 PM EDT reply actions
- & #122 deserve a response, where did this houndstooth craze come from???
by Downtown Plainsman on Jun 12, 2008 5:14 PM EDT reply actions
Just to kick the hornet’s nest one more time…
you know what would make a great Daniel Moore print?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iz_rrT3lyE4
by jakldawg on Jun 12, 2008 5:23 PM EDT reply actions
127 – I’m thinking like the rest of the turdition, we’re just not supposed to question it.
by war eagle on Jun 12, 2008 5:24 PM EDT reply actions
Hey, Holly, will there be a tOSU stuff red and silver people like?
Would this help:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PahHn2WxUlI&feature=related
Peeing in a stairwell is a tradition that I think is unmatched.
by war eagle on Jun 12, 2008 5:25 PM EDT reply actions
#121, pretty sure he gave some advice sounding a little like this: “when in doubt just get an Alabama/Auburn flame started”
by Johnny Douche on Jun 12, 2008 5:27 PM EDT reply actions
Holly, I’m a skiier. You say potahto. I’m not sure this relationship is going to work.
by Vol on Jun 12, 2008 5:27 PM EDT reply actions
I covered the twins on my blog – which up set some of the brethren:
http://picturemerollin.wordpress.com/2008/03/26/twins-sign-autographs-wtf/
As far a hounstooth vs. plaid. Houndstooth is a type of plaid. The pattern is so small in some of the hats that it’s not visible lat a distance like some of the more current versions. But that’s about as queer eye for the newAZ guy as I’m willing to go.
by Picture Me Rollin on Jun 12, 2008 5:31 PM EDT reply actions
#114, hang onto those memories. They’re all you’ve got.
by TD on Jun 12, 2008 5:31 PM EDT reply actions
@130
Johnny, the facts don’t lie.
http://truthlaidbear.com/showdetails.php?host=http://everydayshouldbesaturday.com
by hunglikehussain on Jun 12, 2008 5:33 PM EDT reply actions
Should have said plainsman rather then new AZ… apologies
by Picture Me Rollin on Jun 12, 2008 5:33 PM EDT reply actions
when in doubt just get an Alabama/Auburn flame started
I will freely admit to taking every opportunity to do just that. No other rivalry comes close for sheer entertainment value, at least on this board.
by Holly on Jun 12, 2008 5:38 PM EDT reply actions
#133,
I think you’re confusing memories with facts. Odds are we get #13 before you get #2. What ya think.
by Bill on Jun 12, 2008 5:38 PM EDT reply actions
ummm
i think bama is going to beat clemson, tennesse, LSU and auburn this year. so can we start talking about that? LSU could get beat by appy st w/o a QB
by tempebamafan on Jun 12, 2008 5:43 PM EDT reply actions
#133, that has the potential for a very interesting wager.
I’ve got a buddy that has AU’s logo tattoed on his ass from
losing an Iron Bowl bet.
I wish I was kidding.
by Johnny Douche on Jun 12, 2008 5:44 PM EDT reply actions
Nothing like permanently scarring your body for the love of your school.
by Bill on Jun 12, 2008 5:47 PM EDT reply actions
Reason for the Houndstooth acceptance as Holy Raiments- that is the closest design-wise that is allowed. A follower of Coach Bryant would never actually wear the same pattern He wore. Sacrilege.
“You shall not BEAR false witness, graven images, etc.”
It is in the bible or koran, I am almost sure.
by First time-long time on Jun 12, 2008 5:48 PM EDT reply actions
Well…it looks like the cows have finally come home to roost…..What I hate the most of where I live is that
in Baldwin county, the upper half —near Bay Minette and upwards, is Auburn territory…and down south, there are sprinklings of Aubies…just depends on if your a farmer or horse rider or not…..most Alabama alum ARE attorneys down here, as about 75% of the police force….but I feel safe when I take my pets to the vet that I wont get chopped blocked, at least in Fairhope…I bet its hard to chop block a cat though….
by Mr Alabama on Jun 12, 2008 5:49 PM EDT reply actions
#140, wrong… loser got the OTHER team’s logo.
by Johnny Douche on Jun 12, 2008 5:49 PM EDT reply actions
I understand. I wouldn’t call getting an Alabama tatoo scarring your body.
by Bill on Jun 12, 2008 5:51 PM EDT reply actions
@141 – I’m going to piggyback on 112 right here, but I’m not sure thongs and bras count as Holy Raiments. If that’s the case I need to try a different church.
by Picture Me Rollin on Jun 12, 2008 5:57 PM EDT reply actions
#132
“At least they go to school somewhere unlike a large portion of Little Brothers fan base, who own chickens and feel they have to support Auburn for the Poultry Science angle.
If Little Brother even had girls this good-looking how would they distinguish themselves? Wear Orange and Blue? Not date their brother? (Actually the last one would make them stand out.)”
Dumb and Dumber comments right there, come back to reality please. Sad.
by Downtown Plainsman on Jun 12, 2008 5:57 PM EDT reply actions
Alabama/Auburn makes for entertaining internet fodder. Had Holly picked Michigan, on this forum, very little response except indignation that UM was included by piss and blue fans, and agreement by tOSU and Spartan fans on their haughtiness with the occasional Domer chiming in about their superiority.
Since seeing the AU/UA rivalry up close since moving to the south, I now know true hatred. While I love tOSU, I don’t hate Michigan, but rather respect them. I pull for them in OOC games (exception being App St), and would rather they be good and we beat them than suck like they will this year. I get the impression that Barners and Gumps don’t pull for each other…ever.
by Crabapple Buck on Jun 12, 2008 5:59 PM EDT reply actions
True facts department:
As much as I hate to admit it, and because Auburn has been an admirable foe (best game of the year for the past decade), history is on Bama’s side.
When Auburn significantly increases their number of SEC championships in comparison to Georgia Tech, they will forever be referred to as “little brother.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_SEC_Conference_Champions#Football
by hunglikehussain on Jun 12, 2008 6:02 PM EDT reply actions
Slow down on the comments, please. I can’t refresh fast enough…….
by Last Dragon on Jun 12, 2008 6:02 PM EDT reply actions
Good stuff. But it’s Lynyrd Skynyrd with y’s, not Lynard Skynard with a’s.
by snowcrash on Jun 12, 2008 6:04 PM EDT reply actions
DT Plainsman- The comment that you cut and pasted was an exchange with an Auburn fan who visits my blog and comments on a regular basis and were tongue-in-cheek; I didn’t really mean that. It was just an exchange with him. I think the other writing on my site and comments elsewhere are clear that if I say something like that it’s with a glint in my eye. I have many good friends who went to or pull for Auburn and I wouldn’t hesitate to say stuff like that in front of them because they don’t wear their football loyalties on their sleeve. But hey, I though you didn’t care.
by Picture Me Rollin on Jun 12, 2008 6:07 PM EDT reply actions
Ok, after post 115 I’m only refreshing to see when Jen posts the proof of the houndstooth thong and bra… JEN WE NEED PROOF… and to know where you got them, because let’s face it, my gf is going to have to have a set
by PeterPumpkinhead on Jun 12, 2008 6:13 PM EDT reply actions
Carl (UofA): at least our school is not a cow college
Lenny (barnU) : You’re only sayin that caus’ our school was founded by a cow…
by tempebamafan on Jun 12, 2008 6:27 PM EDT reply actions
This might seem like a curious coincidence -
We’ve just moved into a new home here in central Arizona. As a consequence, all of the paraphenalia (including the Hat and three Daniel Moores) have been taking out of the powder room and alcove – and stored in the parlor – while we paint those rooms (you guessed it)..Crimson and White.
Just seventy-odd days until Clemson, in Atlanta – wow. What a way to start a season : )
by Fat Charlie the Archangel on Jun 12, 2008 6:27 PM EDT reply actions
Picture Me Rollin,
Some of my best friends are Auburn fans and black of course!
by Kenny on Jun 12, 2008 6:35 PM EDT reply actions
I read this while wearing my “Old Row” T-Shirt circa 2002, plaid shorts, Costas on a croakie around my neck, and boat shoes, having just recently gotten out of my four-door pickup.
Dear god, no wonder my wife makes fun of me.
by SH on Jun 12, 2008 6:39 PM EDT reply actions
I would also add that the more “elite” conformists wear clothes from The Locker Room.
by SH on Jun 12, 2008 6:48 PM EDT reply actions
I wish we could put the “Hatred Myth” aside regarding Bama and Auburn.
I am KT…the peace maker.
There is no hate here. An Auburn/Bama kid may have one parent who is a Bama fan, the other an Auburn fan. Auburn parents/Bama Parents may find theirselves with a child who is a fan of the opposite school. Auburn grads marry Bama grads.
But just like with anyone that you hold dearly in your heart and love with all your soul; there is at least two hours out of each calendar year that you just want to beat the Holy hell out of ’em….
:-)
War Eagle if you can, Roll Tide if you got to….
;-)
by KT on Jun 12, 2008 7:17 PM EDT reply actions
By the way, Picture Me Rollin’….
War Eagle…..but by gosh I want to sleep with the Houndstooth Twins.
Not one, not the other, but both….at the same time. And I want it to be on video…
:-)~
by KT on Jun 12, 2008 7:21 PM EDT reply actions
Clean, Old-Fashioned Hate marvels at the bloodlust to our immediate west, marvelling at it from what has always felt like a safe distance, even while it encroaches on our fairer state, both in the recruitment of our high school players and the purchase of real estate in our gated suburban communities.
by NCT on Jun 12, 2008 8:22 PM EDT reply actions
I am sure in some parts of the state, placing a wrought iron logo of an Elephant in your neighbors/ old high school buddys yard 6 yrs ago after the Iron Bowl, then setting it on fire, would be considered a hate crime……kinda like a low key, "lower case “t” burnings., and then, the following six years having the neighbor spray paint the Auburn logo on your lawn that takes about 3 or 4 weeks to fade away without killing the grass….not just a little logo, a full on stenciled War Eagle……that was just a bad bet for my side is all I am sayin
by Mr Alabama on Jun 12, 2008 9:16 PM EDT reply actions
“I’d rather beat that cow college once than beat Texas ten times.” – The Bear
by John on Jun 12, 2008 9:34 PM EDT reply actions
Bama Doctor: Youve got one month to live.
Auburn patient: But its only June, the Iron Bowl isnt until the end of November.
Bama Doctor: OK dammit!!! .. Ill give you five more months. But thats it! You aint gonna get no more!
Auburn patient grins ..
SEVEN BABY !
:-)
by KT on Jun 12, 2008 9:46 PM EDT reply actions
As a UA alum the original article up top has got to be some of the most hilarious stuff I’ve read in a long time, enough to keep me inside on a beautiful evening chuckling to my self and giving a good guffaw about every 5th post.
It should, however serve as a dire warning to the next author to send in photos with the article, no matter how brilliantly written.
Roll Tide
by ColoBama on Jun 12, 2008 9:49 PM EDT reply actions
Saban’s one swallowed bug away from pulling one of these in Tuscaloosa press conference.
by Allahver Fist on Jun 12, 2008 10:39 PM EDT reply actions
Yeah, where was the white bag?
I was wondering the same thing. It certainly ’’snows’’ in TTown… blizzards would be more accurate.
My favorite Bama trait was all my Bama friends telling me I sounded like an idiot when talking about the Dawgs Top 5 recruiting classes over the past few years. Telling me how stupid that was and how silly I was for talking about recruiting rankings. BOY OH BOY, did that change this year!
I would add the others: Dreamland BBQ, preteneding to care about their basketball team, and Gulf Shores.
And if you get stuck in a bar with at more than 5 Bama people and Sweet Home comes on… enjoy! (Rolls eyes)
by EmotionalFescue on Jun 12, 2008 11:44 PM EDT reply actions
Why would Alabamian’s be ashamed that the bear drank too much?
In my opinion it makes him that much more badass.
Funny for the most part. Stereotypes are fun!
However the whole “crimson and white people” every sentence kind of kills it.
by SEC! SEC! SEC! on Jun 13, 2008 1:54 AM EDT reply actions
I’ve never understood Bama alums who could marry AU people. It’s inherently wrong and totally unfair to any offspring.
by BamaCPA on Jun 13, 2008 8:21 AM EDT reply actions
- - totally agree. The wife’s an Ole Miss grad and honestly, if my boys want to go there, I’m fine with that. If the barn was involved, it would be a different story.
Avoid Lee County Alabama at all costs. I will say the last visit there was nice, way back in 2001. That’s the year they let a one legged Andrew Zow torch them and caddy left on the 1st series with a dislocated shoulder. Hard to believe that’s the last time we beat those bastards.
For God’s sake end it at six. My liver and sanity can’t take much more of this.
by The Snake will Drive Again! on Jun 13, 2008 8:57 AM EDT reply actions
Seriously, though, Baton Rouge is just as full of Pod People as Tuscaloosa. The guys all wear backward hair (it’s the new Trucker Hat, y’all!) pastel polos, boat shoes/New Balance/LSU Crocs, have their sunglasses on their frat wraps (i.e. Croakies), and if they’re feeling a little wild, they may wear a hemp bracelet. If it’s a nice place, they will wear long pants instead of the khaki (or madras) short pants.
The chicks, all straight hair unless they’re a little wild and have bangs, freaking flip-flops, oversized purses, texting like mad on their Razrs (pink or purple, thank you) and wearing those hideous cotton dress that look good on no one (and possibly designed by one of the mindless twats on The Hills). If it’s a fancy place, their flip-flops are platform and bedazzled all to hell.
I can’t wait to leave. I love the football, I love the weather, I love the food, but I am sick of the student body. Of course, I’ve been faculty here at LSU for six years.
Now I’m off to Milwuakee! Woot!
by jeneria on Jun 13, 2008 10:54 AM EDT reply actions
Bammers are just misunderstood lovers of fine art.
never trust a man who dyes his hair
by Saban'sHairDye on Jun 13, 2008 11:38 AM EDT reply actions
@ #174-
The word twat is not used enough,…. especially by educators!
by King Harvest on Jun 13, 2008 1:22 PM EDT reply actions
‘Sweet Home Alabama’ isn’t just a Bama favorite!
I’ve heard that song so much that I am tired of it, yet I have heard it endlessly in Phoenix and Denver, Cleveland and Columbus, Albuquerque and San Fran. I even heard it played in Frankfurt, Paris, and Milan!
Some strange juxtaposition of chords makes it a near universal song.
Even Kid Rock likes it! Strippers FTW!
RTR
by maomatt on Jun 13, 2008 2:26 PM EDT reply actions
Only 178 replies? I am so dissapointed with Alabama and Auburn fans.
by John on Jun 13, 2008 3:17 PM EDT reply actions
I prefer “Hoover Hair” to “Bama Bangs” as this hideous style seems to have originated there. Never made it to Mobile, thankfully.
by Greggo on Jun 14, 2008 12:23 AM EDT reply actions
Tater Salad @ 73
Think nothing about the Fire Hydrant incident. One can hardly expect a mutt born under your trailer to have the manners of a pure bred.
I do have one request though. Please park your “Vintage” Chevy truck down the block. Last time the billows of smoke from your exhaust left a film on my 7-Series.
by AUVet on Jun 14, 2008 12:19 PM EDT reply actions
God I love this state. 365 days of war. We have cease fires, of course, but you always have to watch your back.
@ 181. 7-Series? Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you an au grad. Nice to see that you have done well for yourself cutting off Mr. Muffins nuts.
by peace w/o the barn on Jun 20, 2008 1:20 AM EDT reply actions
this is a bunch of bull .
this makes alabama fans look like they have at least a tiny bit of class, they dont .
i was born and raised with orange and blue blood running through my veins .
i am only 14 years old, yet i still believe the head coach of Alabama is the devil [nick satin, oops i mean saben, NOT!] and the players his evil menions .
WAR DAMN EAGLE YALL!!!
by megan on Dec 6, 2008 12:30 AM EST reply actions
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